Just Out of Reach
By: Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl
Chapter 5: Decisions
Two months later...
Olivia was waiting in Casey's office for her to come back from a competency hearing. After that fateful, healing, night, they had both agreed it was okay to be upset, but it was better to try to get some things back to normal.
Casey didn't have the bite she used to, but she made up for that with lengthy research.
Olivia, sometimes, was very subdued, but managed to snap back whenever a victim needed her.
They made it their normal anymore. What happened wasn't just going to go away, but they knew they had each other and, for that, they were eternally grateful. The present case was tough, so Olivia figured they could both use a night out to dinner, which she had yet to surprise her with. Hopefully, she'd be up for it.
"Hey honey, what are you doing here?" Casey asked as she entered her office tossing her jacket on the chair.
Olivia smiled, walking over and kissing her cheek. "Are you done for the day?"
"Mmmh," Casey purred leaning into the kiss. "Are you?"
"Mhm. How about dinner?" she whispered, wrapping her arms around her waist. "Just me and the most beautiful woman in the world on my arm."
"Really? You can leave your mistress long enough for dinner with me?" Casey asked with laughter in her voice.
She raised a brow. "Mistress? No. It doesn't sleep with me. Only one woman does that. And she's the one I love most of all," she purred against her neck. "Unless a major case comes up, I'm all yours, Benson," she whispered by her ear. "Oh, you don't mind that, do you? Taking my name informally in private?"
"Honey, let's face it, the job is with you all the time. Or maybe I should say you're always on the job. Either way, I don't mind I just love to tease you about it. As for taking your name? It would be my honor to be called Casey Novak-Benson on a regular basis."
She sighed, nodding. "Yes, but...you, you're more important. It's just how my life is, always has been." She kissed her cheek again. "I wish I could call you that. Really do... Now, about dinner?"
"I don't know about you, but I'm starving. I had to work right through lunch."
"What would you like? I'm thinking a nice, quiet place in a corner," she kissed her again, next to her ear, "my hand on your thigh..."
"Keep talking like that, detective and we will skip dinner and go straight to desert."
She smiled, pulling away and extending her hand. "You pick the place. Dessert can be later, or now, if you want..."
"That is a hard decision. I'm starving for food, but my appetite for you is never quenched."
"It's up to you."
"I say dinner. I want to talk to you about something," Casey said grabbing her jacket from the chair.
She nodded. "Okay, lead the way, Benson."
Casey smiled at Olivia from across the booth. She had taken her to the restaurant where she first told her she loved her. The restaurant she took her too when she told her she wanted to have a child with her. The restaurant where she took her the night the test came back positive.
Olivia put her hand on the table, grasping hers, smiling. "What did you want to talk about?"
"It's been almost six months since we lost the baby."
"Almost, but not quite," she said, caressing her hand. "Do you want to try again? Even with the risks?"
"I was thinking about it. I want to give you the family you want and deserve."
"I want it, yes. Deserve? With my life and job...that's questionable. What I want - who I want - is you. Always."
"I know honey. There's no doubt in my mind there. But there's nothing I want more than to have a child. I was thinking after the first of the year to try again. That will be more than six months. Would you be ok with that?"
She pulled a three second fake pout before responding, "You wouldn't like to legalize us more?" She waved it off with a smile. "Yes, that's perfect with me. Just hope and pray that it's...well, you know..."
"If it doesn't happen, we can look into adoption and if it does you will be the best mother anyone has ever seen. If, God forbid, we lose another child, I will stop. I promise you."
"Casey, we wouldn't have to st—" The scenario ran through her mind of the past months. Once had been hard enough, but twice? Twice might very well cause Casey to lose faith forever in her body's natural processes. She squeezed her hand. "Okay, but I would really rather it was you, makes it more special. But there are plenty of babies who need that love too. A-are you sure you'd be up to handling adoption if..."
"As long as we can find one that has those brown eyes I fell in love with the day I barged into that house you were searching." Casey said with tender love in her voice "I know you're worried about what will happen to me if I miscarry again. I don't know, honestly, because I barely survived the first one. What I do know is I want to carry a child. Our child. I want to see the look on your face when I give birth and you hold him or her for the first time. How wrapped you will be that second. Don't say that you won't be because we both know you will be."
She smiled. "So will you. Beautiful as ever and I'll love you even more."
"Not as much as you Miss Bad Ass Benson."
"Ah, a bad ass am I? I might have to teach you a little lesson about being one."
"Oh yeah?" Casey said dropping her head and batting her eyes which she knew was a guarantee to get what she wanted. "So, are you ok with trying again?"
"I love you Olivia," Casey whispered as she leaned over the table to kiss the love of her life
Olivia moaned lightly into the kiss, her hand going to the back of her head. "I love you," she whispered into her lips. "I can't stand to be without you," she moaned, her hand gliding across and down Casey's cheek.
"Take me home. I'm ready for desert." Casey whispered as she pulled away from Olivia knowing if she didn't put some space between them there would be a show for others to watch.
Olivia stood, donning her jacket and helping Casey into hers. "Homeward bound then, beautiful."
Author's Note: So what do you think?
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Liv-x-Lex4Ever & livsgirl