Carolina Jasmine

Carolina Jasmine, vivid gold,

Deep-throats, star shaped,

Always apart,

Agonised outcast.

He feels so lonely watching her. What is she doing? He doesn't understand. Why does she fuss with herself like this? What is the point?

She and her friends are at the spa. They are having themselves tortured by dropping hot stones on their bare backs and jumping into pools of steaming water. But when he, furious, tries to attack those who dared hurt his precious creature she catches his eye and stares at him until he retreats.

Till this day he can still never hold her gaze.

Their mothers smile benignly and do not interfere as the torturers begin to hit the girls, up and down their backs, repeatedly. It must have hurt them, he could hear a girl's cry.

But Sarah only smiles, and smirks at him watching her through the gloom.

She knows he can see her.

And she pushes him away, outcasts him. Lonely, frightened by his feelings and desperately seeking her, the solace, the fire that she conjures within him to burn away his fears and worries. But it is as if there is a huge rift between them, one that he cannot cross.

He doesn't understand it when they stare down in worry and tears at pieces of paper marked with numbers. He doesn't understand it when they cluster together to poison their skin with cream that makes them go as pale as him and slather their nails with glittering rainbows. He doesn't understand it when she boldly steps in front of the rattling metal monsters she calls buses and waves them down blithely.

He doesn't understand her and what he sees frightens him.

Nothing beats her down, she cries and she weeps and she smirks in the darkness and pushes him away. There is nothing he can do, nothing he can say.

All he can do is wait, wait for nighttime and sleep, where she will come to him in her dreams. Then she will wrap her arms around his neck and whisper in his ear, and for a brief, temporary moment, a bridge is built and he understands.

But then she pushes him away again, and he stands on the fringes, a lonely outcast, peering in, trying to understand.