Just Oga displaying his God gifted skill in culinary. And he was definitely not making her a breakfast, he was making the breakfast.
No. He must have seen it wrong. Maybe his mom decided to grow her hair overnight and dyed it blond. Must be it. There was no other explanation for this this this demon to cook on his treasured weekend. 5 days are his limits after all, he would not, could not let her ruin his weekend breakfast. How would he gain energy to play Dragon Quest all-day-long if he was eating inedible, poisonous, fully-intended-to-kill-him meal?
Baby Beel on the other hand did not actually share his opinion on this matter which was weird since their thoughts were pretty much synchronized. "Dah adah!" Beel exclaimed happily as he saw the golden bob of head working her way through the kitchen.
"Beel, that's obviously not Hilda. That's my mom you're seeing because Hilda doesn't coughattempt-to-kill-mecough cook on my weekends." Said blonde turned like a knee jerk reaction towards the ever deadpan Oga and her young master, immediately glaring at the former while Beel frowned a little at the hostile air displayed by his pseudo parents.
"Amazing sense of humour you got there, sewer rat." She said, her facial expression evidently saying otherwise. Now that Hilda was facing him, he noticed that she was not in her usual maid uniform but still clad in her sleeping gown, her loose blonde locks looked messy and unkempt unlike her usually neat braid and glossy hair that Oga used to see. That should be a warning bell ringing that something was clearly not right but he is Oga Tatsumi and super foolish Oga Tatsumi always, always ignored the warning bell in his head.
"You look terrible. Now I'm really starting to believe that you're not Hilda." Beel on the other hand, unlike his father; actually had some sense. Unfortunately he couldn't talk to save his father's life so he dah-adah-buh-ed to him. Even then, Oga only shrugged. Beel feel exasperated but again, he couldn't actually talk, so it sounded like buh-wa-dah-beh instead. But Beel thought maybe it would be okay since he did manage to stop his father from saying 'thank you' when his mother said he got an amazing sense of humour before.
"Oh yeah, what give it away?" Hilda retorted, voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Well for one your hair is unkempt, you haven't take a bath, I bet you didn't even brush your teeth, you have really swollen eyes and your face look bloated, you're still in your white dress when you're supposed to be wearing your black dress. " Oga counted with his hand totally unaware that Hilda's eyes were twitching.
"IT'S A RHETORICAL QUESTION YOU FOOL!"
"OUCH THAT HURTS! HOW SHOULD I KNOW ABOUT THAT? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT RHETORICAL SUPPOSED TO MEAN!"
"WELL ISN'T THAT SURPRISING CONSIDERING YOU'RE SUCH A GODDAMN WORTHLESS FOOL?"
"IT'S NOT SURPRISING BITCH!" Hilda gave up, shoulder slumped and one hand rubbing her temple, sighing loudly while doing so. Beel whimpered seeing how tired Hilda was and buh-wah his father to stop him. "You really are not okay. Have you even slept at all?" Oga moved to where she was and peered over her shoulder to meet with the sight of a very nasty looking black concoction. Hilda rolled her eyes, fighting the urge to ask him what gave it away when she remembered the argument before. "No and no."
"Before you ask your rhetorical question – whatever that mean – you kinda sucked at making a good comeback today." Hilda's eyes widened and Beel's eyes started to water because he knew that this would not end well because apparently his father foolishness knows no bound. But then something unthinkable happened, before Hilda gotten to strangle him out of his life and before Beel could even start to cry. Oga shoved Hilda towards the stairs. "Go to sleep, I'll make breakfast. Mom and Dad are out right?"
Hilda was clearly surprised enough for her, the icy cold expressionless queen, to actually furrow her brows. "…yes, Mother and Father are out to a relative's place. Misaki-san has gone to work and Mother has strictly told me to prepare the breakfast." Oga raised one of his eyebrows before launching into a maniac laugh. "Mom? Strictly? You? I doubt it. I know my Mom, Hilda. Now go to sleep, I'll even bring the breakfast to the bed." Hilda was still not moving up the stair, instead she crossed her arm and Oga noticed that her nose was almost flaring, almost. "Fool, you don't even know the first thing on how to hold a knife. And ladle. And spatula."
"Hilda, eventhough I look like this but I'm actually gifted in cooking. So go away and sleep. And stop talking cause you suck in comeback so badly today." Hilda narrowed her eyes at Oga, trying her best to ignore his ridiculous comment about his look and finally moved a step up. Oga and Beel shared a triumphant look before Hilda suspiciously stopped in her track and narrowed her eyes again at Oga. "You just want to wear that chef outfit again, aren't you?"
"So what? Like hell I would let it rot in the closet without using my God-gifted talent to the fullest. Just go to sleep." Oga thought damn, she knew me too well. He actually thought he could get away with this. But the chef outfit is so cool and it would be weird to just wear it around the house and the neighbourhood without any purpose. He maybe did that once or twice but whatever; the chef outfit is cool so it was okay. "And, heh, what give it away?" Hilda grunted loudly in frustration and stomped the whole way up the stairs. Oga looked at Beel questioningly and shrugged, shaking his head afterwards. "She must be really tired."
"I'll take your filthy bed! AND THAT IS THE WRONG USAGE OF RHETORICAL QUESTION SINCE YOU ALREADY EXPLAIN IT YOU WORTHLESS TRASH OF A FOOLISH SEWER RAT!" Oga nodded understandingly and looked at Beel, "Really really really tired. But I give her credits for the insults, she is actually better now." Beel sighed in relief, glad that a war between his parents had been prevented. "OGA TATSUMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Maybe not afterall. "JUST GO TO SLEEP WOMAN!"
Fully decked in his chef outfit, complete with the hat; of course since that would be the the main point of the chef outfit- it only dawned on him then what he actually had get himself into. He didn't just told Hilda that would make breakfast, what more a breakfast in bed for her, didn't he? "Beel, I know I said I would make breakfast, bring the breakfast to bed even, but that's because," Oga paused for dramatic effect and shook his head, a trembling finger pointed to a pot of a nasty black concoction. "…THAT FUCKING NASTY BLACK SOUP SHE MADE THERE! I don't even want to imagine how I'm going to die after eating that." Beel fearing his sleeping mother would get up, motioned an adorable shush. "Pssh, she won't get up. You know how she is when she's tired. Listen Beel, sometimes a man has to do whatever it needs to save their life even if that means making a breakfast in bed, understand?"
Beel crossed his tiny arms and nodded thoughtfully. "Now, what should I make? She loves spicy food, but you know how extreme her spicy level is. So let's make our food separately…," Oga trailed off rummaging the kitchen trying to find any spicy canned food while Beel clapped excitedly. He couldn't believe that Hilda doubted his skill, it was almost as if she thought she is a better cook than him. As if, if the cooking-kidnapping for Furuichi last week had anything to go by, he definitely is the better cook. He's God gifted in culinary skills after all, he thought as he trying to search for the can opener to open the tuna can. "Beel, you're okay with tuna sandwich for now? We'll get those delish bar tomorrow." Beel pouted but then nodded reluctantly because a man needs to accept any food to grow stronger, he heard it from his mother yesterday when he sulked about the delish bar.
"Where would the eggs be? Have you seen it Beel?" Beel shook his head and continued to play with a whisk that Oga had found a while ago. On the other hand, Oga continued to rummage the kitchen to find things but as time passed it looked more like he was throwing things around everywhere. He even tossed the garbage bin, thankfully it didn't hit Beel's head, but the baby managed to grab a delish bar wrapper from the flying garbage bin. Beel then gurgled happily when he saw a familiar face entering the kitchen.
Surprise was written all over his face as he spun to face his very angry sister. Why does every woman in his life is annoyingly loud and crazy?, he thought as he paused his egg search that looked more like a robber attempt. "What the hell are you doing? Hilda-chan was awake all night cleaning the house and you did this?!"
"She was awake all night because of that? And aren't you supposed to be at work or something?"
"I ask you, what are you doing dumbass? Did you turn deaf, huh, huuuh, HUUUUH?!" Misaki was now jabbing his precious chef's hat.
"DON'T TOUCH MY HAT! I'M NOT DEAF YOU CRAZY WOMAN!"
"…wait, you're wearing that stupid chef's outfit and you're in the kitchen…don't tell me that-OH MY GOD TATSUMI YOU'RE MAKING HILDA-CHAN A BREAKFAST?!" She was clutching her stomach because she laughed so hard. If she could understand what Beel was saying she would find out that it's a breakfast in bed. Unfortunately as she could not, it sounded more like adah-dah-weh-buh-da instead. But Oga that fully understood Beel's baby talk glared at him. "I'm not making her breakfast, I'm making the breakfast. Pssh can't you tell the difference?" Oga shrugged as he continued his search of the eggs. "Aww, Tatsumi, that's so sweet of you. Wait till I tell Mom and Dad that you're sdfghjpfffft COOKING HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME USING MY GOD GIFTED SKILLS EVEN IF I LOOK LIKE THIS?! GO AWAY!"
"Easy, easy, I just came home to drop this since I thought Hilda-chan would be the one cooking." Misaki handed him a paper bag and he snatched it right away. When he opened it, a whiff of delicious scent entered his nose and clearly Beel's too since he looked ecstatic. "Meat bun?" She stifled a laugh, good God, Tatsumi in a kitchen with ridiculous outfit trying to make a breakfast for a woman nonetheless, that was still funny no matter what his excuses were. "It's her favourite flavour, spicy hanabero. Oh yeah, where's Hilda-chan anyway?"
"She's sleeping." It was only a simple answer, and Oga even had the nerve to answer with a deadpan face but Misaki knew. He's her little brother afterall. She sighed loudly while making her way out to the door. "It's nice to be in love, afterall." Oga followed her and shouted "I TOLD YOU IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Why had he stuck with such a stupid sister he didn't know, but at least it sparred him from finding the eggs. Those goddamn eggs. And he needed to remember to clean up the mess after this. This had turn out to be more troublesome than he thought it would be. And fuck his life, he supposed to be lying on the floor all day long playing Dragon Quest not making a demonic bitch breakfast. Making the breakfast, he corrected himself.
Oga took the coffee table from the living room and arranged the plates on it. Shit, he thought to himself, he still couldn't believe he actually was doing this. Of course he was God-gifted in cooking, but to actually do this serving it on bed even, why had he even suggested it in the first place? He was pretty sure that Hilda had this special demonic power making him do things he didn't really want to. "Beel, don't ever suggest to anyone that you'll be making breakfast. In bed. Ever." Beel nodded, saying ai as he peered over Oga's shoulder to look at the plates he arranged seconds ago. There were meat buns that Misaki bought, burnt toasts with a hint of strawberry jam, three tuna sandwiches – he put wasabi and extra peppers in Hilda's, and two glasses of orange juice – Hilda loves tea, but it was too troublesome to make so he settled for the orange juice instead.
"Sorry buddy, you need to wait until she wakes up for your milk." Beel dabuh-ed him, saying that he was okay for now. He brought the coffee table to the stairs and realized that it was too big and he moved sideways to be able to bring it upstairs. "Oh fuck this, I'm never making breakfast again ever." He kicked open the door of his room and found Hilda sleeping soundlessly on his bed. Her blonde locks splayed on his pillow and the sun lights from his open window illuminated her hair; it looks like gold strings, he silently thought. It was like a déjà vu for a moment he thought, releasing a breath he didn't know he held, this was something he used to seeing in movie. He looked over to Beel and saw that he was entranced as well, he unknowingly smirked at the thought.
"Wake her up, she's going to kill me if I do it." Oga put the coffee table on the bed, trapping her under it and took a seat at the corner of the bed. His hand was so close to her hair that he had a crazy impulse to touch it because it looked so vividly golden like the wrapper of his favourite chocolate coin but he remembered that this is Hilda and he is Oga Tatsumi and he would never do that. Besides, he could buy the chocolate coin later if he wanted to touch gold so much but he wouldn't be able to stay alive if he touched this gold. Beel crawled from his lap towards Hilda, and whispered a soft adah while patting her face with his little hands.
Hilda jolted awake from her sleep just from the simple touch and smiled as she saw Beel's face, curling her finger against his tiny fingers. "Hey." Oga greeted simply, (it sounded softer than what he intended in his head) making her turned to the side. She frowned at the huge coffee table trapping her before remembering the event earlier this morning. "I thought it was only a nightmare. Coffee table, really Oga? There is something the human call 'tray'." Oga smirked, pushing her a bit to the left so that he could sit more comfortably. "Look who's back Beel. I thought Hilda had disappeared this morning."
"Breakfast?" Hilda questioned looking at the pretty badly burnt toast. "Oh, what give it away?" She glared at him though a part of her glad that he finally understand what rhetorical means and nudged his rib with her elbow. "FUCK, THAT HURTS! Your elbow it's like a sharp razor or something." He pushed her more to the left to take up more space and straightened his legs under the table. "See how awesome this is, it's like kotatsu on bed." Beel clapped happily, agreeing to his father's statement while Hilda on the other hand rolled her eyes and tied her hair up in a messy bun.
"Stop staring, it's terrible I know, but it's easier to eat this way." Hilda's stern warning made him clear his throat. He was not staring, he was only observing, what was wrong with this woman, he thought.
"This is like something from movies." He absentmindedly told her as he grabbed the sandwich, because he was just the type to tell her anything even little insignificant things like this.
"What are you talking about fool?"
"Me. Breakfast. Bed. You waking up. It's like movie." He conveniently left out the part of her golden hair because he didn't really know how to word it either. Hilda turned to look at him and noticed that he was so close, so so close and she needed to suppress a grin from breaking out. Beel was playing with his toys on the floor letting his mother and father reconcile whatever they were fighting this morning.
"You mean like soap dramas. Maybe you can admit that you actually watch it too."
"Hah, as if I would watch those shitty soaps you, Mom and sis are watching, pffft, no way."
"Who do you think Roberto should end up with?"
"Norma." Oga paused and widened his eyes as he realized what he was saying and saw Hilda cocking her eyebrows while doing that stupid smirk. That stupid smirk that he always subconsciously thought as hot and demonic and crazy and scary and hot all at once.
"JUST SHUT UP AND EAT! I EVEN MAKE YOU A BREAKFAST IN BED!"
"Such a pathetic foolish wuss, just admit that you watch it too. And I recalled doing my fair share of breakfast in bed as well."
"FOR BABY BEEL!" Oh fuck, he didn't want to think how that sounded like because she was still doing that stupid smirk with that unbelievably stupid messy golden hair bun.
"Of course it's for master, you damn fool! Can't you get that through that thick head of yours that he's the center of my world?" Hilda motioned a clap towards Beel making him crawl to the bed. Oga picked him up and handed him over to Hilda. Hilda then feed bits of the tuna sandwich to Beel.
"Anyway, go take a bath or something after this. You started to smell like me."
"Wow, sewer rat, now you wanted to admit that you smelled bad. First the soap, now this?"
"Bitch, I didn't say anything about smelling bad, I said you smelled like me. Turning deaf?"
"Now it would do some good to actually wash your bed sheet doesn't it?"
"I've cooked the fucking breakfast. Ugh, shouldn't that be enough already?!" He felt an oncoming headache as he remembered all the hardships he went through to prepare the breakfast.
"You call this cooking?" Hilda grabbed the burnt toast to emphasize her point.
"Better than your version of cooking anyway." Oga grudgingly took the burnt toast from her hand and literally shoved it down his throat. Hilda looked at him and sighed as she chugged down the remaining of her orange juice. Oga reflexively jerked away from her because he thought that she would hit him after that comment, but Hilda only continued to finish the deadly spicy meat bun and muttered a soft almost affectionate "you damn fool" under her breath. He thought that he saw a small smile and snickered to himself. This was pretty stupid, it was only 10 in the morning but they had been what; 10 arguments already? This was ridiculous even in all their ridiculousness.
It would be a lie if Hilda said she wasn't impressed by this coffee table showmanship (though it was ridiculous in a way only Oga could be), she had actually thought he would serve a canned food and bring along a can opener with him. "What kept you up last night, anyway? Sis said that you cleaned the house." Hilda froze for a moment, her face turned serious all of a sudden. "I didn't get to watch who Roberto ended up with because we went for grocery shopping yesterday. And Mother and Misaki-san kept dropping hints here and there."
"…and?" He encouraged her to go on. He still didn't understand what was the connection between Roberto and her not sleeping but he nodded for the sake of nodding because he didn't want to show her how idiotic he is.
Her eyes widened looking almost maniacal. "So, I cleaned the house and did some chores here and there until 5 a.m."
Still nodding with closed eyes and arms crossing, Oga again encouraged her to go on, "…why?"
"The rerun of the show is at 5 and I'm afraid that I would oversleep." The whole world ceased to move for a while. Even Beel stopped playing with the food. Oga then smacked his head to the coffee table repeatedly.
"…you owe me 100 gold chocolate coins woman."
I love how ridiculous they are.