"1,000 hits to the head."


All the things that's made Sam Winchester the way he his...

WARNINGS: SPOILERS for the Season 8 premier.. Foul Language (I'll try to keep it "T" Rated.).. Mentions of nonconsensual sexual acts (Sam's time in The Cage.) (Nothing that wouldn't be able to air in the show itself) .. HelLucifernations (Sam's hallucinations of Hell and Lucifer).. Mentions of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as well as various physical, mental, emotional and spiritual deficiencies, defects and disabilities due to long standing spinal, head, brain, emotional, mental and spiritual traumas and injuries. Mentions of addiction and withdrawl...Also WARNINGS: For any other stuff I may have left out that might offend anyone.

DISCLAIMER: I've wished that I owned the rights to the Supernatural Series and characters several times.. Wish still not granted! (Maybe I'll get the rights for Christmas?) I'd love.. LOVE to write for the Supernatural Series for real and have SOME OF MY IDEAS AIRED! (Wish still not granted there either!.. Oh well. :'-( All I can do is pout!)


"Why are you always the freakin damsel in distress!" Dean grunted as he tried to drag an unconscious Sam away from the cemetery where he'd just layed his millionth vengeful spirit to rest. To bad Sam had gotten thrown ten feet and he'd hit his head on a tombstone which knocked out his lights or this would have been his nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred ninety third vengeful spirit to lay to rest.

"Oh well Sam, you'll catch up to me sometime." Dean joked under his breath as he made a mental note to get Sam's goat later for having wound up hurt on the job again.

"Serves you right for taking a year off." Dean said louder in a tone of sudden bitterness hoping his unconscious little brother would hear. He hated the fact that Sam had just "Gone on.", "Lived his life as best as possible." and that Sam had just left all of his responsibilities by the way side to tuck tail, run and chase after the "apple pie life" he'd sworn he was done wanting years ago, meaning that within the span of a year Sam had "gone soft", had forgotten how to do the job and now it was like when Dean had first gotten Sam from Stanford all over again..

Kevin came rushing over when he saw Dean dragging the unconscious Sam towards where he'd been posted as a lookout. "What the hell happened? I thought you said this would be an easy job!" Kevin exclaimed.

"Well Sam's been out of practice for a while." Dean replied grumpily.

"He doesn't look so good. I think we should get him to a hospital." Said Kevin in a worried tone.

"Sam's just got a concussion. It's nothing I haven't dealt with before." Dean stated sounding annoyed.

"You mean to say that you've both let head injuries go unchecked?" Kevin asked shrilly.

"Dude it's honestly no big deal, our dad taught us how to handle all sorts of injuries. Trust me kid a little knock to the head's nothing compaired to most of the stuff we've had to learn how to patch up ourselves over the years." Dean said in a cocky tone.

"But that's not a "little" knock to the head Dean, half of Sam's forhead is starting to bulge to the side!" Kevin shouted.

"Head wounds always look worse than they are. In fact I'd be more worried if there wasn't a mark on him." Dean said reassuringly.

Kevin looked like his concerns being brushed off made him feel indignant but he shrugged saying "I hope you're right." before he helped take Sam's weight.

Once they made it to the Impala Dean unceremoniously shoved Sam's unconscious, lanky form into the back seat as Kevin took Sam's usual seat. Then Dean started the car and pointed her nose back towards their motel where a nice hot shower beckoned to him.

When they pulled up to their motel room Dean got out and went to try and wake Sam.

"Okay I let you stay passed out long enough." Dean said as he nudged Sam.

Sam opened his eyes a fraction and groaned in pained annoyance as he tried to sit up.

"Either wait till you get inside the room to pass back out or I'm letting you sleep outside." Dean stated sounding half amused and half angry.

Sam managed to sit up, get out of the car, stumble to the room and he made it all the way to his bed before collapsing.

"Sam, you really shouldn't sleep so soon after a head injury." Kevin stated worriedly.

"He knows." Dean grumbled as he made his way to the bathroom. "Don't ya Sam."

"No sleeping for at least an hour. Yes I know." Sam replied irritably from his bed. "Don't think that it counts anymore though especially after I already spent twenty minutes passed out."

"Not my fault your lazy ass wouldn't wake up sooner." Dean huffed.

"Never said it was." Sam growled.

"Are you two seriously gonna start fighting again?" Kevin asked trepidasiously.

"Trust me this isn't a fight." Sam said with a bitter scoff.

"Well the two of you aren't exactly getting along either." Kevin said scoldingly.

"Well sorry we aren't holding hands and singing "Kumbaia" Kevin. Cause I have every right to be pissed off at Sam for the fact that he ONE: Left you high and dry, in fact I don't know why you're NOT pissed off at him., TWO: Didn't even attempt to look for me, for AN ENTIRE YEAR! And THREE: Just gave up on hunting and on all his responsibilities to go run off with some girl." Dean said seethingly.

"Yeah and I have every right to be pissed off at Dean for being mad over the fact that I didn't look for him cause I thought he was dead and I knew there was no way to bring him back.."

"Bet you just LOVED that! Huh Sam?!" Dean interupted with a growl. "Bet you just couldn't wait to go nuts with your new found freedom!"

"You have no idea what you're talking about so you need to just shut up NOW Dean!" Sam snarled in warning as he came to a stand and took a few steps towards Dean.

"No Sam, I get it I do. I was gone so you didn't have anyone left to treat you like luggage anymore!" Dean retorted having thrown words from years past in Sam's face. "There was no one left to DRAG you, make you go anywhere. I bet you were fickin thrilled!"

"I thought YOU WERE DEAD and that there was NOTHING I COULD DO!" Sam bellowed, stepping in even closer.

Kevin fidgeted nervously as he tried to edge up to the brothers so that he might have a chance to de-escalate the mess he felt responsible for starting.

Sam instinctively backed away from Kevin's approach and turned away from the argument as Dean in his rage moved forward.

"Don't you dare turn away from me Sam!" Dean snarled sounding eerily reminiscent of his father.

Sam didn't turn back around. He merely hung his head and said calmly "I don't want to fight..."

"Right cause you never wanted to fight, huh Sam?!" Dean cut in angrily. "That's what led you to walking away from your family like we didn't matter the first time and that's what made you walk away when you found yourself finally free. It's good to know that your damned need for the apple pie life meant more to you than your responsibilities and GREAT TO KNOW that it meant more to you than your own family!"

Sam spun around and charged at Dean, going chest to chest with his brother and growled "You really just can't get it, can you?!"

"What's to get? It's obvious you don't give a DAMN ABOUT ME!" Dean bellowed.

"Coming from the person who puts hunting on the the top of his list of things to care about!" Sam retorted.

"Oh god don't you dare start with that crap!" Dean exclaimed sounding annoyed.

"What? Can't stand when someone brings up the fact that NOTHING is more important to you than hunting, not EVEN your own family?" Sam said mockingly.

"I hunt because of our family , I do it FOR THEM!" Dean shouted.

"Yeah cause that'll bring them back.. Oh wait no it won't and all it's gonna do for me is either get me killed or make me watch you die again!" Sam snarled.

Dean shoved Sam back, looking menacing and predatory as he clenched his hands into tight fists and shaking with rage as he roared. "You goddamned bastard! How dare you talk about our family! How DARE YOU talk ABOUT ANY OF THEM!"

Kevin tried to intervine again, going for Sam the USUALLY more level headed of the brothers and tried to nudge him away from Dean, as Sam was now chestto chest with his brother again. Sam allowed Kevin to guide him back a fraction, then he turned away on his own which ignited Dean's fury even more as he grabbbed Sam and spun him around to yell in his face "I said DON'T you DARE TURN AWAY FROM ME!"

Sam had, had enough of his buttons pushed, but he wasn't like Dean, he rather fight with words than with fists and like their father before them he really knew how to push Dean's buttons and he drove home his last hit with two simple words said in such a cocky, nonchalant tone of defiance that had, had his father ready to throttle him on more than one occasion and it looked like the words, the tone and the outright show of defiance had the exact same effect on Dean. But now there was no one to protect Sam from a fury he'd never experienced as the only person who'd be brave enough to pull two pissed off Winchesters apart and place him self in the line of fire to protect Sam was now the one who was beating Sam senseless after Sam had cockily challenged Dean, their father and their lives with a defiant tone in his barked out in mock military fashion "Yes Sir!"

Kevin had been to terrified to even approach Dean after the argument Sam had escalated enough to make Dean start looking like every creature in Purgatory's worst nightmare. But now Kevin had no choice because if he didn't intervine then Dean might kill his own brother.

Once Kevin had managed to pull Dean away Sam layed sprawled out on the motel room carpet, Sam was barely conscious but he was still able to drag himself up to a shaky stand as Dean paced like a lion in a cage.

Sam let out a shaky sigh as he tried to make ammends but his attempt at an apology was cut of as Dean whipped around on him and went flying off the handle the second Sam uttered a sound and snapped "Stuff it Sam. Go run off to the apple pie life that's always mattered more than your family. No one's gonna hold you back or drag you around anymore. Go on go back to your girlfriend.. Unless she's dead like everyone else who's life you've ended simply by just existing."

Even Kevin knew that was a pathetically low, LOW blow as it made Sam responsible for every death that had ever happened to anyone he'd ever known from the time he was born, including his mother, his girlfriend his father and Dean along with his other brother Adam as well as Bobby, Rufus, Ellen, Jo and several other good friends and extended members of his family that had died along the way.

Sam's face fell and his eyes started tearing, making Dean pale as he realised he'd gone to far. "Did she die Sam?" Dean asked in a horrified whisper that was thick with compassion, concern and regret.

Sam didn't hear his brother's concerned, apologetic tone as he sobbed out in fury "Just forget that we were ever brothers, cause I'm so sick of never being what you want. I'm done trying to be a part of your family! I am sorry I murdered your parents, friends and robbed you of your childhood before killing you several times as well though. Maybe your father should have just let me die in the fire or at least killed me when he realised what I was, then none of this would've ever happened!"

Dean wanted to try to take back all the hurtful things he'd said and done but he knew there was nothing he could say or do to undo the damage he'd inflicted. All Dean could do was stand there unable to move or speak as Sam stormed out and Kevin chased after him.

Suddenly Dean realised that Sam wasn't the only one who'd been out of practice for a while...


A/N: Well?.. Please review and tell me what you think! And YES there will be more! I'm also working on getting the next chapters to several other stories posted, but this was begging to be written!