"Poison-Kissed Spider"

Chapter 1: "That Girl Is Poison"

Disclaimer: Spider-Man and all related and associated characters and properties belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. Final Fight and Street Fighter belong to Capcom. I have no association with either company that would enable me to make any profit from this story and I am writing this mostly for my own – and The Amazing Shrinking Violet's – perverse amusement.

Author's note: This is going to be my birthday present to my good friend The Amazing Shrinking Violet. It's a one-shot ero-fic for Marvel vs. Capcom, pairing Spider-Man with Poison from Final Fight, which has been integrated into the Street Fighter canon. For those having questions related to Poison's anatomy, I'm just gonna come out and say it: She's a futanari (Japanese for "dual-form") here, just because that's the way we like it and it's more fun that way.

As for the actual story, Poison's part is based on her appearance in Street Fighter X Tekken. Spider-Man's part is set between his two "event" storylines "Spider-Island" and "Ends of the Earth," so he and Carlie Cooper, for those of you aggravated by her existence, are not romantically involved anymore. On the rest, you'll just have to read and see, so let's start spinning some webs!

Inside a rather well-polished apartment complex, a woman with a wild mane of hot pink hair lounged on a couch, watching trashy daytime television. Her garb was little more than a pair of unzipped hot pants and a tiny tank top that bared her very firm abs. "This is so fucking boring," she groaned.

This woman was Poison, a former member of the Mad Gear Gang that had terrorized Metro City before being soundly routed by Metro City's ex-wrestler mayor Mike Haggar and Haggar's daughter's fiancé Cody Travers, along with Cody's best friend Guy. That had been the start of things getting much worse for her, starting with her blooming obsession with Cody that had led her to go along with Edi E's plot to frame him for revenge, hoping that she would be able to seduce him into being a real criminal. In an ironic sense, he'd become exactly that thanks to her, a bloodthirsty brawler who cared for nothing but a good fight . . . and due to her part in that, he'd never love her.

More than anything else, that had been what persuaded her to quit the Mad Gear Gang and try to strike it big legitimately. After all, the media loved a good redemption story just as much as it loved a good fall-from-grace story. Alas, it was surprisingly hard to stir up enough notoriety to get the media's attention, which wasn't just for her, but for her one friend Hugo Andore, a giant of a man whose wrestling career she presently managed.

Flipping channels out of boredom, Poison stumbled onto Daily Bugle Communications, where Mayor J. Jonah Jameson, former publisher of The Daily Bugle, was speaking out about Spider-Man. "It is at this point that I am compelled to confess that were it not for the actions and bravery of Spider-Man, our city would have been truly lost," he declared, his tone reverberating with reluctance. "As such, I call upon him tomorrow at one in the afternoon, if he is within the sound of my voice, to come to City Hall to receive a special medal in his honor, a small tribute to his unwavering valor and determination to protect our city. Spider-Man, on behalf of the people of New York, I thank you."

That was where the speech ended, and Jameson was bombarded by questions from the media. "Is this sincere, Mr. Mayor, or is this yet another ploy to get the better of Spider-Man, a man you yourself have continually maligned in your time as publisher of The Daily Bugle and have shown no shortage of antipathy for throughout the years he has protected this city?" one journalist asked.

"I don't believe in setting traps like some shyster," Jameson replied. "This is the real deal, and I expect you to be there, wall-crawler!"

Poison let out a laugh. "Huh?" Hugo wondered, coming in from the kitchen, where he'd been preparing a huge sandwich. "What's this about, Poison?"

"It's perfect, Hugo!" Poison exclaimed. "Our ticket to stardom! Spider-Man!"

"He's a superhero, right?" Hugo wondered bewilderedly. "Little guy, spins big webs, catches thieves like flies? That Spider-Man?"

"Oh, yes!" Poison responded, still excited. "All we have to do is come to City Hall at one in the afternoon tomorrow and call him out for a big showdown! Imagine the press we'll get for taking a superhero into the ring!"

"You sure about this, Poison?" Hugo asked. "What if he doesn't go for it?"

"Oh, he'll go for it," Poison replied confidently. "Particularly when we tell him what he has to lose if he doesn't!"

"And what does he have to lose?" Hugo wondered. "His face? Like a luchador?"

Poison let out a wicked chortle. "You just leave that to me, Hugo!"

One in the afternoon the next day could not come quickly enough. Spider-Man's less famous alter ego, Horizon Labs' hotshot scientist Peter Parker, was busy tinkering with his tech, specifically the web-shooters, finding ways to improve them. He'd finally worked up the nerve to dig up Ben Reilly's web-shooters, looking to them for some inspiration on how to improve his own web-shooters. Rotating several cartridges on a cylindrical brace would mean that he wouldn't have to reload as often, just for starters. Reworking the shooters to respond to muscle tension in his wrists to activate specific functions when he pressed the triggers in his palms was another good idea.

Impact webbing was likely the best idea his erstwhile replacement as Spider-Man had ever had, condensing webbing into a tiny sphere that would explode into a sticky binding mass on contact with the target. Second best idea was the stingers, tipped in paralytic neurotoxin that would quickly wear off but last long enough to subdue the target. Of course, that could be improved on, and Peter's improvement to the stingers would be composing them out of anti-metal, all the better to pierce through armor. He was also making adamantium variants, to bypass the superhuman durability of certain opponents.

Peter spared a look at his clock, and saw the time. "Damn. Might as well get it over with."

Frankly, he wasn't looking forward to going to City Hall. Being in-laws with Jameson was bad enough. Having to get a medal from a guy who'd made it very clear that he still despised him and wouldn't be changing his mind anytime soon would be doubly aggravating. All the same, he wasn't going to give Jameson yet another opportunity to castigate him in the press.

As such, he opened the locker that was keyed to only accept his DNA as the key, revealing his Spider-Man costume. While he wasn't a full-time member of the Future Foundation anymore thanks to the return of Johnny Storm, the Human Torch and thus the recompletion of the Fantastic Four, he'd still gotten to keep the costume made of third-generation unstable molecules, a costume he'd seen fit to modify for his own use. As such, the costume incorporated the omni-harmonic, wave-bending mesh that he'd used for his stealth suit and spider silk-derived nano-mesh for lightweight armoring nonetheless many times stronger than Kevlar and easier to move in.

Quickly donning the costume, Peter made his retreat from Horizon Labs – the beauty of not having to punch a clock, he could come and go as he pleased with no one being any wiser – and swung off to City Hall, field-testing his modified web-shooters. For simplicity's sake, he used the unstable molecules' color-shifting ability to make the suit default to his usual colors and patterning. He didn't want Jameson to get confused and accuse him as some hooligan Spider-Man had sent to make a fool of him . . . not that it was very hard to make a fool out of someone who insisted on being as polemic and vitriolic as he was.

By the time one o'clock in the afternoon rolled around, Spider-Man was just swinging over City Hall, much to the applause of those who'd come to see it in person as opposed to on television. Showing off a bit for the crowd and to get on Jameson's nerves, Spider-Man did some acrobatic contortions as he landed on the stage, just a few feet away from Jameson himself.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Mayor," the web-slinger greeted him with good-humored sauciness.

Barely sparing a glare at Spider-Man, Mayor Jameson turned back to the crowd and reporters in front of him to state, "And now that he's here, I presume he needs no introduction. Our city's unofficial hero mascot, Spider-Man!"

Spider-Man could practically hear Jameson swallowing the bile as he spoke those words and it made him smile a little, seeing Jameson so uncomfortable and desperate not to show it. "Would you like to say a few words, Spider-Man?" Jameson inquired, the smile on his face far closer to being an angry grimace than any actual smile.

"Sure, why not?" Spider-Man graciously accepted and took the mike. "People of New York City, I humbly thank you for the recognition you have shown me today. Truly, it is an honor to have been a superhero for all these years in this city, the city of my birth, the city where I got these powers, and the city I hope to keep on defending in one way or another till my last breath. After all, you are my greatest responsibility and a responsibility I intend to uphold for as long as time permits."

"Ok, that's enough, I've got a medal to present to you!" Jameson cut in, taking a mahogany case with a silken interior from his aide Glory Grant. Turning back to Spider-Man, with the case now open to show a bronze medallion with an engraved spider resembling the one that rested on the web-slinger's chest, Jameson thrust the case forward. "On behalf of the people of New York City, I present Spider-Man with a special token of our appreciation, the Medal of Uncommon Valor!"

"Um, thank you," Spider-Man said, now well and truly embarrassed. Quickly recovering his wits, he decided to play it off to embarrass Jameson in turn. "It's . . . it's beautiful, J.J. I didn't even know you felt that way about me. I'll cherish this for the rest of my life." He carefully removed the medal from the case, as another mayoral aide helped him put it on.

Jameson let out a low distasteful growl. "Didn't do it for you, I did it for the people of New York," he muttered, soft enough for only Spider-Man to catch it. "They think you're a hero, and for all the little I still think of you, you've done more than your fair share for them. Might as well throw them a bone."

"There isn't some kind of tracer or camera or microphone in there, right?" Spider-Man whispered back. "I'd hate to think you were trying to spy on me."

"Done with that," Jameson muttered, trying his best not to flip out and show how offended he really was that Spider-Man would think him capable of such a thing or himself as having merited his attention in such a manner. "On my honor as a journalist and the mayor of this city."

"I believe you," Spider-Man answered, and then he and Jameson had to pose for the cameras, Jameson pretending to smile while wanting more than anything for this to be over with so he could go back to doing his job.

Just then, Spider-Man's spider-sense went off as he saw a truly large figure in magenta wrestling robes – Could give the Rhino a run for his money, he thought – carve a path through the crowd with his body alone, and resting on his shoulders was a scantily clad pink-haired woman who seemed to bask in the shocked and awed stares from the crowd. "Excuse me!" shouted the indignant Norah Winters. "What are you doing here?!"

"That's my question," Jameson muttered.

"Mine, too," Spider-Man agreed. "That's actually kind of scary. Being on the same page with you and all."

"You set this up, you wall-crawling punk!?" Jameson accused in a harsh whisper. "Thought you'd pull another one of your stunts!?"

"Hey, this is as much of a shock to me as it is to you!" Spider-Man retorted.

As he and Jameson bickered, the pink-haired woman jumped off her giant partner's shoulders and snatched the microphone from Norah. "Ladies and gentlemen, people of New York City, my name is Poison, and believe it or not, I am not a super-villain! I'm just a woman who wants to make a name, and I'm gonna make that name with the man of the hour himself, Spider-Man!" She gestured with a riding crop to the web-slinger, who had quite the befuddled expression behind his mask. "Remember your good old wrestling days, Spidey?" she teased him. "Well, you'd better refresh yourself quick, because you're gonna meet me and my pal Hugo at the old arena where you made your big debut tonight at nine sharp! Or else!"

"Or else what?" Spider-Man rejoined.

"Or else something you don't want people finding out about you . . . I'm gonna expose it all for everyone to see!" Poison threatened. "You think you can take that chance, Spidey?!"

"What the hell?!" Spider-Man exclaimed. Where did she come from? How did she figure out who I am? And how do I get her to keep her mouth shut before she ruins my life?!

Norah snatched back the microphone from Poison. "Well, this is quite the turn of events! The ex-crook from the Mad Gear Gang is here to make the big time and planning to do it on Spider-Man's back! What does Poison know about Spider-Man that nobody else does? Can we afford not to find out?"

"Oh, I know this city's been dying to know the truths behind that sexy webbed mask," Poison purred tantalizingly into the microphone she'd once again taken from Norah. "And trust me, people, it's going to be a showstopper!" She tossed the microphone back to Norah and jumped onto the giant man's shoulders. "Let's bounce, Hugo!"

"Yo!" Hugo shouted as he began to make a path through the crowd, while Jameson shouted for his security to catch him and Poison. That unfortunately turned out to be more difficult than either Jameson or the security staff had been willing to believe, as Hugo plowed through the security staff like a bowling ball through pins, Poison chortling like a madwoman as she hung on for the ride.

"Can't let them get away!" Spider-Man declared, as he leaped from the stage and began to bound after Hugo and Poison, catching up to them far more quickly than either had anticipated. However, Hugo's surprisingly quick reflexes had forced Spider-Man to stop in his tracks lest he get knocked into some innocent bystanders. "What the hell are you trying to pull?!"

"Just a woman looking to hit the big time," Poison replied airily. "I'm sure you can understand, right, Spidey? Finally getting that medal and all . . ."

"You don't get to make a joke of my life!" Spider-Man roared.

"You don't want me spilling my cookies . . ." and here, Poison leaned forward to give Spider-Man a very good look at her "cookies" through her tiny tank top. ". . . you play my way. Nine tonight, the arena where you made your big debut crushing Crusher Hogan. Is that so bad?"

Spider-Man snarled under his mask. "You have no idea . . ."

"Good, it's a date!" Poison squealed excitedly, as though she hadn't heard him at all. "See you at nine! We'll be broadcasting, too!"

Spider-Man was too stunned to give chase immediately, as the word "broadcasting" repeated itself in his head. There would be a television audience watching him fight Hugo, and if Poison was using the fight to stage a trap, they would also be watching him be exposed or even killed. And after all the trouble I went to so something like this would never happen again! Spider-Man thought despondently. Damn it all to hell!

Swinging back to Horizon Labs, Spider-Man slipped inside his lab for a quick change back to Peter Parker. Stuffing his costume back into his DNA-locked cabinet, Peter heard commotion outside the lab and took a peek. "Hey, what's going on?" he asked, though he suspected he knew what it was.

"Did you see the ceremony for Spider-Man?" one of his coworkers, Brady, asked excitedly. "This crazy chick crashed the ceremony and called him out for a wrestling match with this guy who looks like he could take the Rhino!"

"Brady, everyone can take the Rhino these days," Peter mocked. "But really? That actually happened?"

"You didn't see it?" Brady asked.

"I didn't see it," Peter replied. "I was busy in my lab."

"Man, you really missed a good show," Brady commented.

Going back inside his lab, Peter went to his computer and began to look up every last bit of information he could find on Poison. As he very quickly found out, she'd been part of the Mad Gear Gang back in the neighboring Metro City, which was in some ways more like New York State's version of Detroit or Chicago. The Mad Gear Gang was known for all sorts of drug trafficking, not to mention dealing in other kinds of contraband. At one point, they had even gone so far as to market an illegal performance enhancer called GLOW for the sake of spreading chaos and havoc throughout Metro City, that being where Poison had left the Mad Gear Gang and taken Hugo with her.

While reading up on Poison, he stumbled on the ongoing rumor that she was really transgendered, which he just shrugged at. Compared to the crazy mutations various super-villains – or even superheroes at times – would go through, changing sex was really no big deal. Still, Peter didn't have time to worry about Poison's gender when the much bigger problem was that she might know who he really was and be in a position to really screw up his life.

"Should I call the Avengers?" he asked himself out loud. He narrowed his eyes a second later. No. This is my problem. I shouldn't turn to the Avengers to solve all my problems for me. He caught sight of the clock. Almost nine o'clock. Time flies. Better get in gear and teach Poison a hard lesson in the dangers of messing with delicate things like a superhero's secret identity.

Changing into his costume, Peter slipped out of his lab and swung back to the arena where he'd first made his name, first become the amazing Spider-Man . . . and set into motion the events that would cost him his Uncle Ben's life and teach him a hard lesson about the dangers of dodging the responsibilities that came with power. As the memories surged through his brain, he swung faster and faster until he'd reached the arena in surprisingly record time, even for him. He landed in front of the entryway and walked inside, pushing down the apprehension brewing inside him at the memories this place stirred up.

Stepping into the arena, he could see Poison posing and pirouetting sexily for the cameras while hyping up Hugo's match with the web-slinger. Wait, cameras? Oh, I forgot; she's televising this for everyone to see. No, I didn't forget, I just didn't want to think about it. It's bad enough as it is.

He had to admit, the view of Poison undulating provocatively for the cameras, emphasizing the toned muscles and lissome curves of her body, was quite a nice one. "And it's our main event himself! Spider-Man!" Poison cheered, having noticed him come in. She looked up in the sound stage. "Did you guys get the music ready for him?!"

"Music?" Spider-Man asked.

"This is wrestling, Spidey!" Poison replied. "You need cool entrance music!"

Just then, music began to play. "This is my town . . . It's my town! It's my town! It's my town! This is my town . . ." The first verse started off with the vocalist rapping lyrics that Spider-Man couldn't exactly make out, nor did he care to try.

"Might as well play along," he muttered, and jumped into the ring with a series of acrobatic contortions while in midair. Poison licked her lips in delight from seeing Spider-Man move, especially for how she could see his tightly muscled body flex in his skintight costume.

"Nice show, Spidey!" she cheered. "Now let's bring out our champion, Hugo!"

Hugo charged into the ring like a freight train, his own entrance music playing as well, a heavy metal rhythm like something inexorably rising from the depths of hell. "Yo, Poison!" he shouted.

At that moment, a steel cage began to lower itself over the ring, its four walls closing in as it descended and fully enclosing the ring after completing its descent. "Magnetized adamantium!" Poison gloated. "All the better to keep you from skittering away so easily, Spidey!"

"I should have known this was gonna get complicated," Spider-Man muttered to himself.

"All right, Hugo, how about you turn Spider-Man into Spider-Paste!?" Poison made her instructions very clear, and Hugo obeyed, charging the web-slinger only for him to barely dodge by leaping over the giant wrestler's shoulders and barrel-rolling to the ground. Hugo skidded as he tried to force himself to a stop, but Spider-Man was on him with a drop-kick that knocked him into the cage bars. He bounced off Hugo's back and landed on the cage ceiling, crouching upside down.

"This show's getting exciting!" Poison shouted. "Spider-Man's gotten his first licks in, but he's not gonna have it so easy for long! Hugo's not even warmed up yet!"

Hugo roared angrily at the ceiling-mounted Spider-Man. "Get down here! Fight like a man!"

"Can I convince you to come up and fight like a spider?" the web-slinger taunted.

With an angry roar, Hugo jumped up at Spider-Man, with Spider-Man darting off the ceiling to move past him . . . only for Hugo to surprise the web-slinger with his reflexes again and catch him by the midriff in an arm bar before slamming him into the cage wall on his descent. "Don't mock me!" Hugo yelled.

"Tougher than I expected," Spider-Man mumbled. "That's nice. I like a good surprise. See how you like this one!" He pushed against Hugo's arm with such force that he nearly dislocated it once he freed himself of the giant's arm bar and then held onto it while flipping into the air. With a lithe twist of his body, Spider-Man whirled around and grabbed Hugo's arm with his legs, leveraging it into tossing him into the other side of the cage while using the momentum to flip back into a crouch.

Hugo smacked hard against the cage wall, but quickly recovered and spun to challenge Spider-Man again. Spider-Man fired twin web-lines on either side of Hugo, striking the cage bars, and then pulled back on them. Not wanting to wait for what Spider-Man was going to do, Hugo charged the web-slinger, only for him to let go of his web-lines and fly at Hugo like a slingshot, crashing against him with such force that they both bounced off the cage wall. Not one to waste a good opportunity, Spider-Man started literally bouncing off the cage walls, ceiling, and ring floor, striking Hugo with each pass until Hugo was down on the ground and Spider-Man was standing over his prone frame.

"He truly is amazing!" Poison exclaimed excitedly. "The speed! The agility! The power! Come to mama, Spidey!"

"Enough with the games!" Spider-Man yelled. "Let me out of this cage now!"

"Oh, Spider-Man," Poison teased. "Don't you know it's not over until the ten-count? And I haven't even gotten to five!"

Spider-Man looked around, and there was indeed a timer counting down from ten. He just had to hope he'd beaten Hugo badly enough that he wouldn't get up before the timer reached zero. Then he'd be free of this mess, and free of this crazy woman and her giant of a sidekick – he hoped. His enemies had a bad habit of obsessing over him and taking his defeats of them psychotically personally, after all.

Alas, just as the timer had gotten down to two, his spider-sense went off, just in time to barely back-flip over a charging Hugo. While inertia ensured that Hugo's charge kept going even in the absence of his target, Spider-Man shot off two more web-lines on either side of his opponent. He used the web-lines to slingshot himself feet-first into Hugo's back, knocking him into the cage bars again and bouncing off to land on the ring floor in a slight crouch.

Hugo impacted the floor hard, but quickly rose to his feet and charged Spider-Man again. "You just don't give up, do you?" the web-slinger remarked.

"Shut up! You make me angry!" Hugo roared indignantly as he caught Spider-Man in a crushing hold and then lunged into the air.

It's the piledriver, Spider-Man deduced. This . . . will be pain.

Indeed, the piledriver maneuver Hugo initiated was pain, just not the kind of pain either he or Spider-Man were anticipating. Spider-Man did manage to break out of Hugo's hold quickly enough to avoid being brutally slammed into the ring floor. However, he didn't do so quite fast enough to avoid having his ankle caught under Hugo's body when they landed. Hugo, despite not being the sharpest tool in the shed, quickly took advantage of his foe's predicament by grabbing his leg and rising for a brutal hammer throw. Spider-Man turned it around by somersaulting to regain control of his body and landing in a crouch on the cage wall.

"Beautiful, Hugo, beautiful!" Poison shouted. "Keep it going! You got him on the ropes! Oh, this is going to go down in history!" She let out an excited chortle.

"The only thing going down in history is him and you!" Spider-Man retorted.

"You don't talk to Poison like that!" Hugo snarled.

"Too bad!" Spider-Man snapped back, and lunged at Hugo for a knee strike that sent him crashing yet again into the far side of the cage. "If it wasn't for these bars being made of adamantium, I think we'd have broken them with all this fighting."

Hugo reeled against the cage bars he'd crashed into, but his anger would not allow him to give up despite the concussions he might have thanks to Spider-Man's strikes. He charged the web-slinger again, his fury channeled into shocking speed that nearly overwhelmed his foe by way of a brutal clothesline body slam. However, Spider-Man was far too tough to have been dealt with so easily and he trapped Hugo's arm in a hold that he started using to pull on said arm.

"You might as well give up," Spider-Man advised. "Otherwise . . . are you going to need that arm in the future?"

Hugo roared furiously and futilely tried to free his arm from Spider-Man's grip. Alas, Spider-Man was far too strong for Hugo to ever get his arm back unless the wall-crawler chose to let go of him. Getting desperate, Hugo swung at Spider-Man with his free arm, only for the web-slinger to roll out of the way while still holding onto Hugo's arm, causing it to painfully twist in Hugo's socket, eliciting a simultaneously pained and angry yell from the giant wrestler.

"It's only going to get worse from here!" Spider-Man warned. "And this is me still in a slightly decent mood!"

"Stop it!" Poison shouted. "Don't hurt him! You're supposed to be a superhero, right?! You don't hurt people for no reason!"

Spider-Man let out a ragged breath that was somewhere between a sarcastic chuckle and a bitter sigh. "Thanks for reminding me. I don't know how I could have forgotten." He let go of Hugo, but with a brutal toss to the ground. "Let me out of this damn cage, and it won't hurt too much for you."

The cage immediately began to lift up as its walls spread open, giving Spider-Man enough room to climb out of the wrestling ring. "Now spill. What the hell do you know about me and how did you find out?" he interrogated Poison, stalking toward her.

Poison bit her lip, looking for all the world like a schoolgirl in front of her crush or a deer in the headlights . . . or both. "I . . . don't actually know anything?"

"You're kidding, right?" Spider-Man uttered in stark skepticism.

"No, I'm not," Poison admitted, her voice trembling slightly. "I don't know what you look like when you're not in that sexy costume, I don't know what name you answer to that isn't some derivative of 'Spider-Man,' I don't know if the other Spider-People are your cousins or your siblings or your children or something, I don't even know when you became an Avenger or if you're still going out with that Black Cat! I just set this up because I wanted a big fight to put our names out there!"

Spider-Man stared starkly at Poison's slightly terrified and nervous confession, Poison terrified at what angry expression might be hiding behind his webbed mask and giant bug lenses. To her shock, and his own, Spider-Man began laughing almost insanely. "Now that's rich. That's just rich. You threatened to expose my secrets just to call me out for an impromptu wrestling match with your giant goon, and you never actually knew a damned thing! Were I not the nice guy that I usually am, I think I'd do something really crazy right about now."

"So . . . you're not going to hurt me?" Poison wondered.

"I'm a superhero, remember?" Spider-Man rejoined. "By the way, how are you broadcasting this?"

"Oh, I just had all the television frequencies in the city hacked and rerouted to these cameras here so everyone would have to watch you and Hugo going at it!" Poison explained, regaining some of her excitement now that she knew she wasn't going to be beaten into paste by Spider-Man.

"And how did you get around to doing something like that?" Spider-Man asked.

"I know some serious A/V geeks who owe me some favors," Poison replied. "Beyond that, a girl's gotta have some secrets."

"And so does a superhero," Spider-Man answered bluntly. "Besides, going around claiming you know who I really am? My enemies would stop at nothing to take you apart so they could find it out themselves, and when they find out you were just messing around, what do you think they'd do to you for 'making' them waste their time?"

"Why, Spidey, I didn't know you cared so much . . ." Poison purred coquettishly.

"I'm a superhero," Spider-Man rejoined. "I care about everyone. It's in the job description."

"You flirting with Poison?" Hugo asked curiously yet jealously.

"Uh, no," Spider-Man replied. "Anyway, I suppose you got what you wanted. This whole debacle will certainly get your names out there."

"Then I've got just one thing to say to you," Poison said.

"What?" Spider-Man wondered, only to be surprised when Poison tugged his mask up to the bridge of his nose and kissed him on the lips . . . with tongue!

"Thanks," she replied in a breathy voice once the kiss broke, licking away a faint trace of saliva. "I'll still remember you when I'm a star."

"Uh, sure . . ." Spider-Man responded, dazed and confused. How do I attract these women?

Endnotes: Might as well end it here, since I can't figure out where to go without abruptly moving the story forward in time. For the record, this is only the first chapter, though it will be the only chapter I post on FF because I don't want to run afoul of the administrators for posting explicit content. Granted, the recent push toward eliminating explicit sexual content from has died down due to certain key revelations about who was pushing for it in the first place, but I would rather not take my chances. Knowing how things tend to go, I've likely made a few enemies of my own that would love an excuse to pounce on me and see me exiled from FF. Thus, the concluding second chapter, which will have the Spider-Man/Poison lemony goodness, will be posted on a different site, likely AFF or Your Fanfiction.

In any event, I hope you enjoyed my strange idea for a Marvel/Capcom crossover pairing, and for the record, the song playing for Spidey's introduction was "My Town" by Hollywood Undead, which was also used for the Street Fighter X Tekken trailer featuring Poison and the other notables of the Final Fight crew. Also, there's a Ben Reilly reference if you can catch it.