THIS IS THE FIRST INSTALLMENT I WROTE in my many stories. However, chronologically it is not the first story. Christmas Eve The Big House 2011, is the first chronologically. Followed by, Ana and Christian's First New Year's Eve. This story, Fifty Shades Complete, is the first in the string of main stories. I am now writing part 5. I hope you like what you read. I love conversing with my readers via reviews and pm's. If you would like to follow me outside of fan fiction you can find me on twitter as newgirl3366. I post tidbits of what I'm writing there and fun little visuals I search as I write.
I do know that the punctuation in this story is not the best. I have grown as a writer in so many ways since I began this endeavor. Please bear with me as you read, join me on my journey as I go.
It is July and a raremidsummer afternoon rain is falling over the sound. I sit in my rocking chair slowing moving back and forth. Hearing only the patter of drops on the window, my own voice humming a lullaby and the soft grunts made by Teddy as he nurses at my breast. This is peace. This is tranquility. This is my own piece of heaven in my own home. Gazing out the large window I feel content. The gray clouds reflected in the water match the color of my son's eyes. At only 6 weeks old he already has the eyes of his father, but he is a perfect combination of us both. I feel the warmth of him against me and I can't help but let my mind drift back over the past year. So much has happened, so many unexpected things. All of which led up to this moment, in this house, in this nursery. Holding my baby in my arms I know I would not change a thing.
"Ana," Christian's voice calling wakes me from my thoughts. I shift my gaze upward to see him walking through the nursery room door. "It's almost time to get ready to go in to see Dr. Greene for your appointment." His voice is a deep soothing whisper.
I sigh; I wish I could spend all afternoon here with my baby. "I know," I smile up at him. "Will you change Ted and dress him for me while I dress?"
"Sure baby." Christian reaches down and caresses Teddy's soft cheek before lifting him from my arms. I readjust my pale blue night dress and stand to tie my robe by around me. Christian's long fingers stroke my cheek turning my face up to his. His lips gently graze mine. "I love you Mrs. Grey."
"I love you Christian," I breathe. "I'll go and have my shower and dress." "Ted and I will be waiting for you." He turns and walks to the changing table, softly speaking to our son as he lays him down and begins to change him. What have I done to deserve this beautiful man? So beautiful in every way.
I step out of the shower and reach for a fluffy towel. Drying myself I turn and stare at my reflection in the mirror. Staring back at me is the body of a woman, the body of a mother. I am not the same girl who fell into Christian's office. My eyes sweep down the length of my body observing my nakedness, there is nothing to hide. I skate my hands over my body gingerly. My breasts have swollen and the skin on my stomach is loose and creased from where I carried Ted. Hidden amongst that skin is the scar from my cesarean. I absent mindedly trace over it with my fingers. Christian assures me I am beautiful to him and that nothing has changed. Does he not see what I see? He never has I suppose. He sees me as beautiful and breath taking. I see my pale skin, my blue eyes too big for my face, my brown hair. There is nothing remarkable about me and now I see my body with these alterations from womanhood and motherhood.
I sight to myself as I finish drying before hanging my towel back on the hook. I pad quietly over to the closet in search of my clothes for the day. I settle on a deep red button down dress. The buttons run from the collar to the bottom hem which hangs just below my knees. This will be functional should I need to feed Ted while we are out today. I take my panties and nursing bra from my top drawer and slip them on first, then my dress before stepping into my flats. I am ready to head to my 6 week postpartum appointment with Dr. Greene.
Christian is waiting for me in the great room with Teddy tucked in his car seat carrier; a sage green receiving blanket is loosely covering his little legs. It is summer but the air is damp today.
"I'm all ready to go. You two ready?"
"Yes." He bends down and nuzzles my hair. "I can't wait for tonight Mrs. Grey." I smile shyly up at him. I know what he speaks of and I know he is dying to get the green light from Dr. Greene to touch me again.
As I refasten the last few top buttons of my dress Dr. Greene sits down with her notepad and pen. "You are healing well Mrs. Grey. Do you have any concerns or questions? How is breastfeeding going?" Stepping back into my shoes I sit down in the chair next to her.
"Breastfeeding is going very well. Teddy is a good little eater." An anxious smile spreads across my lips. I cannot help but smile when I talk about Ted. How can I tell her about my feelings of insecurity over my body? Should I even mention it to her?
Dr. Greene seems to sense immediately that I am holding something back from her. "Mrs. Grey that is good to hear. How are you doing though?" She emphasizes you.
I shift nervously in my chair. Out with it Ana, tell her how you feel. "I'm doing fine I guess. I'm…I'm just. Oh, I don't know. It's just that things are different now. I'm tired all the time with taking care of Ted and then having to recover from the surgery I just haven't felt like well, me for a long time it seems." There I've said it.
"Your body has been through many changes in the past eleven months Mrs. Grey. What you are feeling is quite normal. Please be sure to take time for yourself. Allow yourself time to adjust to life as a new mother. Give yourself the time you need to fully recover. Medically and physically speaking you are doing very well, but to be tired both physically and emotionally is normal. You need rest. Take care of yourself as well as Ted. You must remember to take care of you though. If you are tired take breaks and try to avoid stress. Stress can have adverse effects on your milk supply."
Time for me, yes I need that.
"As far as any physical activity goes I am giving you the all clear to resume your normal daily lifestyle," Dr. Greene smiles.
I blush, I am sure she is talking about sex. Knotting my fingers in my lap I look down at my hands. I pick at my nails while considering my next words. If I don't say anything to the doctor I will just continue to hold these emotions inside. Lifting my eyes to meet hers I decide to share my feelings. Ok here it goes… "I'm not sure I feel up to it though. Is that normal?"
She shocks me by leaning forward slightly and placing one of her hands over mine. Her eyes are full of understanding as she opens her mouth to speak. "Mrs. Grey it is perfectly normal to not feel ready for sexual activity yet. Do not feel the need to rush into anything. As I said before, give yourself time. Your body has been through many changes."
Relief washes through me and I am sure it is evident on my face. Her words and caring demeanor help to alleviate my fears and feelings of inadequacy. "Thank you Dr. Greene. I feel better hearing this. I also need to ask you about birth control. I would like to go back on the pill." Yes, I definitely need birth control, no more babies for a while.
"I can prescribe a pill which will be safe for you to take while you are breastfeeding."
She writes a script down for me and hands it to me. "Be sure to make your next annual appointment on your way out and call if have any questions or concerns."
"I will. Thank you." I take the script from her hand and reach down to gather my purse. Opening it I slip the piece of paper inside before exiting the exam room. I feel better having spoken with Dr. Greene about my concerns. I am not sure how I am going to broach the subject with Christian though. I love him and I know he loves me and wants to demonstrate that to me again, and soon. I am just not sure if I am ready.
Christian is sitting in the waiting room holding Ted in his arms talking to him in a hushed tone. At the sound of the closing door he looks up and grins at me.
"Ready for some lunch Mrs. Grey?"
Oh, we are going out? I had thought we would just go back home. "Sure."
Actually I am starving. I thought after having Ted my appetite would return to normal but the demands of nursing have made sure that didn't happen. Christian tucks Ted back in his carrier and picks him up with one hand while grasping one of my hands with the other and the three of us head out to the black Audi SUV. As we drive through Seattle I think of how peaceful and natural this seems; just the three of us, our little family unit, driving and going out for lunch. I can't help the smile that plays on my face. Christian seems to mirror my expression and feelings. He reaches over and squeezes my knee.
"How was your appointment?"
"It was fine. Dr. Greene told me I have recovered well and can resume regular activities. She also gave me a script for birth control pills."
His eyes dart to mine with concern. "Is that safe for Teddy?"
"Yes. She was sure to give me a prescription which is safe for breastfeeding mothers."
He relaxes, "Good. We can go get that filled after lunch."
He pulls up to a small sidewalk bistro and gets out of the vehicle coming around to my side to open my door. As I get out he reaches for Ted in the back.
"Leave his carrier, Christian. I will put on my wrap and wear him. I'm sure he's going to want to eat soon."
Once I have my wrap on Christian hands Ted to me and I adjust him so that he is snuggled against me. His little eyes are closed tightly. He must have fallen asleep in the car. Even amongst the sound of people talking and traffic passing by he never stirs. The rain has stopped and sun is beginning to peak through the clouds, it is slowly turning into a beautiful summer day. Christian wraps his arm around my waist and we walk in the bistro door.
We are seated in a small corner booth. The bistro is warm with rustic red walls and smart black furniture. A few large oil painting depicting European sidewalk cafés adorn the walls. The atmosphere is serene with soft music playing and a candle flickering in the petite frost glass lamp which sits on a black and white checkered linen table cloth. The waiter comes to take our drink orders.
"Sparkling water with a wedge of lemon for both of us please," says Christian, and the waiter disappears.
"What would you like to eat, Mrs. Grey?"
"I think I will have the warm summer pasta salad. The fresh vegetables in it sound delicious." I tell him glancing over the menu in my hands.
When the waiter returns Christian orders salmon with asparagus for himself and the pasta salad for me.
"I've missed this." I murmur to him while tracing small circles on the table with my finger nails.
"Missed what?" He asks cocking his head to one side, his gray eyes shining at me with love.
"Us being together, I've been so tired and busy with Ted. I've missed you." My words are the truth. I love my baby boy more than life itself but I have missed my husband. I have missed Christian and Ana.
"Me too." He takes my hands in his across the table, stilling my fingers, and strokes my knuckles with his fingers. "It is nice to be out together again Ana. Watching you with Ted, it makes me love you even more. More than I ever thought possible. I didn't know I could love you more than I already did but I do." His eyes are earnest; I know he is speaking from the depths of his soul. I feel tears prick the back of my eyes.
"Oh Christian, I feel the same every time I see you with him," my voice is almost a whisper.
Teddy begins to stir against me and his clear gray eyes open to gaze at my face. I hear him make a few grunts and I know he is hungry.
"I need to feed Ted. Will you hand me one of his blankets?" Christian reaches into the bag and hands me a green receiving blanket which I drape over my front.
"Here?" I can hear a twinge of panic in his voice.
"Christian he's hungry. I'm covered." I reason quietly with him. He takes a few moments to watch me meditatively, quietly considering the situation before he nods and smiles. I sigh inwardly; I was worried about how Christian would feel in regard to me nursing in public. I quickly unbutton my dress and my bra guiding Ted to my breast. He latches on and I marvel watching his tiny pink mouth enclose of my nipple as he begins to nurse contentedly. Christian is smiling adoringly at me when I look up at him.
The waiter returns with our lunch and my hunger is ravenous. Nursing Ted does that me, makes me hungry and thirsty. It is then I realize I have already drunk my entire glass of water. The water returns once more briefly to refill our glasses then disappears again. I can tell by his nervous glances and quick retreat that he is a bit uncomfortable with my nursing Ted. Let him be. Ted has a right to eat his lunch too.
Christian and I enjoy our meal and each other's company. My salad is mouthwatering with warm penne pasta coated in olive oil and fresh parmesan, tossed with fresh roasted vegetables. We talk about his work, going to visit his parents, and how things at Grey's Publishing are going in my absence. It feels good to have this casual time together. The fleeting thought of when I will go back to work crosses my mind but I decide not to bring it up. As much as I yearn to go back I am not sure if I am up to it yet.
Once we have finished our meal I take Ted to change him while Christian pays. When Ted and I return to the table we make our way back out to the SUV. Christian puts Ted in his seat while I open the passenger side door and get in. We are quiet on the way home, basking in the bliss of the day. I feel Christian's hand grasp mine. As he rubs his thumb to and fro over my knuckles that familiar but almost forgotten feeling resonates deep in my belly. Maybe it is the beautiful day we have shared as a family, or maybe it is just because it has been so long, but I become astutely aware of the recognizable intimate pull I feel. I gasp softly turning my eyes up to meet his smoldering gray gaze.
He lifts my hand to his lips and grazes it softly with kisses. "I love you, Mrs. Grey. I want you so much." His voice is deep, soft and full of promise.
I swallow and smile shyly at him. Looking ahead I continue to hold his hand the entire way home. I need this man like I need air to breathe.
Exhaustion from our busy day out sets in for the rest of the afternoon. This has been our first real day out since Ted's arrival. Christian has insisted that any visitors come to the house to see us instead of us going to see them. For the first few weeks after Ted's birth I was glad to stay at home but getting out today was a welcome change.
Once Ted is fed, has a fresh diaper on, and is swaddled I lay him down in his cherry oval bassinet. The bassinet was a gift from Grace and Carrick. Right away I loved the charming look of it. The sage green waffle canopy draping over the top is adorned with a simple white satin ribbon. The fabric continues are the bottom, creating a skirt around the oval shaped bed. In no time Ted's eyes close. No doubt he is tired from our busy morning too. Stretching I yawn and decide to climb into bed. Christian is down in his study working and nap sounds so good right now. My eyes grow heavy the moment my head hits the pillow and I fall into a deep dreamless sleep.
The feel of Christian's lips on my forehead stirs me from my slumber. "Hey sleepy head, are you going to wake up?"
"What time is it?" I ask rubbing my eyes against the late evening sun which is streaming through the window.
"It's nearly 6 o'clock. Mrs. Jones has dinner ready. Do you want me to bring it up to you or would like to eat downstairs?"
"I'll come down." I tell him covering my mouth as I yawn. "Let me feed Ted first."
"Okay baby, I'll be finishing up my work." He kisses my forehead once more before leaving.
Ted is already beginning to stir beside my bed. I reach for a diaper from under his bassinet and change him before settling back on the bed to nurse him. "There you go sweet boy, Mommy's got you." I soothe him while he makes fussy gurgling sounds. "You eat your dinner first baby then I will go have mine."
As Ted is finishing I hear a knock on the door. "Come in," I call.
Mrs. Jones walks into the room. "Mrs. Grey would you like for me to take Teddy so you can go eat your dinner?"
"Sure Gail. Thank you." She takes Teddy from my arms. "I'll be back to bathe him after I've eaten."
"Yes Ma'am." She smiles and turns to Teddy. "We are going to have playtime aren't we big boy?" Gail and Ted leave the room to go play in his nursery. I smile watching them, I am so happy my Teddy has a plethora of people in his life to love him.
I make my way downstairs to the kitchen where Christian is pouring himself a glass of wine at the island. "What would you like to drink Mrs. Grey?"
"Milk please." I would love to enjoy a glass of wine too I pout to myself. I know Christian would disapprove though so I say nothing. Dr. Greene has said that one every now and then is ok, but he will hear not hear of it.
We sit down at the circular kitchen table made from a subtle golden distressed wood, tucked in the corner of the room by the bay window. The bright summer sun illuminates the kitchen through the large window over the sink. I love this room; it is probably my favorite rooms in the house. The walls are simple and white as are the cabinets. The back splash is made from ceramic tiles. They are an earthy brown color mixed with delicate tans and shades of white. In the center of the room is a large square shaped island made of white wood but edged in the same distressed wood which the kitchen table is made of. On the back side of the island are four matching wooden spindle chairs. The counter tops and top of the island are a smooth slate stone colored in blues and grays. There is a large wood burning fireplace on the wall behind the island. A pronounced white mantle is above the fireplace, and the pepper pictures we bought on our honeymoon hanging above it.
Dinner is quiet with the exception of the birds singing outside. Mrs. Jones has opened the window and I hear their sweet songs as well as the window blowing in the trees. I enjoy my spaghetti carbonara and sautéed green beans fresh from the garden. Mrs. Jones has worked tirelessly in her garden all summer and the fruits of her labor are divine.
"Dinner was delicious," I say to Christian wiping my mouth. I didn't realize I was so hungry. I've actually finished my meal before him.
"Yes, Mrs. Jones has out done herself yet again." He agrees. "Ana I need to go to the office tomorrow. Ros and I have several meetings we need to attend. Would you like for my mom to come and help you with Ted?"
Christian has been mostly home with me since Ted was born. When he has gone to work he has never been gone a full day and Grace or Kate have been with me when he has not. I think I'm ready to be on my own though. My nerves got the better of me at first but then I was also recovering from surgery. Now that six weeks have passed, Ted I have begun to fall into our routine and I have a hard time remembering a time when he wasn't here with me.
"There's really no need Christian. Ted and I will be fine. Mrs. Jones is here to help me if I need her."
"I know baby, I just hate being away from you two. I miss you both when I am."
"We miss you too but we'll be fine I promise. I will call you if I need anything."
"Good." He flashes a beautiful smile at me and my heart almost skips a beat.
I scoot my chair back and stand taking the dishes to the sink. "I need to go and bathe Ted."
"I'll come and help you." I feel his arms around my waist and his lips in my hair. Turning to face him I look into his eyes and caress his cheek with my hand. His lips move down to mine and he kisses me. I can't help but move my hands to his tousled hair, tangling them in his locks, as he deepens the kiss. His hands move to the small of my back holding me to him and legs feel weak. A sudden burst of butterflies fills my stomach. I wish I could squash the anxiety I feel but it keeps making itself known.
When he breaks away I am breathless. "Come let's go bathe our son, Mrs. Grey. Then I can have you all to myself later." He takes my hand and together we walk up the staircase.
Christian is cooing softly to Teddy, kneeling beside me at the bathtub. His long white shirt sleeves are rolled up to his elbows while he is washes his son. What are usually strong hands soften as they touch and caress Teddy's legs, arms, and head. I adore watching him, the father of our child. He touches Teddy now with the same tender wonder as he did when he rubbed my pregnant belly not so long ago. My hand reflexively reaches down to touch my belly. Even though I know Teddy is here with us now I still wake sometimes and reach for my expectant belly. I miss feeling him move inside me. My thoughts wander to this morning in the bathroom and how I feel about the shape of my belly. I smile down at my son and move the unpleasant thoughts from my mind quickly. I do not want to taint this moment with melancholy.
"All done Ted, are you ready to dry off?" Christian reaches for the blue hooded towel hanging next to him and picks Teddy up wrapping him in its warmth.
"Are you coming Mommy?" He asks pulling me from my reverie.
"Right behind you Daddy," I reach down dumping the water from Teddy's tub and hang his wash cloth on the hook to dry.
Once Teddy is dressed Christian hands him to me. Taking my place in the rocking chair I allow him to nurse as I rock him to sleep. Christian sits on the floor at my feet watching me. He takes our sleeping son from my arms and tucks him in his crib. Before turning on his mobile and monitor he kisses him, and I hear him whisper, "Goodnight, sleep tight."
I yawn sleepily watching them.
"It's bedtime for you too Mrs. Grey," Christian gently places his arm around my waist and guides me down the hall to our room.
"Bath?" Christian asks as we enter our vast bedroom.
"Yes please. I need to go take my mini pill first, I'll be there soon." Opening my purse on the bedside table I take the packet out and reach for my glass of water from earlier. Taking my cell phone out I set the alarm to sound at 9pm every day. This will remind me not to miss a pill.
Walking in the bathroom I find Christian leaning over the enormous tub pouring in a scented soap. Jasmine, I recognize the scent so well. The bathroom is warm with steam and enveloped with fragrance. I drink in the sight of my husband dressed only in his jeans now. He walks over to me and wraps his arms around my body, his lips finding mine. My fingers trace the waist band of his low slung jeans, feeling the hint of his boxer briefs. I whimper as my body responds to his touch. His hands twist in my hair then move down tracing the contours of my face, arms, and breasts as he pulls my camisole over my head. My skin has become moist from the steam and heat grows between our bodies. He begins to leave soft kisses in the wake of where his hands have been. This is not the first time he has touched me since Ted was born, it is the first time for this intimate touch though. Oh…I need him.
Subtly he moves his strong hands south, skimming them over my belly, before sinking to his knees in front of me. Looking down I watch him wearily, knowing what his next gesture will be. I try to close my eyes and coach myself internally. He is my husband and he loves each and every part of me. He wants to be with me and I know he wants to inundate my body with his, kissing every inch of my skin to show his devotion and passion for me.
My fear and vanity take over though and the words are out of my mouth before I can process another thought. "Christian, no please," I shrink away from his touch at my stomach. I quickly reach my hands down to hide my body, embarrassed by what I have become there.
"Ana, what is it?" His voice is soft and laced with concern. Mystified gray eyes stare into my equally muddled blue.
"I just can't. Please not there." How can I make him understand how I feel?
"Have I hurt you? Please tell me what is wrong." He rises to his feet and strokes my cheek tenderly.
My bottom lip trembles and tears begin to well up in my eyes.
"Ana", he whispers my name and runs his thumb across my lip. "Please don't cry baby, tell me."
"I'm just not the same as I was, Christian. My belly looks hideous now, stretched and creased with the scar. It's just too much for me to bear, and I'm so tired, exhausted even. I'm not the same." Tears begin to flow as I finally find the courage to speak what has been in my mind for weeks.
"You are beautiful Ana, all of you, every part of you." He looks at me earnestly trying to convey his emotions to me with his words because I am denying him the ability to touch me.
I shake my head 'no' and my tears refuse to stop streaming down my cheeks. Silently Christian he enfolds me in his arms. Just holding me he begins swaying back and forth, soothing me.
"Bath?" he finally asks again.
I nod my head 'yes' and slipping off my sweat shorts I step in the bath. The hot water prickles my toes momentarily. I hear the rustling sound of Christian shedding his clothes behind me before he joins me. He sits across from me and takes my right foot in his hands. Slowly he begins a methodical process of deeply massaging my foot, shin, and calf before switching to my left leg. I know he is lost at my feelings but so am I. I can't find anymore words right now to express how I feel. We sit silently together in the bath for what seems like an eternity. Being with him like this helps, finally feeling that connection that has been suppressed for so long.
When I finally step out of the bath I wrap myself in one of the large towels hanging beside the shower. My eyes follow Christian in the mirror as he mimics my movements. Wrapping a towel around his was waist he then reaches for a smaller towel. He steps behind me and with deft fingers begins the tender task of towel drying my long chestnut hair.
"Please talk to me Ana. Tell me why you feel like this?" he pleads with his voice, his eyes transfixed on mine in the reflection.
Moving to face him I place my hands on his chest and sigh. "I feel overwhelmed Christian. So many things have happened; so many things have changed inside me, outside of me too. Sometimes I don't feel like the same girl I was before. The same girl you fell in love with."
"Things have changed Ana. We have grown together. I love you. You are a beautiful mother to Teddy. Being with you, having our family, it feels like more. All of the possibilities you had me dreaming of becoming my reality."
More, that word still holds so much promise when I hear his voice speak it. More, it was our beginning.
"Please Ana, let me love you." I hear his voice break on the last word. Bending down he kisses my lips tenderly, like a man who adores his wife.
"Yes," I breathe against his mouth.
"We'll take it slow. Anything you don't feel comfortable with tell me and I'll stop."
I nod slowly and he picks me up in his arms cradling me against him. His warm, strong, muscular chest, this is where I belong. This is where I want to be. My towel drops to the floor as he carries me from the bathroom. Still holding me he pulls the blankets and sheets open before laying me on our bed. Our room is bathed in darkness. Only the light peaking from our bathroom gives the room a dim glow.
"Slow and gentle my beautiful girl." He whispers to me while stroking my cheek tenderly.
I swallow suddenly and try to find my breath when the familiar burning feeling within my core begins to creep through my body. He climbs on the bed with me and straddles my body, careful not to put his weight on me.
"I'm going to show you what I love about you Ana. I want you to know how exquisite your body is."
"Okay…" My voice is breathless. My answer seems so trivial but it is all I can find to say.
His touch skates at an achingly slow pace down my neck but he holds my gaze with his own, his eyes refusing to break away from my own as he begins to speak.
"Please do not ever feel ashamed of your body Ana." I feel his strong hands move down and over my swollen breasts. "I love the changes here because they allow you to nourish our son, it is a miracle for me to behold."
I feel my nipples pucker under his skilled touch. He pauses to pay special attention to each one. I stiffen slightly, feeling how sensitive my body is.
"Slow and gentle baby…" He emphasizes to me again and continues fingering my skin, only adding slight pressure to his touch. My breath hitches and his hands travel south to my belly. "I love you here because this is where you carried our son as he grew inside you. I marvel at how strong you are. At how strong your body is, to do what it has done, create a new life. Thank you for giving me our son, Anastasia." He commandingly holds my gaze as he silently asks my permission before leaning down to press the lightest of kisses to my belly. A lone tear trickles down my cheek. His gestures and words are pure and tender. He raises his head to watch me once more. His fingers continue downward and I feel him there. He tests me with caresses before dipping a single digit inside of me. I hear his sharp intake of air.
"Is this okay Ana?" He questions me with a strained tone.
"Slow and gentle…" He repeats again, though I can sense his struggling sense of control. He adds one more finger to his placid ministrations. I feel my body building with each flick of his fingers and he allows me to climb then fall. Manipulating my body from the inside he ensures my orgasm lasts. It is not too intense or too quick but like a peaceable calm washing through me, cloaking my outermost limbs with sweet, sweet release. Vaguely I become aware of his erection pressing against me. He has removed his fingers and is now tracing my lips with them. This is so erotic and so us. Tentatively I run my tongue over my first my bottom lip then my top lip, tasting myself. I watch his eyes close and when he opens them again a blazing obscure shade of gray.
"I will not hurt you Ana. Do you trust me?"
"Yes, Christian," I tell him, I trust him with every fiber of my being.
He nudges his body against mine and begins to enter me gradually. I gasp and it causes him to halt his movement.
"Am I hurting you?" His face is nose to nose with mine. His elbows are placed on either side of my head and he is bearing his weight down on them.
"It feels…I feel so…"
"You're tight baby. I won't move too fast, relax, and just feel. I've got you."
He pushes further into me and I feel myself stretching, molding around him. My body remembers him and immediately becomes accustomed to the feel of him. He stills, allowing me to acclimate before he begins to move with long deep thrusts. Soon I am lost in being with Christian. I allow him to take my body with him. Moving me into an obscure space where only we exist.