Hey to any of the people who follow me. I'm sorry I haven't updated Dear Ally or Circles in a long time. I apologize, I do. But things have just been rough. Just, really rough.
Anyway, this is my new oneshot. It might sound a bit crazy, but I think that's how I intended to write it. Thanks for reading.
She watched the stars twinkle, contrasting the dark sky, and it just blew her mind how two perfectly different things could complement each other so well. Just like her and Austin, she decided. Two perfectly different things, but perfect together.
Until another comes in of course.
She was about to blow her head off. That giggle was possibly the most obnoxious thing she had ever freaking heard, but she couldn't say a single darn thing because that was Cassidy. She could practically see Austin swooning in her mind. Then again, all she had to do was look across the table to see him swooning now. Right in front of Ally. The girl he swore up and down to that he loved.
And he did love her right? He treated her like a princess when Cassidy wasn't around. And he made her feel special. Made her feel like she was the one he was swooning over.
She had never liked Cassidy anyway. Not her perfect blonde hair, or her perfect brown eyes, or her perfect shaped body, or her perfect singing voice, or her perfect anything. Who liked perfect anyway? Not Ally, that's for sure.
Austin cracked a joke and winked at the blonde for the fifth time in ten minutes. Cassidy giggled again while Ally mentally shot herself.
Staring herself down in the mirror, Ally had never seen such a hideous human being before. Look at that matted hair, look at that crooked smile, look at those dull eyes.
No wonder he dates Cassidy.
But he still loved Ally. He told her every night while they were under her bed sheets and stealing glances and kisses. He never did that for Cassidy. That was just for Ally - his special girl.
It was just for Ally, right?
She looked in the mirror again, pulling out the flat iron for her hair, plugged it in, and waited, all while staring herself down and pointing out her flaws.
Finally, the flat iron was heated to the point of which it couldn't get any hotter. But instead of putting it to the curls in her hair, she clamped it on her wrist.
"Why are you wearing long sleeves, babe? It's like a hundred degrees outside." Austin said, already tugging at the hem of the brunette's flannel shirt. She flinched back, ever so slightly, but still enough for Austin to notice.
He pushed her up against the wall - hard. She tried to push back, but she wasn't strong enough to move him. She was still scrawny, ugly Ally after all.
His head dipped to nibble on the skin by her shoulder, a moan escaping his own lips while Ally stared stony-face at the wall opposite them. When the blonde noticed her reaction - or rather, the lack of one - he released his grip on the brunette to stare her down.
"What's wrong with you?" was the first thing he asked. Not an are you okay? or a do you need to talk? Just a why aren't you falling for me?
She turned her attention to the boy, not a single speck of actual worry on his face. Just his beautiful lust covered eyes, beautiful smirk, beautiful hair. "I can't do this anymore, Austin. You have Cassidy. Let me find someone."
The real demand though, was let me be happy again.
He scoffed before pressing himself up against her again. He whispered in her ear before biting down on the same place he had been kissing before, causing her to let out a small hum.
"Cassidy's a whore," he had said. "Let me love you."
And just like that, she let him do as he had said, succumbing to the gentle way his hand slid up her back and ever so carefully unhooked her bra, but let her mind drift to a time before Cassidy.
She laid out in the grass after that night once Austin had fallen asleep. Flannel back on, she curled into a small ball and watched the stars twinkle above her. It almost took her breath away from how beautiful they were.
Like Austin and Cassidy.
She immediately grabbed her things from the boy's room and walked home.
"You look wrecked." the small Latino girl admitted. Ally let out a deep puff and buried her head into her hands.
She squeaked out a small reply, barely audible due to her covered face. "Thanks, Trish."
"I'm just saying. You know, maybe you should get a massage. I work at Margie's Massages now! Well, I mean, I'm ditching now, but I could totally get you in-"
Ally just buried her face further and hoped that Trish couldn't see the tears falling from her eyes.
This one had stung so badly, but she just ran it under some cool water, dried it, and burnt it in the same place again. She let out a yelp of pain, but continued to press down firmly.
She deserved this after all. She didn't deserve Austin. She wasn't good enough for him.
But she still wanted happiness.
She released the flat iron and moved it a little further up her arm.
Trish had called her the next morning, demanding that Ally come and visit her at her house because it was so important and couldn't tell her over the phone.
Ally agreed and started getting dressed, careful to make sure she put a long cardigan over her dress. She did a quick glance at herself in the mirror before leaving, trying to smile but not being able to. She rushed out of her house and ran over to Trish's, a block away.
Before Ally could even knock on the door of Trish's three-floor mansion of a house, the Latino girl threw open the door, already babbling about whatever it was that was so important.
Ally listened intently, only being able to catch a few blurbs here and there. Dez... kiss... I think we... together...
The brunette's eyes widened and her heart crashed. Her best friends together. Happy. In love. Something she would never be able to have as long as Austin was still around.
But yet, she still listened to the girl talk, and smiled, and hugged her, all while letting her mind wander into a dark crevice where hopefully, she could escape.
Burn, cool, dry. Repeat.
He visited her house one night after while she was crying in her room. He taped on her window lightly at first and then resorted to loud bangs.
She finally managed to acknowledge the boy before flipping him off, promptly causing a severe look of shock on his face. He almost stumbled backwards before the look of rage appeared on his face.
He started banging on the glass even harder now, pounding at it furiously. She swore that if he hit the glass any harder, it would break, and then she would actually have to face him.
The thought made her mind drift even further into the dark place it had already been. Suddenly, she felt her wrist stinging, as it always did when she got the urge to burn.
So she did.
Leaving the furious Austin for a minute, she retrieved the flat iron from the bathroom and returned to her bedroom. The look of confusion on his face was obvious, but yet he still continued to pound at the glass, now calling her name too.
She sat on the floor as the flat iron heated up. The rapping died down a little - just a little - as the blonde watched the curious antics of the girl. To Ally, however, it was common, so she waited impatiently, pick at her nails.
When it was heated all the way, she looked up at Austin, who had now almost completely stopped his pounding. And while staring him right in the eye, she picked up the flat iron, and burned until he finally disappeared from her window, out of sight and out of mind.
Burn, cool, dry. Repeat. Burn, cool, dry. Find happiness.
So, yeah. Um. It's different, I know. But, I like it. A lot.
Tell me what you think?