"I'm so sorry Goose,"

Shawn whirled around and saw his mother standing there, clutching the infant in her arms.

"Mom," Shawn walked over and hugged her being careful not to disturb the child. "Mom, I'm so confused. What is going on?" Gus came up and stood beside him, eyebrows pinched with worry.

Madeline closed her eyes briefly, then gestured to the chairs. When the were seated, she looked at her sons face. Confused and worried and…hopeful? She began.

"Goose, I loved you with all my heart. I really did. But after I left, I don't know what came over me. You…you do have a sister. Half-sister to be exact. And she is my daughter." Both Shawn and Gus gasped.

"You remarried?" Shawn sputtered.

His mother looked at him. "I never remarried, Shawn."

Shawn and Gus exchanged a glance. This was nothing like his mother! At least not the mother he knew! "Go on." he said.

"She was a accident, but I loved her just as much as I loved you, Goose. Her name is Kathy. We had a good life together. However, when she was ten, her father found out about her and demanded custody. We went to court and fought, but the court sided with him, lord only knows why. He was a alcoholic you see."

But Shawn had stopped hearing. We went to court and fought. That one line played over and over in his head. "Mom," he said cutting her off.

"Yes?"

"You went to the court and fought over her, right?"

"Yes, Shawn."

"And you love me with all your heart, right?"

"Yes."

Gus grew wide eyed as he realized where his best friend was taking this, but he was actually curious too.

"Then why didn't you fight for me when you and dad got a divorce?" Shawn said, eyes cold. They never left his mothers face. Madeline opened and closed her mouth several times then finally managed to force out, "Its not like that, Goose."

"Wrong answer." Shawn growled. He stood up and started to walk down the hall. Gus watched his friend go, but didn't follow him. Shawn needed to be alone. Madeline tried to run after him, but the baby started crying and she had to help it quite down again. The next time she looked up, her son was gone.

XXxXxXxXxXx

He didn't care it was raining. He didn't even feel the sharp icy shards of rain. Well, maybe he did. His arms were clutched around himself, partly because of the cold, wet shirt plastered against his torso, but mainly to ward off the facts of reality. She loves me with all her heart, but she didn't love me enough to fight for me. You know why? Cause she didn't really want me in the first place. Neither did my dad. Is there anyone on this earth that wants me?

He stopped abruptly when he realized he had walked back to the psych office. Shivering, clothes soaked and the rain started to come down harder, he dug around in his pocket for the keys. No keys. Then he remembered Gus had them, and he was back at the station. But there was no way he was going back there. And he didn't want to walk back to his apartment. Sighing he realized he really didn't have anywhere to go. So he leaned agansit the psych door, cold and wet and alone. He slide down and slumped onto the ground, trying to remember a time when he was warm and safe and loved.