I'm all alone and I'm really scared for a change. I won't show it off course, that'd be stupid…but I'm still scared, and no one's around to help me. It's just me and I gotta do this whole thing by myself. By my FUCKING SELF. My eyes have tears in them and my body hurts. My heart is full of fear, and my friends, I know they're scared too but damn it why do I have to be the one to take care of them, am I the only one who has to deal with bullshit? I miss my brother. I miss my mom. I miss my house with my bed and my computer and my safety. But none of that is here with me now and I'm sobbing in this dark spot of a place with nowhere to go. I'm hugging my knees to my chest and I need someone else to touch me just so I can know that someone else is here with me.

I call and wail for them until my throat is sore and I'm so scared it hurts. I can't hear anything but my empty sorrows. No one cares about Dirk Strider, I can take care of myself, I'm a big boy and I don't need anyone who isn't convenient for me to be with. I don't need my friends or my brother or a mom. I don't need to be held, I'm sixteen that's ridiculous. All I need is my heart, that's it yeah, nothing else! I'm okay now. I'm standing, smirking. Let's get out of here, let's beat it and…and…I'm on my knees crying again. There is no let's that would imply there is someone else beside me.

What is my heart without hope and life and void of evil? What am I without others to help me? I feel coldness. The game is not the only thing that's scratched, my mind is a mess and I cannot feel what I want. I am just a chameleon boy, changing face and thought for others. I want to be held. Fuck that I'm sixteen, I want to be motherfucking held and to cry and feel again but I have nothing. Where are my friends, where is my family, why am I alone? Help me, I can feel nothing in my heart but sin. Why must this happen?