Authors Notes –Well, I went back through this fic, and now that I have a good computer that I can use, decided to re-do this one to make it more comprehensible, as well as edit a few things. I hope you enjoy! Also, visit my web sites at www.geocities.com/ahem1650.
Dedications – To all of the Tribe fans in America! ^^
Rated – PG-13 for swearing and numerous suggestions of sex and drinking.
Disclaimer – I do not own any of the characters, stories, or incidents to The Tribe. All rights to the show are owned by Cloud 9 Studios and the respective companies that import The Tribe throughout the world. Too bad for them, I would've made a great owner.Storyboard – How a Post-Apocalyptic Drama Involving Only Kids is Done
(The Revised Edition)
Author – I am here to tell you of a story, involving a group of youngsters as they journey through life without adults, as they are conveniently killed off by something mysterious. While this would be a dream-come-true for most teenagers, our heroes are usually scared out of their minds, and show their fear by dressing in clothes that you wouldn't be caught dead in, painting their faces with an endless supply of face paint, sleeping with anyone within a 5 mile radius, and inventing fake gods to control people. Thus begins the powerful journey of our heroes, as they will be outlined as follows:
The location – Is yet to be determined. They live in The City and (sometimes) The Farm, which is apparently the name of the city and (sometimes) farm that they live in. No country is specified either, as it is supposed to represent that it can happen anywhere. However, it is duly noted that there is an ocean, which suggests it's near a coast; a river, which suggests that it's in a fertile area; calm weather, which suggests a consistent climate; everyone speaks English, which suggests that it's in the English-speaking portion of the world; and lots of foliage, which suggests that it's in a warmer, slightly-tropical climate. All in all, one can assume that the location of the show would not be in mainland North and South America, Central America, the Middle East, Northern Africa, South Africa, pretty much all of Africa, Asia, Russia, and all of Europe.
The time – The time shall only be mentioned as a certain century, for example, the 21st century. Nobody must care about the age that they live in or updating their calendars, and everybody must wear a working digital watch that they never look at.
The Tribe – The main tribe shall be called some strange and stupid name, in our case the Mallrats, a very bad name to call yourself, as it will and has, set up all the characters for easy bashing and insults (although the enemies on the show shall not use this to their advantage at all). Oh well, at least it's better than Churchmice.
The story – All the adults 18 and over shall die of a mysterious disease. This disease cannot affect the kids until later on, and the kids should immediately abandon their homes from shopping malls, parking garages, hotels, government facilities, and other
The way the adults die – This version of the way that the adults die is to be a virus, so that only the adults are wiped out, and it's not messy. Also, of course, the virus must be mysterious, and there must be massive government cover-ups about it. Not only that but the virus must soon spread to *gasp!* the children next, spurring a massive hunt for an antidote, which must be found in an obscure and booby-trapped government location.
The fashion – Everyone must have unbelievably bad taste in clothes and color coordination. All clothes must either clash, shine brighter than the sun, be extraordinarily skanky, or just plain look bad. Also, much brightly colored Halloween face-paint must
be used on the face, arms, neck, legs, and/or bust as a sign of fashion and war. Hairstyles must be outrageous and must mostly be done using the aid of tools that won't work once all the adults have died, but for some strange reason work anyways.
The tools – Everything shall be the same as before, even though there is no power, plumbing, and gasoline. The nerd shall invent a new way to keep everything running on electricity, gasoline will miraculously appear out of nowhere, and plumbing will still work, despite the fact that there's no running water in The City. Toilets will flush, baths will be drawn, clothes will be washed, computers will work, crimpers and curlers will rule all, and certain police cars, snatch-vehicles, Techno vans, and tractors will drive with a forever-replenishing-gas-tank.
The slogan – The slogan of the entire drama must be something light, philosophical, stupid, and have no meaning towards the drama, in our case, let's make it, "Keep the dream alive". What dream will we be keeping alive? No one will ever know the answer to that, but the theme must come into play all the time and every single character must mention a "dream" at least once within the drama.
The leader – Bray, the (original) fearless leader, is of course super-muscley and "super-hunky", as of course all of the girls in the tribe (but two) swoon over him like he's the God of Hotness. His outfit actually matches, which is very rare in Tribeworld. Despite
his mullet and scary Celtic design by his eye, he actually doesn't look to bad. And of course, naturally, being leader of a tribe means that he's automatically the oldest, tallest, and best looking. The unwritten rules of leaderdome shall apply to him as he is the only one who cares about the tribe, the people, his many girlfriends, peace, love, and above all, happiness. Also, he must be captured by a warring tribe, and disappear off the face of the Earth forever, leaving behind his girlfriend and his kid.
The leader's girlfriend/co-leader – Amber must be hot, sexy, and authoritative, she also must wear her hair weird and keep the leader on the straight and narrow. She must be practically perfect in every way, everybody must love her, and her thoughts on everything must always be pure, true, and all around too goody for reality. She also must leave at least once, whether it be from amnesia, "death", maternity, or kidnap.
The jealous guy who wants to be leader but is too evil for the job – Lex, the guy who thinks he's better than everyone else and should be leader, is one of the evil guys of the show. Of course he has to have some sort of huge setback (drinking), and he has to have a way with the ladies. While his looks shall not compare to Bray's, they shall come close, which as all of us know, means he's smaller, less well built, has more face paint, clashier clothes, and is second oldest. He must hate the leader, bang many girls, try many times to grasp power (but manage to stay content with a lower level, yes-man type work, such as being as sheriff) and expand his ego many times over.
The evil deceiver – Ebony, as her name will of course have to symbolize how dark and evil she really is, is hot, sexy, and never willing to be your friend. By the laws of Tribeworld, she must act like she's got PMS 24/7, be smarter than everybody, use
everybody for her own benefit, and seduce at least one person within the tribe after she joins. Also by the unwritten rule of tribedome, she must have been the leader of another "evil" tribe, be totally in love with the leader, and must always wear really skanky clothes.
The nerd – Of course, no tribe is complete without a nerd, this one being named Jack. He is supposed to be not very great with people, babble on about science a lot, and dress very strangely. He must also be lanky, pale, and short, so that he (God forbid) never surpasses the leader in hotness. He also must have a really whiny girlfriend that doesn't deserve him and a best friend whom later argues with him and dies. And as the unwritten rules of tribedome go, he must wear blindingly-bright colors, dye his hair the most ridiculous color imaginable and sport a nice green stripe or white design across his nose/face that, of course, must clash with everything. Also, the laws of tribedome say that he must be someone that the tribe desperately needs, until he either runs away or gets captured, in which case he is easily replaceable.
The best friend of the nerd – This person, who shall be named Dal (though pronounced Dell, so as everyone can automatically think that he's the name of their computer) must be interested and smart in everything the nerd is, but later on must find a useful hobby to pursue that would involve something gentle, such as farming. He must love to work, be very friendly, save everyone's butts without being thanked, be hassled by the nerd for being played by his girlfriend, and die.
The annoying bitch – Selene will be the annoying bitch that you just want to kill in the tribe. By law she must have one of the nicest boys in the tribe as a boyfriend and treat him like dirt, must always complain and whine, must always be idolized as the best dressed (especially when she's not), and have at least one emotional problem to overcome. She must also dye her hair some ridiculous color and chop it all off, wear "stylish" clothes, and always want the leader instead of her perfect boyfriend. She must also take over the role as leader when the main leader (Bray) is captured, and be extremely kind to kids, animals, and anything else (besides her friends and boyfriend/husband) that would have a person nominated for sainthood.
The oversized super nice guy – Ryan will be the oversized teddy bear that you just want cuddle with and cry as you watch him get treated like cow dung by his girlfriend day after day. He must be loveable, easily manipulated by his best friend (the evil guy), extremely gullible, and always willing to protect someone. By law he must be treated like scum by his girlfriend and best friend, and must always get the harshest punishments for stuff that he didn't do or only did once.
The weak girl with something inhibiting her – No tribe is complete without at least one weak and insane link, this one being named Trudy. The unwritten code of tribeness states that she shall have some of the worst fashion sense of all, have at least one kid, be bipolar, sneaky, and the one person that everyone is forced to look after 24/7, even as she'll threaten them with anything from her fingernails to a plastic knife. She must also be fiercely obsessed with the leader, although the baby isn't his. Plus, she must wear Goth-style makeup and cut her hair repeatedly.
The oversized friendly giant – The name of the overweight-but-gentile-giant-unless ticked-off shall be named Alice, a suiting name for someone of her size. She must be in love with at least one guy within the tribe who doesn't like her back, lovable, strong, have nice hair, and be fiercely protective of someone. She must always wear the most unreal wonder bra ever invented and must have a heart of gold. Her boyfriend must also die at some point, and she must go insane and go stomping around aimlessly while smearing dirt on her face.
The annoying, bratty, sister of the oversized friendly giant – This girl must be a 4 year old embodied in a 17 year old, must be pretty, thin, pale, blonde, stupid, and she must play the feelings of the nerd and his best friend to the point of all out nerd vs. farmer war. She must treat the nerd like crap, cheat on him at least once, whine constantly, and be more stubborn than a mule. She must also have at least one nervous breakdown and have no street-smarts whatsoever.
The thief – This person must be completely lost in the world and steal everything in sight. His name will be KC, because apparently he thinks that the state of Kansas is the world capital of thievery. He must be lovable in some way, look and act tough, be easily manipulated by the evil guy (Lex in his case), must dye his hair some bright color so as to be easily spotted whilst scamming, and must be able to rip everyone within The City off at least once.
The annoying little kids that you just want to kill – Usually these are girls, and usually they're friends who fight constantly and moan and whine and bitch about everything. They naturally must be adorable, think the world of the bitch (Selene), love all
animals (especially puppies, pigs, cows, and sheep), be completely innocent, and be the most manipulatable of all. Both of them must dress horribly, and both of them must have a crush on the same boy at least once. Also, one must presumably die while the other must be sent off somewhere, only to come back grown up and bitchier than the resident bitch.
The new age chick that is so philosophical that you wanna puke – The new age chick must be respected by everyone, have prophetic dreams, must have some strange Asian name like Tai-San, must sleep with every guy within 5 miles, must change the evil guy for the better, and must be attacked at least once. She also must wear the wackiest clothes, jabber on about good and peace and love and all the mushy stuff, must believe in the good of all people, especially when they're 100% evil, and must always talk in riddles. Naturally, you must be annoyed by this person immensely and wish that the tribe would kick her out. Thus, you must be extremely happy when she gets captured by a warring tribe, and be extremely mad when she appears again later on as a member of said warring tribe.
The tree-hugger – The tree-hugger must be a part of the main tribe (the Mallrats), but always be told that he is not. He must have some Indian-envrionmental-Greenpeace-type name, something along the lines of Pride. He must have horrible dreadlocks, be the leader of another tribe and leave said tribe for the main one, never to return, be in love with the leader's girlfriend, fall/use at least two girls within the main tribe (the Mallrats), and have many other girls from both the main tribe and various other tribes swooning over him.
The fashion-savvy chick – This girl must have the most fashion sense of everyone, even though it's the worst. She must dye her hair numerous scary colors, dress in outfits nobody else would be caught dead in, and must be idolized by everyone as having
the most fashion sense. Of course she must fall in love with somebody, in her case it being Lex. She must later die for being too insane in her fashions.
The psychopathic tribe that wants to destroy the main tribe for no apparent reason – This tribe must be run by a fanatical leader who is obsessed with a made-up god, a virtual reality game, or are just plain angry at the main tribe for no given reason. This
tribe must kidnap at least one member of the main tribe (the Mallrats), and they all must dress the same/have the same theme of dress. Also, they all must have their dress code be that of freakish fashion, and their hair must be either a mullet or slicked in some way so that it's ugly and annoying at the same time. The fanatical leader must also be obsessed with one girl from the main tribe (the Mallrats), said girls being the bipolar mother (Trudy) and the evil deceiver (Ebony).
The made-up god and cult that follows him – This person must be called some strange and freakish name, for our case it shall be Zoot. This person must be a leader of some tribe, look insane, be worshipped/feared/honored/loathed by everyone, and must have a random child out there somewhere as the result of having too many women. For plot purposes, the leader of the main tribe must be his older brother that he always lived under the shadow of and he must die and come back to life at some point.
The child – Brady is the baby of the show, the one that presumably should get the most protection, but rarely does. Brady must be repeatedly kidnapped, never grow up past 6 months, have an insane mother, and be the child of the made-up god.
The random other tribes that are just sort of there – There must be other random tribes that show up sporadically throughout the series so as to show that the city isn't solely made up of just the main tribes. Also, these random tribes must claim to have a lot of members, but have no power whatsoever, not wish to seek power, be repeatedly pissed-off at the main tribe, and, when seen in full, must have only about 1/30th the amount of members that you originally thought they had.
Author – And so I leave you with these ideas on how to form your own post-apocalyptic drama involving only kids. Have fun, and remember, keep the dream alive!THE END
Well, I hope everyone enjoyed that. Remember, this is a parody, it's supposed to bash everybody, so don't take it to heart or anything. I hope you got a laugh out of it, please review. To contact me, you can e-mail me at Merc1650@hotmail.com, IM me at that address on MSN, review my fic, go to my web sites at www.geocities.com/ahem1650, or contact me on the Tribeworld.com message boards. My screen name is Merc in those message boards, and I post in the USA & Canada Chat, Worldview, and Look Into the Future...What do YOU See?! forums. Thanks!