A/N OK this is my entry for the * October Drabble War*. It's my first try at writing so please take it easy on me :) This is just the first chapter to give you a wee tease, the remainder will post from 12th Oct over that weekend.

I owe so many peeps massive thanks. Leslie, Farah and my darling Mona Rider for pre-reading, giving me advice and kicking my ass when needed, and a huge hug to TwiLighT7242 for her never-ending support and mad Beta skills xxx

Finally i have to say a HUGE thanks to my RL best friend, Fiona Seenan, without her 'blowing smoke up my arse' as she would put it lol...I would never have had the guts to post this at all...I seriously lu you bb xxx

The story was inspired by this song: Picking up the pieces - Paloma Faith www . youtube watch?v=oFWMBmiNY5k

So, here goes...

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CHAPTER 1 BPOV

If it wasn't for my music and song-writing, I think would be insane now.

My relationship with Edward feels so damaged. I really don't know if there is a way to repair it, or to get back to where we were before.

His body is here by my side, and in his actions he tries to make up for his mistakes, but I feel like his heart is with her.

I put my pen against paper, trying to get my feelings out before I take them out on him, making this god-awful situation worse.

Do you think of her, when you're with me? I scribble onto the paper, as the tears run down my cheeks. I choke on a sob, writing: Repeat the memories you made together, whose face do you see?

The hurt is excruciating, but I don't know another way to expel it. Was it my fault?

Do you wish I was a bit more like her? Am I too loud?

I play the clown to cover up, all these doubts.

I can't continue. My hand drops the pen as the devastation takes over again. What did I do to deserve all this pain?

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Please review :)

Go on and give the other Drabble War Entrants a read too!

FB: Wantstobea Cullen

Ffn: Wants2beACullen: www . fanfiction u / 2120357 / Wants2BeACullen

FB: Maria Depp Burton

Ffn:Little Angry Kitten: www . fanfiction ~/ littleangrykitten

FB: ADADancer

Ffn:ADADancer: www. fanfiction . net / u / 2207394 /

FB: Ellie Wolf

Ffn:WhiteWolfLegend: www . fanfiction. net / u / 2115465 / WhiteWolfLegend

FB: Marigel Martinez Cardel

Ffn:MaritaMtzC: www . fanfiction ~ / maritamtzc

FB: Rob's Sleeptalker

Ffn: sleeptalker1: www . fanfiction u / 2326376 / sleeptalker1