Hello, If you've read From Here on, this is completly seperate it was just an idea I had an wanted to write it out to see if people liked it. If you haven't read my other story welcome! I hope you enjoy this! :)
Disclaimer: I don not own The Hunger Games.
Out of Reach
I wish he was here. My Husband. He was the only one that could make all the pain and sadness go away. All I have of him are the happy memories, like the toasting. The fact that no one knows I'm actually pregnant makes this situation even harder. Peeta only announced it in the interview because he thought the Capitol would excuse me from the arena. It didn't work though. My heart shattered into a million pieces when I realised to keep Peeta alive my unborn child would have to die. But, I would rather it would die innocent having nothing to do with the brutal world it would have been brought into.
However I am still here and, I have to face every day here in 13 with an expanding stomach and no Peeta. When I woke up in 13 and the doctors confirmed I hadn't lost my baby, due to the injuries I obtained in the arena, I swore them to secrecy. When I was let out of the hospital I told everyone that I had lost the baby. I still don't know why I did that. In hind sight it would have been better to tell at least my Mother and Prim, at least then I would have some support. But, a part of me still doesn't want to tell people. It was mine and Peeta's little secret. Ours. No one else's.
I realised I really did love him during the Victory Tour. When he would comfort me when I awoke, screaming from my nightmares. He would hold me for hours, whispering sweet nothings in my ear. I remember one moring when Effie walked into my room without knocking. She nearly fainted at the sight of Peeta in bed with me. I can still hear her stern words,
"Katniss Everdeen, you may be 16 and old enough to make your own choices but you need to be more discreet about them. I do not want to walk in on you two canoodling! Do you understand?"
Peeta and I weren't canoodling; we didn't really become an item until we were back in District 12. I would spend most of my time at his house or at the bakery. His brothers and father welcomed me with open arms. His mother was another matter but she wasn't around much so it didn't really bother me. I loved being at the bakery. I would sit on the counter top and, watch Peeta bake. He would sneak me cakes and cookies. One day when I was watching him bake, he proposed to me for real. Not for the Capitol. I accepted and that afternoon we went to the justice Building to make it official and then that night we did the toasting. We both decided not to tell anyone though it would be just for us.
Gale went to work in the mines, so I could only see him on Sundays. The sad thing was that I didn't miss him that much. Not as much as I thought I would. I was having so much fun with Peeta to notice. We would still meet on the Sundays to hunt. Sometimes I would have to cancel because Peeta's family invited me to dinner. That pissed Gale off and, things haven't really been the same between us. We spend some time together here in 13, but that's only because Peeta isn't here or my mother and Prim are working.
Gale is practically the reason I'm pregnant. I'm not saying Gale is the father because he is definitely not. But, it was the fight Gale and I had that led to the fact that I slept with Peeta. I remember that day so well:
"I've missed hunting with you Catnip." Gale said as we rested on the rock overlooking the country side. I haven't really missed hunting with him, but I tell I missed it too, I don't want to fight.
"I can't wait until next Sunday!" He says excitement evident in his voice, I feel a pain in my chest as I realise I will have to tell him I can't make next Sunday again. I clear my throat,
"Um yeah about that Gale, I can-" He cuts me off midsentence,
"You having lunch with bread boy again?" He asks roughly,
"Gale! I told you not to call Peeta that and, yes I am having lunch with the Mellarks." I say sternly,
"He has you wrapped round his little finger, or is it the other way round?" He asks coldly,
"It's neither, I like his family, and I love him and he loves me!" I shout at Gale. It's the first time I've admitted I love Peeta to Gale. Gale scoffs,
"Oh yeah you love him do you, or are you just sleeping with him?" I slap him hard, leaving a satisfying red mark on his cheek. We stand there glaring at each other until I have regained enough composure to speak,
"Not that it is any of your business, but I am not sleeping with him, I could though, any wife has a right to sleep with her husband!" I try to keep my voice quiet but I end up shouting. His expression goes from hurt to anger,
"You actually married Him? Katniss you're 17! I thought that was all show just for the Capitol!"
"Gale, why don't you understand? I love him, I will love him forever!" He tries to pull me back but I storm off.
I run back to the Victors village, and straight into Peeta's house instead of my own. I burst through the front door, drop my game bag and scream in anger and frustration. Peeta comes out of the kitchen and wraps his arms around me.
"What happened?" He asks, I tell him everything, all of what gale said, even the part about him thinking Peeta and I slept together. And that I accidentally blurted out about us being married.
"He actually thinks we are sleeping together? Why?" Peeta asks, I consider this for a second, why would Gale think that? Maybe he's jealous, maybe he wishes I was with him instead of Peeta. It makes sense.
"I think he's jealous of you." I say quietly, Peeta nods,
"If I were him, I'd be jealous of me too. After all you are the prettiest girl in District 12." I giggle, and so does Peeta. I stay at Peeta's for a little while longer, but then I decide to go home Prim and Mother will be wondering where I am.
When I return home I tell mother and Prim that I am tired and I go straight to my room. What Gale said has been bothering me. Why would Gale think about Peeta and me sleeping together before we have even thought about ourselves? I love Peeta more than anything and I wouldn't think twice about sleeping with him. The only reason we haven't slept together is because the thought honestly hadn't crossed my mind. I don't have any more time to think about it though because sleep takes over me.
I wake up breathing heavily and covered in sweat after another nightmare. My mother doesn't know that I sometimes spend the night with Peeta so when I do go over to his house I have to climb out my window so I don't disturb her. I drop silently from my window and sprint over to Peeta's house. I let myself in and climb up the stairs to his room. He's awake, sitting on the edge of the bed staring out the window. I come up behind him and Put my arms around him. He turns round to look at me and gives me a kiss.
I move round and sit on his lap.
"Nightmares?" He asks, I nod. I look up into his crystal blue eyes, and feel so much love for him it's unreal. I lean in for a kiss and he doesn't object. I feel the same thing I felt in the cave, the hunger, no matter how long we kiss it will never be fulfilled. Before I know what I'm doing I start to pull at the hem of his shirt. He pulls away and I feel embarrassed.
"Katniss, are you sure you want this? You're not just doing this to spite Gale?"
"I'm sure, what Gale said made me realise how much I love you and how ready I am for this." I say, looking directly into his eyes so he knows I'm telling the truth. I lean in for another kiss and he doesn't hesitate. This then became the happiest night of my life.
I never thought I would love someone so much, but I do, I love Peeta more than life itself. It kills me to know that he is in the Capitol, being tortured or worse. I want him here with me, with our un-born child. It's too early to tell the gender from the scans but I know it's a girl. I have gone through lots of names in my head, I'm supposed to stick to a schedule here in 13 but I never follow it, so I have a lot of free time. Sometimes I go to check on Haymitch, there isn't any alcohol here in 13 so he is in an awful state. Most of the time though, I'm by myself in my room, as my mother and Prim work in the hospital here.
I'm not the only one who is missing someone they love. The rebels also managed to get Finnick Odair out of the arena. The Capitol then went on to abduct his one true love back home, a girl called Annie. Finnick and I have had many heated discussions with 13's President, Coin, about a mission to rescue the victors the Capitol captured. She told us she wants to get them out safe but it isn't her top priority at the moment. God I hate that woman. I can't stress too much to though; it's bad for the baby.
I was sitting on my bed staring at the wall, as I so often do when there was a knock at the door. I reluctantly get up to answer it. I'm surprised to see Haymitch at my door, a very worried expression on his face,
"You're gonna wanna see this sweetheart!"
I hope you enjoyed that :) I will mostly up-date this on weekends because my homework keeps me busy during the week. Please leave a review on your way out the make my day and I love to hear what you think! :)