I do not own Red Vs Blue. Please Review and Thank You. This One-Shot is AU and everyone is teenagers. This is in Washington's Point Of View and he goes by the name Wash.

A Simple Tackle

By WonderlandIsAnIllusion

"Church says people become stupid after drinking diet sodas." Caboose told me and I didn't bother to say anything. "Tucker drinks diet sodas and he's stupid."

I ignored him. I'm not in the mode to explain anything to anyone, but then Caboose grabbed my diet coke bottle which actually contains Pepsi and he was about to dump it. No one fucks with my Pepsi.

"Caboose, If you dump my Pepsi then you are a dea-"

",But Wash…it says diet coke." Caboose said to me and he tilted his head to the side.

"I dumped that out on some roses and filled the empty diet soda bottle with Pepsi."

"Wouldn't that hurt the roses?"

"No, Caboose. Give me back my drink before I hurt you."

"Why go through all the effort when you could have bought Pepsi from a store. It doesn't add up and I don't want you become stupid like Tucker."

"Caboose, I will tackle you if you do not hand over my pepsi."

"I'm taller."


"I'm taller and you are shorter than me." Caboose told me and I swiftly tackled him down onto the grass with great ease. I grabbed my bottle, tilted it back, and swallowed all of the delicious Pepsi liquids while holding Caboose down with one arm. I breathed through my nose and a little bit of liquid dripped from my lips. I get a little insane over Pepsi. What can I say? Pepsi helps me deal with the crazy and dumb people that I have to deal with every day.

"I do not understand why I feel a little tingly, Wash." Caboose said to me while staring up into my eyes. I blinked my eyes in confusion before discovering that Caboose has a….How the hell can anyone get like this after being tackled, held down with one arm, and oh wait Caboose a bit dumb. I got off of him and he is staring at me.

"Do you normally feel tingly after being tackled?" I asked in my best professional voice. Although I doubt a professional would use the word tingly, but Caboose wouldn't be able to understand more complex words.

"No, I get angry and want to hurt the other person very very badly."

"Do you want to hurt me very very badly?" I asked calmly and I tossed my empty soda bottle into the garbage.

"No." Caboose replied and he tilted his head to the side. "Oh and your breath didn't smell like diet soda."

"Because I was drinking Pepsi. I hate diet sodas, but recently my parents have decided to buy only diet sodas." I said flatly and brushed my jeans off. "I have a system going on, Caboose. I dump the diet coke and replace with Pepsi."

"I'm glad you haven't become stupid. Diet sodas turn people stupid like Tucker." Caboose said cheerfully and I stretched my arms. "Where do you get the Pepsi to replace the diet coke?"

"From a supplier." I replied calmly and Caboose gasped while staring at me.

"Donut says when a person has a supplier that person is doing drugs. Drugs are bad and cause bad things to happen." Caboose said to me. I run a hand through my short blond hair and took a deep breath.

"I'm not doing drugs."

"That's good."

"My supplier gives me unopened Pepsi bottles and in return I give him som-"

"No! Wash, You shouldn't become a prostitute."

"How the hell did you come to that conclusion? It makes no sense at all, Caboose. I gave him some paper swans."


"I'm leaving."

"Don't go. I still feel tingly and I don't know how to make it go away." Caboose told me while making puppy dog eyes at me. It doesn't work on me.

"….Think of Tucker in a mini skirt." I said after thinking for a moment.

"Tingly feeling is gone. It has died. I feel sick." Caboose informed me and he threw up on the grass. "I hate Tucker. Tucker is stupid."

"Hey, Wash!" York shouted loudly and he grabbed my arm while grinning widely at me. "I won the bet. So you have to wear short shorts and shake your butt at the school dance."

"Tingly feeling is back." Caboose informed me while looking into my eyes. "How do I make it go away?"

"Tucker in mini skirt." I said flatly and Caboose threw up again.

"What is going o-" York started to ask in a confused voice.

"Do not ask." I stated firmly and York blinked his eyes. "If you ask then I will tackle you, York."

"Wash can you pretty tackle me again." Caboose said cheerfully.

"What the fuck, Caboose?" York asked out-loud and I rubbed my forehead. "You enjoy pain or something? Wash's tackles are painful."

"No, I got tingly when Wash tackled me and I liked it." Caboose stated bluntly and then he looked at me. "Can you pretty please tackle me again, Wash?"

My cheeks are burning, York is snickering, and Caboose is looking at with puppy dog eyes. What the hell is wrong with these people?

"Wow, Wash. So you get some people all tingly when you tackle them." York said while snickering and I punched him in the face. "Fuck that hurts, but I regret nothing!"

I walked away, went inside my house, and started on my homework. After I was finished my cell phone ringed and I answered it.

"Hello, This is David Washington."

"Caboose is more annoying than usual and he is talking non-stop about you, Wash. Fucking thought he was annoying before, but now its all...Hey, Church can you please get Wash to tackle me again. Church, Church, Church I liked it when Wash tackled me and I got all tingly. Why did you tackled him, Wash?"

"He refused to return to me my Pepsi and I took it back by use of force. I'm not at fault for him gaining pleasure from being tackled to the grass by me. Do not bitch to me about him wanting to be tackled by me. I do not wish to hear it. I will not tackle him. Bye." I commented calmly and ended the call. I turned my cell phone off.

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