Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize

Prompts: Wanted You More by Lady Antebellum and somebody spikes the apple cider.

Words: 476 (not including Prompts, AN, Disclaimer or lyrics quote)

All the words unspoken, promises broken, I cried for so long. Wasted too much time, should've seen the signs,
I guess I wanted you more and looking back now, I'm sure.
All the nights we spent, just talking of the things we wanted out of life
Making plans and dreams together.
My heart was open, exposed and hoping for you to lay it on the line. - Lady Antebellum "Wanted You More"

He reread the fancy wedding invitation for the sixteenth time, sighed and wrote that he was attending.

He knew that someday it would happen but no amount of preparation could soften the blow. The day of the wedding he congratulated the happy newlyweds, told the groom how lucky of a man he was and shared an embarrassing story about the bride. The couple had chosen to get married on Halloween and they served apple cider instead of Champagne.

When he and the bride spoke there was no mention of the nights they spent talking, dreaming of what their life would be like together. There was no mention of the broken promises, the wasted time they spent on each other. Neither mentioned the nights they spent in tears because one another after their breakup. There was no mention of the calls that never came, words that were never spoken about again. There were a few glances and hugs but nothing that was out of the ordinary.

Even from the beginning he knew that he'd get his heart broken. After all he always did in the end. He saw the signs early on, the signs that said their relationship was doomed from the start but he but chose to ignore them. Even from the beginning he knew that he wanted her more than he should. He knew that his heart would end up being ripped apart but he still left it open exposed, hoping that it wouldn't split in half in the end.

As he watched the couple say their vows, his eyes watered. He envied her, not because she found love, not because she was going to get the fairytale ending but because she had moved on so easily, because she had made it seem like their relationship was nothing, that it didn't mean anything. Maybe it didn't, maybe they were both better off without each other. Maybe after the wedding he'd end up finding the peace he so desperately needed.

But for now, he was left with trying to cover up his pain. He was left knowing that even though he gave her everything he had, it still wasn't enough. She still didn't choose him in the end. He couldn't get angry at her but it wasn't for lack of trying. He was angrier at himself than anyone else. How could he have let himself fall this deep and not have a way back up? How could he not realize how much she had affected him? He needed a cure, a distraction. So he threw himself in his work and spent the reminder of his time with his son. And it worked, at least, until nigh time rolled around and he was left with nobody at the other end of the bed. So could you really blame him for spiking the apple cider in the end?

AN. Wow, this didn't turn out the way I thought it would but I like it. In case you didn't know "he" is Hotch and "she" is JJ. Thanks for reading and please review.