Let's get one thing straight, this is a ridiculously retarded humor story. It's just bad. If you can't listen to this warning, that's your funeral. It's retarded and full of weird, stupid humor. REQUESTED BY SOME VARIOUS MEMBERS OF TEAM ZACKOVIC (YOU IDIOTS).
If you feel your brain rotting away or your IQ physically dropping by the second as you read the story, just close it. I don't want to be blamed for your F's in your report cards or job applications.
Chapter 1: Interrupted sleep.
Parakarry is a Paratroopa who flies around the Paper Mario universe delivering mail to god knows where and god knows who. Early one morning, Parakarry was sleeping on the job, literally. He was asleep on the main counter in the post office, snoring with a puddle of drool formed at edge of his mouth. He was so deep in sleep that he never heard Mario walk inside.
"Hey Parakarry!" Mario said cheerfully.
Parakarry continued snoring.
"Parakarry?" Mario asked, realizing he was asleep.
Parakarry twitched slightly.
"I wanna ride the Cheep Cheep again." He muttered subconsciously.
Mario cleared his throat and took a deep breath. He raised his finger and opened his mouth wide.
"STAMPEDE!" He shouted.
"Waaah!?" Parakarry shouted, bolt upright, before he fell off the counter. He got up, floating in the air with his wing beating lazily.
Phew," he exhaled. "It's just one cow."
Mario was not amused.
"I'm just a magnet for these fat jokes, aren't I?" He mumbled. "I want to sue Nintendo."
Luigi walked inside at that moment. Parakarry yawned.
"Guys, it's sunday." He said. "Why do you have to wake me up this early?"
"Well, it's such a beautiful day today, so I thought to myself: 'Mario, you need to go exploring.'" Mario said.
"So, it's not because Princess Peach kicked you out to go the gym, right?" Parakarry asked musingly.
Mario looked and felt offended.
"That's besides the point!" He snapped. "Anyways, I was wondering if you'd like to come with me, Luigi and Daisy to LavaLava island. And that means you have to."
"Mario, you came here by yourself, right?" Parakarry asked.
"Yes." Mario nodded. "Yes I did."
"So, can't you go to LavaLava Island by yourself?" Parakarry asked. "Why do you need me?"
Mario's smile dropped.
"Oh. Well let's just say the last time I travelled by sea it didn't go so well." He explained. "I'm lucky I can even drive my kart without crashing it!"
Mario went back in memory, remembering the time he tried to enter sailing events in the London 2012 Olympics. He was sailing down the course, the wind blowing and water splashing in his face. Then, a piranha randomly jumped out off the water and bit his butt. Mario yelled and lost control of the boat. He stopped looking at the course to try and wrench the piranha off his backside.
Luigi was cruising around the first checkpoint, turning a full circle to head down the opposite side of the course. That's when Mario crashed straight into his side, sinking both of their boats.
Luigi broke through the surface of the water, completely drenched, and pulled his brother out.
"Where did they teach you to get your license?!" Luigi yelled at Mario.
Mario was now wrestling with the rabid piranha, which was clamped on his massive nose.
"Ow! I already told you-OUCH!- bro!" Mario yelled. "I'M F##Kin' -YEOWCH!- CLASSIFIED!"
Back in present time...
Mario shuddered and Luigi rolled his eyes.
"Was I supposed to see something just now?" Parakarry asked, confused.
"No, it's a flashback. No one understands how it works." Luigi explained.
Parakarry yawned and groaned. "Alright, just let me get my stuff together."
End of C1.