I told that I loved you every time I fucked you
It was a nice bright day in LA and Andrew Dennis Biersack couldn't be happier. Today was the he was getting married to the man that he loved, Ashley Purdy. "Hi honey I'm so happy for you, you must happy" Amy (Andy's mom) said as she barged in to his dressing room
"Hi mom, and yes I'm so very happy" Andy said smiling his bright luminous blue eyes had a twinkle in them.
Obsessed with the thought of you the pain just grew and grew
It's been 2 years since mine and Ashley's wedding. We've been so happy till now. "How could you've done that" he scowled at me "How could you cheat on me. I thought I would be the one to cheat"
"Sorry me and Matt were drunk, we weren't thinking he just kissed me and I kissed him back. It's not like we had sex or anything we just kissed" I whined, as one lonely tear fell down my face.
"And to think I told you I loved every time I fucked you, but in reality you loved Matt, how could you do that to me" Ash bitched slapped
"OUCH" I yelped grabbing my face and rubbing it trying to
"We should split up" Ash stammered
"No Ashley baby I love you more than anything, what happened to saying we would be together through thick and thin" I cried looking for something in him that would go off like a bomb.
"No, Andy you screwed my trust. I can't trust you" Ashley walked out the door of our small apartment that we had lived in since we got married
Pull up the sleeves to see the patterns of my cuts
One year later…
Ashley has been gone for a year. I haven't got over the fight that destroyed our marriage. I cut for the first time since I was 16. I lost all contact with my friends and family. Our band that I and Ashley were in: Black Veil Brides broke up 6 months ago due to the fact that me and Ashley was split up and fighting and the guys wouldn't take it anymore. I've been a mess since then. I've done drugs; I turned bulimic for a while and I felt that the reason Ashley didn't want me because I was fat. I have gone a year pretty much in silence.
A ring from the phone pierced the silence. I took what was left of the coke I had gotten at the party I went to last month. I snorted it. The feeling of the high that I got was incredible. I didn't want to answer the phone and if I did answer they would probably figure out that I was high
I used to be love struck; now I'm just fucked up
I haven't spoken to Andy in a good 6 months. I still love him it was just a kiss, he was right it wasn't sex or anything I overreacted. I phoned him I need to talk to him. Our marriage was destroyed because of a stupid fight that we had over Matt Good. He was Andy's best friend. But shortly after that fight Andy and Matt slowly drifted apart. He didn't answer, why wouldn't he answer. It killed me all I wanted to do was hold him in my arms and say sorry for the pain and grief I put him through. I know I broke his heart and crumpled it into small pieces there was no way in hell he would forgive me. But it was worth a shot.
I'm sorry, oh I'm sorry no.
It felt like hours but I finely got to his apartment. "Oh. Hey Ashley I haven't seen you in ages" Beatrice the receptionist waved at me.
"Hi Beat, how are you and how is Andy?" I asked the bubbly person in front of me.
"I'm fine but I'm worried about Andy" she replied turning serious fast.
"Why is he ok" I asked getting worried myself.
"About a month ago when he came home from wherever he was, he smelt of coke and weed" she said a tear slipping out of her eye.
"Wh-what?" I asked to make sure that I wasn't hearing anything wrong.
"I think he's taking drugs, I'm worried"
"No that can't be true, my sweet Andy. Did I really fuck him up that bad" I whispered
"Apparently" she whispered back
And all the shit we've been through obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew.
I was lying on the floor feeling high as kite. The voices started to come back. "Go kill yourself Andy" One of them hissed in my ear
"Yeah Andy listen, go kill yourself you faggot "another one hissed in my other ear
"Why don't you get out of my goddamn motherfucking head" I screeched
"No Andy, if you don't listen to us we will do it for you" they crackled evilly into my ear.
"Fine" I agreed. I stood up and went to the kitchen, I got out the biggest fucking butcher knife I could fucking find.
"Now, do it now" they screeched again. Drove the knife through the pale white ghastly skin on my stomach and where I had tattooed myself it said "AP and AB forever". I fell to the floor bleeding out. I could feel my eyes getting heavy and through my last breaths I managed to say:
"I used to be love struck; now I'm just fucked up"