I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, if I did, why the fuck would I be writing FanFiction?

Co Author - SamH1998

"Slifer, ATTACK!"

The red dragon soared through the air, stopping a few feet away from his opponent, BEWD (blue eyes white dragon) to collectively sock him in the face.

"HEY, NO, NO, THAT IS ASSAULT."

"Seriously Blue-Eyes? After all the shit Kaiba put Yugi through, you're going to call THAT assault? IT'S A BATTLE FOR FUCK'S SAKE."

"NO, I WAS DEFENDING MYSELF DAMNIT." BEWD cried, "THAT IS SECOND-DEGREE ASSAULT."

"What are you going to do? Take it to court?"

"HELLS YEAH I AM, BEE-YETCH!"

Slifer facepalmed, "You're a moron"

"NOW THAT'S TWO CHARGES."

"Fuck."

"Slifer the Sky Dragon" said Judge Relin Quished (Relinquished), "You may plead your case."

"Your honor, I plead that my opponent is an arrogant prick."

"Fair enough, BEWD, what do you have to say for your case?"

"I PLEAD THE FIFTH!" BEWD screeched

"Only the defendant can say tha—" Judge Relin Quished was cut off abruptly

"NO, HE HIT ME, YOU'RE AN IDIOT AND I PLEAD THE FIFTH!"

"…." Quished paused, "Slifer the Sky Dragon, I find you guilty of assaulting a dragon with mental retardation."

"DAFUQ!?"

"Your sentence is to serve 52 hours of community service….."

"Oh, well, that doesn't sound so ba—"

"….In the graveyard."

"Fuck my life."

"Don Ra, I asketh you of a favor…" Summoned Skull solemnly stated.

"What is it? I'm a busy man." Ra replied, he was the Don of the God Mafia

"I need you to improve my defense, it sucks ass."

"I can't do that."

"WHAT!? I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD."

"I don't think so…" A beaver with shades, thinning hair, and a loaded Glock entered the room

"You ain't goin' nowhere." It said, firing a bullet into the skull of the Skull

Summoned Skull dropped and crumbled like an American-built car due to his shitty defense and lack of ligaments.

Slifer had completed his required 52 hours of service, he now laid down in the graveyard, contemplating all the tombstones he had washed.

The Dark Magician Girl approached him, "Slifer!"

"Yes?" he asked

"I just like totally came to tell you that like, your chiropractor, summoned skull, well, he like, totally got killed."

"WHAT!? BY WHO!?"

"Like, beaver warrior."

"That son of Obelisk's bitch….." Slifer flew into the air, "I WILL have my revenge!"

Beaver Warrior sat on a toilet in a McDonald's; he had eaten one of their "Super Ultra Mega Awesome McBigShits" and was now ruining their toilets with bacon-induced diarrhea.

All of a sudden, the walls to the stall, bathroom, and McDonalds all collapsed as the huge red beast gracefully yet violently soared overhead.

"I-I-I…." Beaver warrior stuttered

He had no time to react as the monster grabbed him in his mouth, violently shaking him around before snapping his neck with a single bite, then devouring the rest.

Ra sat on his Private Island, drinking a margarita, when he heard the mighty roar of Slifer in the distance.

'Oh fuck, he's coming for me!' Ra thought, he began flying away, he was too hasty however, and one of his wings was ripped by a rock, he crashed into the ground, "OW, GODDAMNIT, well at least it can't get worse than this…."

That was when he saw them, thousands, no, millions of pairs of tiny, glowing eyes all around him.

They were the Kuribohs.

And they were scavengers.

And they were hungry.

The smallest one of the pack whispered, in an adorable, yet frightening voice,

"…..….Imma rape ya, bitch."