A/N: You lovely reviewers actually gave me the inspiration to continue! Also, I will do my very VERY best to refrain the characters (which are not mine) from swearing. *holds fist on my heart for emphasis*
Oh, and this will have sex gradually, I assure – warn you.
Oh, and another warning. I do not like Elizabeth. Do not fire at me for bashing her throughout the story. I mean, if you want. *sickly sweet smile* I'm not sure where this story's heading, and whether it might or might not turn out successful. But until then, bear with me my lovelies!
Disclaimer: This glorious thing, I still have not acquired and never will.
~A slice of thought, in the consciousness of existence~
I think it was a long time ago, was it? It was at a time like this, yes. This very feeling. Like you don't belong – but you do, but not here. My foster mother had held me down and the white men restrained my wrists. And then I dreamt – no, not dreamt, exactly. It was what you called "flashback" I suppose. But it wasn't either, because I don't remember that happening.
The ones, who were holding me down, had everlasting white dresses.
The ones in the flashback were caked in darkness.
I woke up then, my arms flailing above my head. The white men were doctors and nurses and they told me I was to be put in a hospital for the time being. And then I remember my foster mother rubbing my arms soothingly and then I don't know what next, but she told me to stop crying.
"I don't want to be hospitalized."
"You're not going to be hospitalized."
"You're one of a kind, Luka."
Sometimes, I feel like I remember my parents. My actual parents. But I've never really cared too much. Sometimes, I wanted to embrace my differences from the rest of the kids. How Johnny from Science class didn't know the words jaundice and googolplex and protégé. How things strange revolve around me. One accident led to another. June 22, Johnny and his other burly twin, Jared had chased me to a corner, and I felt caved in, but not scared, just caved in.
That was the first year of being introduced into this world, wasn't it, when this happened? The Officer told me that phrase; being introduced into this world. I don't remember being alive before I turned 13. I digress however, the subject is June 22.
I shut my eye, and they tore off my eye patch then called me a retard then kicked me to the ground. And they kicked me again and again. And they found my eye – my empty eye that hid behind the eye-patch. The one that had no color, no pupil, just a splotch of white. They said they were going to poke a needle into it before something very strange happened.
I didn't know the word exactly.
It wasn't a word, more of a name. Yes, a name. I needed to scream out a name, and I did. I screamed out a name. And then I was laughing until my guts squeezed out, because I opened my eyes and before me were the dead bodies of Johnny and Jared with their guts and blood spilled everywhere.
After the happening, I came home with the smell of urine in my pants. I don't know when that happened but it was before the callings of the name. Because I felt oddly safe when I hid in the corner of one alley and muttered it in my breath 48 times before falling asleep.
I don't remember this name, but whenever I do, I open my eyes to find a trail of dead human scum before me. It had never occurred to me that maybe it had something to do with my past until now. Maybe my name isn't even Luka. Maybe it represented something dark, as dark as the blood that spilled through my veins.
Maybe something was coming. For me, because I am different.
Ciel Phantomhive/Luka Macken, on the end of the first year of the abandonment.
"Forgive me, Lady Elizabeth, but you are still not fit to come." Sebastian gently nudged her back, one arm laid across her back. "The journey may be dangerous, and as the young master still does not know of us, you might take his hurtful words the wrong way."
"But I want to come!" Elizabeth who was now dressed in her finest frilly dress whined. "I dressed for the occasion."
"Foolish brat," Alois piped up and batted off Sebastian's menacing glare. "Phantomhive will be cold without a doubt; the dumb bat doesn't even know his actual name! What makes you think he'll be welcoming us with open arms?"
Sebastian had merely raised an eyebrow in examining Alois. Under the sunshine of his personality, was a growing bite of hatred that was made prominent every year.
"What?" Mey-Rin looked horrified. "So basically, we're kidnapping the young master!?"
"Yeesh, it's not kidnapping when we're bringing him back to where he belongs!" Bard explained.
"I won't let you kidnap young master!" Finny poured his heart out, waving his arms frantically.
Tanaka stayed silent, surprisingly.
Claude sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers. "I didn't expect a whole party, Sebastian."
"Alois, you and I are required to bring him back as you know." Sebastian pointed out. "However, it is not my decision to keep Finnian, Bardroy, Mey-Rin and Lady Elizabeth put."
The young Trancy boy had smoothed his hand over Claude's rough biceps. "You wouldn't be paying more attention to him if he's taller than me now, would you?"
"Aaah! Ciel will be all grown up now! I wonder if he's still cute!" Elizabeth cried.
"Ah-haha!" Finnian beamed. "I bet he'll be nice and caring, but still with a trace of the old master!"
"Going to be a feast when he comes home!" Bard declared, rubbing the back of his head and chuckling.
"Are we really going to be kidnapping him?" Mey-Rin asked.
Claude's eyes narrowed.
Luka had a free period, and five more minutes left to use. Any of the other teenagers in his grade – or perhaps any other grade would have gone home to spend it. But not he, what he found very interesting and what he immersed in himself that left him vaguely amused and satisfied was the nature of humans. Every turn of the high school that he recalls in depression, he finds a couple snuggling and maybe even kissing.
It was all wrong when a female would stick her filthy tongue down a boy's throat. And he'd reply and sloppy sounds would radiate through the aura. They don't even bother to check if other people were watching – as if their romance was only displayed to be watched and to be jealous of, like a museum piece.
Though, the teal haired boy, Luka didn't care about romance. Partly because he found it repulsive and disgusting. Something about the kissing and touching and the partners that made him vomit in his mouth, and how female lips could never fit on another male's.
There came one now, when he was studying the birds and inventing their deaths for them by the large school window with had a ledge to sit on. His posture lazy as he slouched and balanced his head with the palm of his hand. That greenish bird was going to die when it attempts to reach the North, and it will get too hungry and die of exhaustion, he thought.
The couple was leaning on each other as they walked, and the girl giggled as he whispered into his ear. Then they stopped by the window, paying Luka no mind like every other student did.
"Look how pretty those birds are," The girl commented, while pointing to the window.
"They can only dream to be as pretty as you are." The foolish partner eerily commented.
"I wish I was a bird – flying above ground."
"Sometimes, I were too, but I'd decide against it."
"Because you make me fly higher than wings can hope to."
Luka tapped the brink of the glass with mild fascination of the couple, his eyes flickering occasionally to the heated emotion they shared. "Did you know," He spoke aloud, causing the couple to stop their motions and stop to look at him.
"That nearly ten thousand birds die every day from crashing into windows?"
Laughter was sounded through the hallways like a bead getting threaded through before Luka disappeared from the crowd the ending bell drew out. Carl was panting minutes later, having lost sight of the teenager.
From these last three years, the gang had learnt about this peculiar boy. Weird, strange, "retarded" as Johnny once described…every excuse to not let him meddle with school life. Though while skinny and an inch smaller than every other guy, he was fast and agile. And then he'd have a back-up plan, liking using his good-looks to his advantage or…
Carl shuddered. No he wasn't scared. June 22 was just a myth, and a silly one at that.
Luka never got recognized. Not in that way. It was hard to miss him; that aura that surrounds him makes his presence prominent, bold and protruding compared to the dullness of other students.
But when he ever did, it was a girl with a confession. Both figures stood well outside the school grounds, in an abandoned expanse of soil and bushes, and trees and birds fluttering above.
"L-look, Luka…" This particular girl was shakier than the others, Luka had decided. "I know we've never talked to each other besides exchanging one or two words…" Deep swallows. "…I…I have feelings for you and…"
"You want me to return them?" Luka deadpanned. The girl ducked her head in embarrassment, and nodded gently.
"I murdered two people."
The girl stood up straight. "That's just a myth!"
"Do you believe that it was of my intention?"
"Of course not!"
"Then you are foolish; every human is capable of evil."
The girl ducked her sheepish head, her finger itching to twirl the strands of her curly hair, even though she felt hot tears creating a burning sensation in the back of her eyes with the reason of harsh rejection. "That's a rather…" Her voice was quiet. "Wicked way of looking at things. But…
"I don't believe you are!" Her head rose up in eagerness to please the handsome teenager and Ciel was taken aback by the girl's straight forwardness. She continued, "I don't believe that you would hurt or harm anyone!"
Ciel didn't reply, and there was an eerie silence that consisted than no more than of the trees rustlings from the wind. The female, who was actually quite attractive, stared away into the depths of the sky, and for a moment she looked aloof before ducking her head down again. She tilted her head to the side and the glint of her eye shadowed in Ciel's sight.
"You are too nice…," She attempted to reason. "Just a year ago you confided to the class that you suffered from abibliophobia. You are always reading you see, and you have manners and lack of aggressiveness that most boys embrace stupidly – and, and you're intelligent!" Blondie's eyes were pleading, begging. "You're good-looking, good-natured…b-but…
~Abibliophobia: The fear of running out of things to read~
"Why won't you accept me…?" Her words were sincere and heart-breaking, but her tone of voice disappeared into miniscule wavers as she absorbed the angered expression plastered on her classmate's face.
Luka was like a predator – eyeing its prey or something it truly despises. He felt ready to strike but he gazed directly into the female's eyes. For a while, he didn't speak, and then, "Physically or mentally?"
Lindsay. That was her name. Lindsay was flabbergasted; there wasn't any other word for it. Pretty green eyes blinked in hesitation, once, twice, and then she repeated slowly. "What do you mean?"
"You said I would not harm someone." He stood tall and devilish, the cold glint in his eye protruding. "In what sense? Physically, mentally, or…both?"
"Both!" She cried, with no hesitation.
Ciel lowered his eyes, shutting the rest of the world down for five mighty seconds before they focused on blonde locks and glassy tears standing on blue eyes, waiting for their cue to roll down shamelessly. "I understand now." He whispered.
With a soft expanse of palm, he reached for the girl and cupped her soft cheek, alternating the touch into a soft caress when the girl shivered. With a shaky inhale, he leaned in close. "You fascinate me, because you're like every other girl I see. Women are fascinating, men are different, rainbows are far from reality and birds are magnificent. Why is it, that every day, I find rainbows haunting me from each corner?"
Her eyes shut and the tears took their turn.
"I'm sorry." Ciel said with a particular edge to his tone.
Lindsay swallowed, and tossed her head to the side so she didn't have to absorb the heat from his palm anymore. With glossy eyes, she revealed her colors to the boy. "They were right, you know. You grew up in a crooked way – and no one will ever understand you because of that. I don't pity myself, I pity you."
~"I didn't know about that," "Haven't you? It's everywhere now. That Macken guy was found one night with two corpses at his feet, and blood was splattered everywhere." "Oh god, you're freaking me out now! And he's transferring here? What's with his eye-patch anyway?" "Urgh, who knows yeah? Maybe his parents scooped his eyeball out or something." "Haru, hahaha…haha, that's gross! And we shouldn't be making fun of him anyway…maybe he grew up in a crooked way." "…" "He's hot though, isn't he?"~
Luka ambled through the streets alone, this time, thinking long and hard about that particular comment. You grew up in a crooked way. What does that mean anyway? Punctures weren't developed in his spine, and he had the power of internal monologue. Luka's numb hands delved into his pockets to seek warmth and he set forward, the fog grasping his lips until he let them go in an exhale.
Crooked way. How would she know? Every person who still have the ability to breathe out from their lips are still growing up, he thought. People who refuse to acknowledge that are selfish or stupid. Luka Macken did not tolerate in stupidity.
Maybe crooked like the webs produced from those black widow spiders. Their webs protrude from difference and are crooked in a way. Even then, their catches are more efficient and powerful. Wouldn't the majority of humanity want that instead of beauty?
Luka was born thirteen and at a police station. There were kind people. He was full of crookedness and weakness. A rose twirls and grows up from a bud. His face carried the same features of those a human's. Maybe she sensed the darkness that was sheathed among his cold chest. Or elaborated on his poor memory of the years under thirteen. Or maybe it was his weird way of thinking. If only she'd known, that all humans think in the same way. Some choose to meddle the path for glory, and some chose to back away. Luka was none. He simply thought too much.
The teal-haired teenager sought out through books in meanings of life, of humans, of fascinations and hobbies. Yet it was simply not enough. Like something bigger – something better was waiting for him. It was all a code he needed to crack. And a peculiar human like him made his way through that with pocketfuls of darkness. He was a confusing human, many can conclude.
Luka didn't want desires. He didn't want wealth or popularity. He needed something better. And he'd trade every life on the planet for that something.
The last two years, was an example. They were a happy family, once, he remembered. Foster Mother swinging and rocking back and forth on the chair, and Foster Father, his head in his hands in a business manner, sorting out the bills. Now his father was gone, and his mother would do nothing but stare, sleep, eat and watch television. The flaming white sheets that decorated the men said she was in "depression". She wasn't in anything; she was a corpse, to Luka.
All he had was the babysitter, Mariko who cared for him deeply. But he didn't feel the warmth like he had for his Foster Mother and Father. He hadn't felt it in so long. But it wasn't as if he was bitter; in fact, he was decent and polite on some days.
He called them light days.
Let it not be said, that Luka lived on fair-mindedness.
Did rainbows hurt physically or mentally?
Oh, Luka thought, hello there, weird presence that's been following me around.
Actually, if Luka didn't know better, he'd have said that it was a light day today. That was good.
He stopped in his tracks, and spun around, an unimpressed eyebrow raised to disappear under his overly longed bangs. The shadow was getting annoying. He called out; "It's a light day today, don't you think?"
No one replied.
He shook it off and started walking in another direction, coming face to face with a man towering over his height, and with intimidating appearance of two eyes. The slender man's back appeared to be hunched over coolly like one of those uncaring adults, but somehow, it was as straight as a classy billionaire. His face was comforting but somehow, his eyes were not. His hair was long at the front which embraced his handsome face, but somehow it was short at the back. His long neck arched elegantly and the chains of his butler outfit dangled and coiled gracefully but somehow menacingly.
Either way, Luka was saying he couldn't read this man. Said man, was undoubtedly stunning and mysterious. Mysterious and stunning were often good plus points. Pursing his lips, as the man didn't reply (if you didn't count the mildly shocked expression on his face), he decided to repeat his words.
"Isn't it?" Luka prodded on, "Light day…?"
The dark-haired, but fairly pale (Luka forgot to put in that one) adult didn't even blink. "Pardon?" asked he, in that silky voice.
His stance, Luka concluded, answered that he had to be a couple years older than him. A handful maybe. What was it, that faint voice rumbling under his ears that said 'don't talk to strangers' saying?
"It's a light day," He nodded, and then gestured to the sky which was covered in the blotchiness of clouds.
The man's gaze followed upwards as instructed, and his lips moved considerably as he hesitated before answering. "I suppose so…," He answered. "I prefer darker days, on my part."
Luka turned to the male curiously, the dark hollowing out his cheeks. "I wasn't referring to the weather."
Sebastian's eyes became half-lidded as he nods once. "Well, in that case, I do in fact prefer light days."
"As do I," Luke smiled brightly, and if the man flinched, it was because it was rather cold.
"What's your name?" said the man, looming over finally.
"Macken. Luka Macken, and yours?"
"Michaelis. Sebastian Michaelis."He answered.
"Sebastian…" Luka pondered and his gaze moved to a building with oddly patterned flags deeming beneath the roof. "It's an oddly familiar name." He commented, because it really was.
"So is yours." Sebastian smiled briefly, the corners of his mouth edging upwards. Though, Luka concluded, the smile didn't reach his bitter eyes. "Oddly familiar, I mean."
"Hm." Luka replied, before treading forward, all of his past thoughts lost. His ears perked up when he heard faint footsteps on the ground before he realized the man was following him.
"Do you normally go seeking for strangers for no reason?" Michaelis' presence was quite pleasant in a way.
"No." Luka confided. "Do you normally go following strangers for no reason?"
"I won't harm you." He added reassuringly.
Luka closed his eyes, before reopening them with a sultry look in his blue orb. "Physically or mentally?"
The eyelashes that came with a pair of crimson eyes fluttered in amusement. "Both." He answered, when Luka wanted him to say something with the resemblance of 'what do you mean?'
Luka bared his teeth in annoyance, letting out a small irritated sound. A gentle whisper of wind tickled down the bodies of the two males as they continued walking in no direction. Sometimes, life was like that, Luka thought – walking in no direction.
He paid Sebastian no mind until he spoke again. "Where are you going?"
"Nowhere." He answered flatly.
"Ah." Sebastian replied in acknowledgement.
"What are you?"
Sebastian froze. "…a human – like yourself. May I ask why -?"
"I know you're a human. But, what are you?" Luka pondered through the path with his mysterious colleague beside him, the sticky grass grasping, swatting and letting go of their calves through the edges of the side-walk.
"Forgive me, but," The dark man paused in his steps, causing Luka to mimic the action a few steps away from him. "I'm not sure how that applies."
Luka shrugged. "I can't elaborate on it; it just is. Like how dogs would do anything to please their master, and how cats would do anything to be their own master. But somehow…not…" He trailed off, getting lost in a sea of thoughts.
"Haah," Sebastian smiled calmly. "I'm afraid I still do not know how to answer. But in this case, what do you think I am?"
There was a pregnant silence that followed that question; however the duo didn't find it troubling at all. Ciel lifted his gaze to meet the man's eyes, wondering how it was possible to share a comfortable silence when the only person he could do it with, was his now-mute mother. Then the question burst into realization, and he studied the man.
With shaky fingers, he lifted them high enough to caress the demon's face, who stood perfectly still and calm, as if this was everyday business. Though, everyday business was forgotten as Ciel cupped the handsomely thin face and ran his fingers down the pale, cold flesh. A part that both somehow shared shivered in excitement before Luka set his hand down and resumed his past actions.
He shoved his hands into his pockets and murmured, "Seeking."
"Oh?" Sebastian had cleared his throat before he answered, and trailed after the boy. "For what exactly, do you think?"
Luka shrugged. "Something. Someone."
"And what are you?"
Luka stopped in his tracks, and the sky was what stole his vision, gleaming happily but somehow darkly, like the man behind him. The state was fond of birds and the dome that covered was rare to find without birds, but no flying being was hovering that moment. He took a moment to answer. "Lost…" His voice was small and quiet.
He waited for a reply – but when he didn't get one, he swiftly turned around and widened his eyes to find the man gone. "H-hey…" He tried to call out, but his voice was hoarse. The universe that coated him suddenly turned black in his vision and he gasped, a bubble of disgust foaming at the back of his throat and his pupils began to dilate.
A beautiful mistress covered in feathers shot down and landed elegantly on a traffic pole, and Luka regained his ability to focus his vision. It was a crow. Luka admired the shimmering coat of black and intelligence that sparkled through his crimson eyes. It was like getting lost into those plain – but different red orbs, and it was staring back!
The teal-haired boy failed to grasp that moment and in return, the crow shot across him, and he choked when he felt the deadly tips of black feathers tracing across the flesh of his arm.
And suddenly, they were everywhere.
They splattered around the boy, creating a cage like ink blobs dribbled on a page, emphasizing beautiful mistakes. Luka took no notice of the quantity, but it did affect his curiosity, and he found himself staring at a hundred blood red orbs that stared back just as solemnly. The beak of one started to tear itself apart and a cry was emitted from the back of the crow's throat.
Luka screamed as he dropped onto the floor, clutching his ears as the rest of the flock joined into the song. He could understand them…they were cawing, just like normal birds, but he could understand them!
Caw, caw, caw! Into call it, call it, call it!
That's when the young master knew. He felt it before. The name that needed to leave his lips unless he wanted his body to burn. Swallowing reflectively, he cried it out, the one thing that needed to be cried out.
The teenager dropped onto the ground, a smile wide on his face even if the tears of pain came falling down.
Call it, call it, call it….call…me…
He was smiling, because he this was one of time he finally gets to know the name. "Sebastian, Sebastian…Sebastian…" He whispered through his red lips. "Sebastian, Sebastian…Seba—"
He surrendered into the darkness, and in the process, his eyes shut. And so did his lips.
And the last thing he saw, was the blurry outline of a tall, shadowy figure.
[And since I wanted to know where the servants, one whiny bitch and one sexy little blonde were at the time, I decided to ask them!]
"…what the hell is he doing walking alone when there are a plentiful of pedophiles caught from this area?"
"Bard, lower your volume…,"
"…I think he heard us…"
"You know, she's got a point, with him prancing about in that high-school uniform. It's like he's begging to be molested-"
"Earl of Trancy, I will ask you to keep quiet."
"L-lady Elizabeth! I really don't think you should—"
"I AM HIS FIANCÉ! THAT LITTLE WARTHOG CAN GO GRAB HER STINKY LITTLE CONFESSION AND-"
"Please stay calm, Miss Elizabeth. I will not tolerate in profanities uttered by a lady-like mouth."
"What lady-like mouth?"
"Mister Trancy, please."
"BWAAAAH! Young master is still so cute!"
"And he's finally got the ability to enhance my past fetishes."
"Lady Elizabeth, I think we already get the point that he already belongs to you. With all due respect, do stop muttering. It's giving me a slight head ache."
"QUIT SNIGGERING, TRANCY!"
"Hmph. To be perfectly honest, I'm beginning to feel pity for Ciel if he has to put up with you every day of his life."
"U-uh…please, stop fighting…I'm sure we can deal-"
"Agreed. Take it back."
"That wasn't what I was trying to-"
"Take it back NOW or I'll kick your smug face until it bleeds-"
"Wow, I'm flattered."
"OK…maybe that came out wrong…"
"Maybe you came out wrong."
"Oh quit groaning, Claude!"
"Maybe you need to quiet down."
"Maybe you need to take that comment and shove it up your frilly dress."
"Sebastian, can't you hear what he's saying!?"
"Quiet down, Miss Elizabeth."
"He needs to wake up and start humping the right blond."
"You heard me."
"I'm going to report all of this to my mother. The lady."
A/N: It's your choice whether you want that ^ to be part of the story or an extra. I just wanted an excuse to see both little blonds fighting over ickle Ciel. (…Boo Lizzy) OK, so just to keep you guys calm, there ofcourse won't be any Ciel/Elizabeth. …Just a slight Ciel/Alois…*ducks down to avoid getting hit*
But the main and ALL AROUND is Ciel/Sebastian. Mmkays?
A GREAT BIG THANKS TO OTPdrarryOTP, imotakubro, promocat, WwLOLwW, xXJunchou12Xx and PerpetualDelusion…..and none for yaoi cause she's a botch. C:
Thanks for all the reviews! LOVE YA ALL, LITTLE MASTERS ALL AROUND THE WORLD.
Teaser [or not]: "Hopefully", we'll see Soma and Agni next yao. Woot.