I sat across the table from Dan, in his favourite pizza restaurant. His mood seemed to be improving but he still seemed down. His phone had buzzed at least ten times since we had sat down at our table, I spent ten minutes trying to built up the courage to ask him what was wrong. I know how stupid that sounds but I don't want to seem interfering.
"Dan, are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm just tired and Leah won't stop texting" He said tucking into a new slice of pizza.
"I thought you liked her?" I asked him.
"Yeah I guess, but there's just no spark" He answered, looking down at his food.
"Well you haven't been going out for long" I tried to reassure him, no matter how much it hurt.
"It's been months Phil" He drawled.
My heart jumped, but at the same time I knew that if it wasn't Leah it would just be some other girl. Dan wasn't gay, he likes girls, he'd always liked girls. I had to admit that there was no chance, he was never going to feel the same way. The thought of coming out scared me, would Dan act differently towards me? And what would Pj and Chris and all my other friends think? The thought made me slightly nauseous.
I turned round to Dan clicking his fingers in my face.
"Wow you were completely out of it there" Dan said.
"Erm, sorry" I said.
"C'mon let's go get drunk" He said throwing money on the table and standing up.
"Dan we can't just go get drunk" I told him.
"Well why not?" He said and then walked off.
-An Hour Later-
I sat watching Dan knock back a beer, this was his third one along with some vodka shots. Needless to say he was suitably drunk. Whereas I was barely through my second beer, someone had to carry Dan home.
"Phil can we go get a Chinese?" he asked innocently.
"Dan we only had pizza" I told him.
"Please Phil" He said giving me puppy dog eyes.
I looked into his big brown eyes, eyes that would make me do anything for Dan.
I shook my head and steered him towards the train station, he walked reasonably obediently bar the odd song from High school musical every so often. I couldn't help but laugh at my drunk friend. Quickly, I ushered Dan onto our train and into the seat beside me. We had a thirty minute train ride.
We sat in silence for fifteen minutes, which was almost a relief after his singing. I checked my phone and scrolled through my mentions. Suddenly I felt Dan's head fall into my shoulder and quiet snores come from beside me. I tilted my head to look at him, deep asleep on my shoulder. A smile creeped up upon my face and a warm feeling radiated in my stomach – I couldn't help but feel like this is how it was supposed to be.
After dragging Dan off the train and up the steps home, I helped him to his room. Where he then decided to make a video about how much we loved me, which although made me smile at the time I knew Dan would regret it in the morning. I considered helping him get changed but it didn't seem like a great idea. I stood in his doorway as he crawled into bed and collapsed face down.
"Phil?" He said just as I was about to close the door.
"Yes Dan?" I replied.
"I can't sleep" He said, almost child-like. "Come and sit with me".
He pulled back his covers and patted his mattress.
"Dan..." I said, trying to stop myself from immediately jumping into bed with him.
After he flashed me the puppy dog eyes a couple of times I found myself next to him, claiming I was only staying for a couple of minutes. Like I said, I just couldn't resist those eyes. Before I knew it, he was asleep: curled up into my side. And I was dozing off with heavy eyes, how could I leave now?
Pounding headache, blurry eyes – someone next to me. My blurry awakening was sped up as I realized someone was next to me. I was curled up next to someone and it was Phil.
I nudged him and watched him slowly open his eyes and stretch out. He seemed calm until he noticed where he was.
"Yeah, hi Phil. So erm, why are you in my bed?" I asked him.
"Oh because you were drunk and you wanted me to keep you company and then I must have fell asleep" He said.
My cheeks burned red, I was an embarrassing drunk – I knew that already. I dreaded to think what else I did last night.
"Oh god, what else did I do?" I asked.
"Well you tried to make a video on your laptop confessing your love for me, luckily I confiscated your laptop" He smiled, handing me my laptop back.