It's been about two months since Austin and I said our 'I love you's'. We haven't talked much since then. It's just been awkward between us. We probably would have ceased talking altogether if we didn't have any mutual classes... and if we weren't chemistry partners... and if I wasn't tutoring Austin... I wish he would just start being mean to me again! It would make life a whole lot easier! I sigh and continue to my next class. I sit down.
"Hey, Ally, Austin wanted me to give—" Dez starts but I cut him off.
"Please don't talk to me about Austin. I'm not even in the mood right now," I snap.
"He just wanted me to give you a note," he says. He casually throws it onto my desk and takes out his phone. I glance at Mrs. West before throwing the note in the trash... Curiosity gets the best of me though and I take it back out. I open it up and look down at Austin's messy handwriting.
Of course he starts off with the stupid nickname he always called me.
—I miss you.—
—Why don't we ever talk anymore? I mean, I know we talk and all but why don't we ever talk like we used to? I know you miss our late night talks...—
I bite my lip as all of our conversations come flooding back to me.
-and how I would bite your lip when we kissed...-
The irony. I start chewing on my hair.
—and how I would whisper in your ear...—
A shiver runs down my spine as I imagine it.
—and how I would sing to you when you couldn't sleep...—
I stop reading there. How can he just spring that on me? I do miss that... A lot.
—I can't come over for my lesson today but can you come to my house tonight? Around 8:00?—
No. No, I can't.
Love. I throw the note back on Dez's desk, furious with it.
"Can I read it?" he asks, picking it up.
"No! Don't read it!" I yell, snatching it from his hands. Everyone turns to stare at me. Even Mrs. West. My face turns red and I sink down in my char, shoving the note into my pocket. Everyone goes about their business and I just sit there with my head down for the rest of the period.
I walk to French with my head down. There are a few people who still believe the rumors and those few can still get to my head. I walk as quickly as I can to French and hope Austin went home sick or something. Of course he didn't, though. He runs a hand through his hair and looks over at me.
"Did you get my note?" he asks. I toss it at him.
"Yes, I did," I snap.
"Ally, what is wrong with you? What did I ever do to—?" He stops himself. He knows damn well what he's done. "Okay, um, lemme rephrase...: what did I do to you three months ago? What made you suddenly hate me?" he asks. What did he do?
"You're the one who would put the elephant in the room every time we were near each other," I tell him.
"Really, Ally? I don't have an elephant. How am I supposed to fit one into the room anyway?" he asks. I roll my eyes.
"It's a metaphor," I say.
"So will you?" he asks.
"Will I what?" I ask him.
"Will you come over tonight?" he asks. I sigh.
"I don't know," I tell him. Should I? I'll have to think about it. "Why can't you just start being mean again? Don't you need it?" I ask.
"Yeah, I do, but I haven't, have I?" he asks.
"Well, will you? Please?" I beg. If he's mean, it'll make me not miss him as much.
"Fine... wh-whore," he says. I feel my hatred towards him returning.
"Thanks, Blondie," I say. He's hesitant to be rude to me for the rest of the day. I sit down on my bed after I finish my homework and look at the clock. 7:45.
I miss you. Why don't we ever talk anymore? I mean, I know we talk but why don't we ever talk like we used to? I know you miss our late night talks... and how I would bite your lip when we kissed... and how I would whisper in your ear... and how I would sing to you when you couldn't sleep... I can't come over for my lesson today but can you come to my house? Around 8:00?
I grab my jacket and walk downstairs.
"Where are you going?" my mom asks me.
"I'm going to Austin's house," I tell her.
"Oh, no you're not. There's supposed to be a blizzard tonight," she tells me.
"A blizzard?" I ask. She nods. I sigh and walk back to my room. Should I call him or something...? No, that's what he wants me to do. I do want to talk to him though... I take out my phone and call him. He rejects the call. I sigh and put my phone down. At least he's doing what I asked him to. I really regret my wish. I shouldn't though. It'll help me get over him.
There was no blizzard last night so I had to go to school the next day. Austin was as cold as ever and I'm kind of relieved for that. After school, he comes over like he always does. Now he's stretched out on my bed like he owns the place.
"Austin, we need to study. Pay attention," I snap.
"I'll do that when you give me a blow job," he tells me.
"I thought I explained that. I am never ever giving you a blow job!" I yell.
"What's going on up here?" my mom asks, walking into my room.
"Nothing, Mom. Austin might be leaving a bit sooner than usual," I say, closing my French textbook and dropping it onto my desk irritatedly.
"Okay, I'll call his parents and tell them to come," my mom says. Austin sits up and sits against the wall that my bed is pushed up against.
"No, Mrs. Dawson, Ally was just joking," Austin tells her. She smiles and leaves my room, closing the door behind her.
"Don't you want to go home?" I ask.
"Do you know how boring it is at my house?" he asks.
"Are you going to pay attention or will I have to push you off of my balcony?" I ask. I pick up my textbook and sit down on my bed. I feel Austin's weight shift on my bed. He's breathing down my neck now. He wraps his arms around my waist from behind.
"You know you miss this," he whispers in my ear. My eyes slide shut and my head falls backwards onto his shoulder. "I know you're weak. You'll give in soon. Just say the words and I'll stop being so mean. I'll be all yours again." At this, I open my eyes and raise my head to the regular position.
"No," I say firmly. He kisses my neck and I moan. I yank my head away from him and stand up. "We need to study for the test on Friday."
"You remember that time that I got a kiss every time I got something right?" he asks. My cheeks get hot but I nod anyway.
"How about every time I get something right, you give my dick a suck?" he asks.
"Hell to the fucking no," I snap.
"Well then I'm not studying," he says stretching back out on my bed.
"Then get outta my house," I say. He sighs.
"Fine, I'll study but only 'cause I don't wanna go home," he says. I smile. We start studying and Austin's pretty cooperative until we're almost finished.
"Austin, stop it," I say. I shove him away from me but he doesn't go far. He pulls me into his lap and locks his arms around me.
"Austin, let me go," I demand, struggling and trying to hit him.
"Nah, I'm good," he says. He shrugs. I sigh. I sink into him and wait for him to let me go.
"Ah, come on, whore. It's no fun unless you don't like it," he tells me.
"I don't like it," I mutter.
"Well, it's not fun unless you're trying to stop me," he says.
"What's the point? You're too strong," I mumble. He slowly releases me. The doorbell rings downstairs.
"Bye," I say, closing my book and standing up. He doesn't move. "Well?" I ask, tapping my foot.
"I love you, Als," he tells me, leaving my room. That was the meanest of all. I shake my head and try to ignore it. The next day at school was even worse. As I walk into chemistry, I see Austin's already there, sitting with his feet in my chair.
"Move your feet," I say.
"Oh, 's'up, babe?" he asks me. We never officially broke up so I guess he still has the right to call me that. I roll my eyes and shove his feet out of my chair. I brush the dirt from his stupid, yellow converse off of it and sit down. He puts his feet in my lap.
"Is this really necessary?" I ask, gesturing to his feet.
"I need somewhere to put 'em," he says.
"How about the floor?" I suggest, moving his feet again.
"Austin, Ally, pay attention," Mr. Baldwin snaps at us. I turn my attention to the front. He teaches us how to make some kind of experiment. Apparently, it'll take twice as long so we're going to make it tomorrow.
"Tomorrow will be the last experiment—!" Everyone cheers as he says this. "You didn't let me finish. Tomorrow will be the last experiment of the month!" he yells.
"Aw," everyone says sadly.
"But after that experiment, we have Christmas vacation!" he exclaims. Everyone cheers again. The bell rings. "Class is dismissed." I walk up to Mr. Baldwin's desk when everyone leaves.
"Mr. Baldwin, is there any way that I can change partners?" I ask him.
"You heard me on the first day, Ms. Dawson. Austin's your permanent partner for the year," he tells me.
I regret my decision more and more each day. But I won't give in. I refuse to. I'm Allyson Marie Dawson and there is one thing that Allyson Marie Dawson is not! She is not weak! Why is she talking in the third person? She is going to stop now...
As I sit in Pre-Calculus with Austin and Trish copying off of my already-finished paper, I think... Maybe I could go back to hating his guts. That shouldn't be too hard. Should it? It seems easy for him. That's another thing that makes me mad. It was so easy for him to slip back into his old ways. Too easy. It's like he really did hate me these past few months and he was just covering it up. I sigh frustratedly.
"What's wrong, Ally?" Trish whispers to me. I jerk my head in Austin's direction. She nods in understanding and when he looks back to finish his copying, Trish gives him the dirtiest look she can manage. He copies down the last answer and taps his pencil on his desk.
After a minute, he takes out a piece of paper and starts to write something down. He folds it up and throws it back onto my desk. Again, my curiosity forces me to open it.
Those four little words. Are they really so hard to say?
I crumble it up and throw it at the back of his head. He turns around.
"Are they?" he mouths. I shake my head. He turns back around faces the front. When he doesn't pick up the note, I bend down, pick it up, and throw it away. I don't like litter. When the bell rings, I rush to my next class absentmindedly.
I walk into World History and sit down in my usual desk. I take out my textbook and begin to read it. After I've read through that page, I turn it... but there's no more pages. Have I really read the whole book? Dez nudges me.
"What? Did Austin give you another note to give me?" I ask. Why can't he just give these to me earlier in the day? We have a bunch of classes together. I mean, really. Really. To my surprise, Dez shakes his head.
"Actually, I wanted to know if you could tell Trish to come find me between this period and the next," he tells me.
"I'll do that as soon as possible," I promise him. After this period is over, I walk to locker number 382. I put my books in and shut the locker door. I turn around and see Austin walking off the school grounds toward the woods. His little drinking session. I roll my eyes in disgust at it. I see Trish walking down the hall and I run to her.
"Hey, Dez wants you to—"
"Hey, Trish," Dez says, walking up and putting his arm around her. "Thanks, Ally but I found her!" He smiles proudly.
"Awesome. I'll see you two later," I tell them. As I walk back to my locker (I put some books in but didn't take any out), I hear Dez say a few words that I don't like.
"Hey, you wanna go somewhere with me?" he asks.
Here's the new story. A.K.A the winner of the poll! I finally got to upload a sequel! Wheeeeee! … … … Oh, gosh, it's a sequel. I don't know if this was such a good idea... Anyhoodles, review!