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stay with me girl, we can rule the world
a trial & retribution fanfiction


Her life is the definition of hell. A loveless marriage to a violent man who doesn't think twice about marking her, making her his property, his possession. She's not a wife, she's a slave and a mother. A mother to a child too scared to do what's considered normal for a child of four.

A child who hides underneath her bed, with her teddy bear and repeats the prayer they have to say at school. She tries to block out the screams of her mother as her father beats the shit out of her again and again and again until she's unconscious, covered in blood on the living room floor.

She closes her eyes and her ears to it all, (See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.)

Of course, she'd never dream of repeating what she's heard. It'll be wonderful wouldn't it? Can you picture the scene? Sitting at the breakfast table at school, a piece of toast in her hand, her teacher asking why she's so quiet this morning as she swings her legs forwards and backwards.

Can you imagine the conversation? ("Why are you so quiet?")

("Daddy's beating the shit out of mummy. She's a piece of shit, she's fucking useless.")

Can you imagine those disgusting words been spoken by an innocent, (far from innocent) four year old girl in breakfast club?

No, I didn't think so, let's pretend it doesn't happen. Let's pretend there's a perfectly resonable explanation of why four year old Katie screams and hits the other children, why she's always angry and afraid. Why four year old Katie flinches whenever an adult shouts nearby.

Let's pretend abuse doesn't exist. (See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.)

Roisin tries hard, really she does. She tries to shield her daughter from it as much as possible. Their daughter's either in another room or playing outside in the garden whilst her husband, (loved and respected) throws her around and the food she's just cooked because it's not good enough.

She's not good enough he tells her. She'll never be good enough. Slowly, piece by piece, bit by bit, he breaks her apart. Shatters her confidence, makes her believe that she will never be loved. Any hope she had, any dream, any thoughts of happiness are long gone. They've disappeared into the night.

Every time she gets the confidence to leave, he breaks her apart and she's back at square one.

And you know what's funny? Really funny? She's a Detective and she's not meant to be afraid of anything.

But she is. She's afraid of him, afraid for their daughter's safety, afraid of what he might do to her. How can their daughter ever grow up in a house like this? One parent raising the hand to another, the other unconscious. The daughter, left to hide and fend for herself against a man who's meant to love her.

A man who hates her just as much as her mother.

Nobody really spots the bruises when she's at work. He's clever, he marks her where nobody will see. Sometimes though, people do notice and they question where she's got the bruise and she just smiles and lies. A perfectly rehersed excuse which is becoming second nature to her, she doesn't even have to think anymore.

All she really wants to do is sit down and tell someone.

Talk, talk, talk. Tell someone that he's hurting her and she's afraid for Katie's safety.

But can you imagine the conversation? ("So how are you today?")

("Not good, Robbie's beating me up. I think he's going to start hurting Katie.")

The conversation will never happen so let's pretend abuse doesn't exist. Let's close our eyes, cover our ears and pretend that there's no such thing as domestic violence. Or even if we witness it, let's turn a blind eye and pretend it's normal.

He goes too far one night. He hits Katie, sends her flying across the living room, knocks her into the glass cabinet. Her baby girl is screaming, surrounded by glass, a slap mark around the face. She knows she has to go, she has to leave him now.

This is her daughter we're talking about. She doesn't need to be abused too.

He batters her first before he leaves for the pub with his friends. She's broken and bruised and bloodied but she finds the strength within her to leave. She takes Katie by the hand and whispers that there's a big wide world out there, a world for them both to explore.

She's scared, there's no denying it. Every footstep, every shadow she sees and hears has her heart in the back of her throat. She keeps asking herself the same question, what if he finds her? He'll kill her. God, he's said it plenty of times. He's said he'll kill her if she leaves him.

They reach the end of their adventure. They're stood outside a house and she has to calm herself down and tell herself over and over again that this is it. The hell can finally be over and perhaps Roisin will realise that a heaven does exist after all.

She can't however bring herself to press the doorbell. Her daughter stares up at her, blue eyed, fingers entwined with her mother wondering what's happening. Roisin meets her daughter's gaze. She notices the hurt and the anger as well as the fear, takes a deep breath and pressed the doorbell once.

She hopes he's home.


jottings — wow, i need to stop writing so much haha. if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review. dedicated to; abbey and checky because one, it was abbey's birthday (happy belated birthday!) and two, they're both bloody amazing girlies. ily lots. :3