This is crack. So much crack. And cheese. Cheesy crack. Enjoy.

Happy Birthday, Cupcake


The officer whispered through the bars of the door. When the prisoner didn't respond, he barked louder.

"Murphy! Get up!"

That earned the officer a grumble, at least, but Murphy continued to lie there. Sighing, the officer rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, Murph. Can't lay on your ass all night."

At that, Murphy turned over on his mattress and stared crossly at the harassing officer at his cell door. It had become something of a routine of Sewell's to wake Murphy up at odd hours of the night, but that didn't mean he couldn't still be mad about it.

"Piss off, Sewell," Murphy bit back in a low tone, earning himself a lopsided smile from the offending man.

"C'mon, Murph, don't be like that," Sewell chided, quietly adding, "You know it hurts my feelings."

Murphy only narrowed his eyes in response. Sewell's smile widened.

"Back to being silent and brooding as ever, huh?" Sewell quipped, "We really should stop meeting like this. You know—"

"What do you want, Sewell?" Murphy growled, cutting the officer off. He sat up, accepting the fact that he wasn't going to be allowed to go back to sleep before Sewell got whatever it was he had come for.

"Would you believe I just dropped by to say hello?"


"Fine, you caught me," Sewell held his hands up in a mock-surrender, "I just wanted to thank you for that little favor the other day."

Murphy simply stared at him skeptically, like he couldn't believe the words were coming out of his mouth.

"You really think that little of me, Murph?" Sewell's smile fell into an almost comical frown. When Murphy offered nothing in response, Sewell rolled his eyes again, this time with a mixture of disbelief and impatience. "You have no idea what day it is, do ya?"

Murphy sat and thought about it for a moment before he shrugged and shook his head. "I dunno, Wednesday? Thursday? Why does it matter?"

"It's your birthday, Murphy."


There were a few drawn out moments of silence during which Sewell smirked at Murphy through the bars, as if waiting for something.

"And?" Murphy prompted irritably.

"And I brought you something."

Murphy eyed Sewell through the door, half expecting it to be a joke.

"Oh," he finally supplied lamely.

"Yeah, 'oh,'" Sewell mocked, "So, do you want it or not?"

"I can't believe you sometimes, Sewell," Murphy said, almost inaudibly.

"I'm gonna take that as a 'yes.'"

Murphy stared silently at the ground, trying not to let himself think about what Sewell could possibly be bringing back, as he listened to the officer's footsteps retreat. A few minutes later, there was the audible click of his cell door opening, telling him that the officer had made it to the control room and would be back shortly. Sure enough, a few more minutes passed and Murphy could hear Sewell's footsteps approaching.

"So Murph," Sewell said as he sauntered through the now-opened door to Murphy's cell, producing a small, white box, "Happy Birthday."

Despite himself, Murphy felt his lips pull upwards into a small smile as the officer placed the small box into his outstretched hands.

"I didn't think to wrap it, and, no, I'm not gonna sing for you, so don't even ask," Sewell teased.

"Wasn't going to," Murphy snorted, eyes moving from Sewell to the box in his hands.

What Murphy had expected to find, he had no idea, but what he was looking at took him completely by surprise. Reaching in, he carefully extracted a pink frosting adorned cupcake, complete with little, rainbow sprinkles.

"A cupcake—"

"For my cupcake," Sewell offered thickly. When Murphy looked up at the officer again, there was a lopsided smirk on his face once more, though he dared not think what it entailed.

Murphy looked away first, unable to tolerate the smirk on Sewell's face and the glint in his eye.

"You know, Murph," Sewell spoke quietly, "the floor's mine to patrol tonight."


"S'right. And I think the rest of the floor'll be just fine if I'm a bit… preoccupied for a little while."

Despite himself yet again, Murphy smiled again. Damn smirk was contagious.

"I can't believe you sometimes, Sewell."

The officer reached out and took the cupcake, along with the box, out of Murphy's hands and set it on the table across the cell.

"Yeah, you keep saying that, cupcake," Sewell said throatily from across the room before turning and closing the space between them.

Apologies for the cheese and fluff. Hope it was worth the read~