ThePeetaSpecial has sent you a flirt on 07/15/2012.

ThePeetaSpecial? Is this guy serious? I should just ignore it – delete the message and continue browsing this website that I agreed to pay $11.99 a month to because I'm that desperate for a fucking date. I'll just check his profile. If he doesn't fit what I'm looking for, then I'll ignore it.

Age: 50
Gender: Male
Height: 5ft10in
Relationship Status: Never Married
Smoking: Non-smoker
Body Type: Athletic
Hair: Blond
Eyes: Blue
Occupation: Baker
Looking For: Marriage
Children: None
Pets: Dog

Looking for marriage. There's the buzz kill. His picture doesn't look so bad, though. Maybe I'll just send a flirt back as a reward for those gorgeous blue eyes. Then again, the picture is just his face. What if the rest of him isn't as appealing? He may say he has an athletic build, but I've learned not to believe everything these guys say. He probably weighs more than five of me put together; he is a baker after all, and I bet he has a hairy back.

Oh, what the hell…

You have sent a flirt to ThePeetaSpecial on 07/15/2012.

Maybe that'll be enough to satisfy him, and he can go off and send more flirts to other women that may also be looking for marriage over the internet, but if he's looking for that from me, he is barking up the wrong tree.

Message from: ThePeetaSpecial
Sent: 07/15/2012
Subject: Hey
Message: Thanks for the flirt. How are you?

So much for the flirt satisfying him. At least he isn't getting creepy… yet, like that one guy that was asking for nude pictures before I even answered him.

Send message to: ThePeetaSpecial
Sent: 07/15/2012
Subject: Re: Hey
Message: Thanks for sending me one first. I'm good… you?

I hope that first sentence doesn't come off as flirty; I just didn't want to be rude. Oh, fuck… there he is again. Doesn't he have cupcakes to bake or something? I guess the same could be said for me though; I'm sitting here replying quickly too.

Message from: ThePeetaSpecial
Sent: 07/15/2012
Subject: Re: Hey
Message: Can't complain, especially after reading your profile. Personal trainer, huh? Impressive.

Here we go. He's opening that door to talk about my body. I should change my profile and take my job off of there, maybe it'll keep these fucking perverts away.

Age: 50
Height: 5ft3in
Relationship Status: Never married
Smoking: Non-smoker
Body Type: Athletic
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Gray
Occupation: Personal Trainer/Nutritionist
Looking For: Casual relationship
Children: None
Pets: None

At least he didn't talk about being a 50 year old personal trainer. I'm really fucking tired of hearing how crazy that one is.

Message to: ThePeetaSpecial
Sent: 07/15/2012
Subject: Re: Hey
Message: Yep. Since college. I'm surprised you didn't make some remark on my age. Everyone does.

I should have changed the subject. Or ignored him. I don't even know why I'm still entertaining this guy, I'm only going to disappoint him in the end when I tell him he's not what I'm looking for and he's not what I need. I don't have time to get serious with anyone, but I don't want to become a nun either.

Message from: ThePeetaSpecial
Subject: Re: Hey
Message: Why would I say something like that? I'm sure your job keeps you young. Mine does.

What the hell would a baker have to do to stay young? Crack eggs into a bowl? Maybe if I call him out he'll leave me alone.

Message to: ThePeetaSpecial
Sent: 07/15/2012
Subject: Re: Hey
Message: How does working at a bakery keep you young?

There. Explain that one, Muffin Man. He probably sits around eating pastries all day.

Message from: ThePeetaSpecial
Sent: 07/15/2012
Subject: Re: Hey
Message: Contrary to popular belief, I don't sit around eating pastries all day. In fact, I don't even have a stock person hired. I move all supplies myself. Bulk sized bags of flour are just as good as benching 150lbs.

Well damn. I didn't even know they made bulk bags of flour. And he doesn't have a stock person hired? He sounds pretty important at that bakery.

Message to: ThePeetaSpecial
Sent: 07/15/2012
Subject: Re: Hey
Message: So you're in charge of hiring at the bakery? Are you a manager or something?

I'm going to take a shower. Let him wait a little while for me to read his message and reply. I don't want him to think I'm sitting around waiting for his messages, though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. He wants marriage, Katniss. Stop. Go take your shower.

Message from: ThePeetaSpecial
Sent: 07/15/2012
Subject: Re: Hey
Message: I own the bakery.

Well that was right to the point. I'll send one more message and then I'm going to bed. I'm not going to be dragging ass with my client at 6am just so I can talk to ol' blue eyes here.

Message to: ThePeetaSpecial
Sent: 07/15/2012
Subject: Re: Hey
Message: I didn't realize you owned a bakery. I thought when your profile said baker that you maybe worked at Panera for a few months and started calling yourself one. I'm going to turn in for the night. I have a training session at 6am. Goodnight.

Why did I just tell him I was going to bed? He doesn't need to know that. I should have let him stew for a while and wonder why I'm not answering him.

Message from: ThePeetaSpecial
Sent: 07/16/2012
Subject: Good Morning
Message: Good morning. I hope you have a nice day. Don't work too hard ;)

This guy cannot be serious. I think it's time to cut this one off.

Message to: ThePeetaSpecial
Sent: 07/16/2012
Subject: Re: Good Morning
Message: You did notice that my profile says I'm only looking for casual relationships, right? I don't want you to think I'm leading you on or anything, but I'm not looking for anything serious.

There. Now maybe he'll fuck off and stop sending me good morning messages. Jesus, who does he think he is, Casanova?

Message from: ThePeetaSpecial
Sent: 07/16/2012
Subject: Re: Good Morning
Message: Yes, I know that. Don't worry… you're not the only person I'm talking to.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I should just stop right here. Let him go talk to those other bitches.

ThePeetaSpecial wants to chat with you.

Oh my God. What the hell is this now? Messages weren't enough?

ThePeetaSpecial: Hey
Keverdeen62: Hi
ThePeetaSpecial: How's your evening going?
Keverdeen62: Not so bad. Very tired though. How about yours?
ThePeetaSpecial: Pretty painless. Do you want me to let you go? You said you're tired.
Keverdeen62: No it's fine. I have laundry drying that I have to wait for.
ThePeetaSpecial: Ok.

How the hell do I answer that? Why did he even start this chat if he isn't going to talk?

Keverdeen62: So why do you keep talking to me if you know I don't want anything serious?
ThePeetaSpecial: I don't know. You're the only one that seems real. And I'd like to get to know you despite the difference in what we're looking for.
Keverdeen62: Ok.

Now it's my turn to look like an ass. That's smooth, Katniss. Real smooth.

ThePeetaSpecial: What's it like being a personal trainer?
Keverdeen62: It's not bad. I get to boss people around.
ThePeetaSpecial: Do you like being bossy?

Is that flirting? I should probably be offended. Normally, I'd be offended which is stupid since this is a dating site, but that's a pretty ballsy thing to ask someone that you've know over the internet for a little more than 24 hours… I kind of like it.

Keverdeen62: Sometimes. You said you can move bulk size bags of flour by yourself. How big is a bulk sized bag of flour?
ThePeetaSpecial: I order the 50lb bags and can usually move 3 of them at a time.
Keverdeen62: If you can lift that much at once you should have a full body shot on your profile.
ThePeetaSpecial: Is that your way of asking to see one?

He's smart, this one.

Keverdeen62: Only if you're willing to show me one.
ThePeetaSpecial: I could e-mail you one.

That would require me giving you my e-mail address. It's not like it's my home address, but I can avoid him easier if we contain the communication to website only. I do want to see his body though. It's been so long since I've seen a nice one that belongs to someone my age. I should start offering AARP card discounts for new clients.

Keverdeen62: keverdeen62
ThePeetaSpecial: Clever.
Keverdeen62: Says the guy calling himself ThePeetaSpecial.
ThePeetaSpecial: You got me there. The picture is sent.

That was fast. He's smart and eager… and wants marriage. I can't forget that one. He wants marriage. One new e-mail from a Peeta Mellark, who is shirtless in this picture and built like a brick shithouse. Why the hell is this guy on a dating website? He could have any woman he wanted. And he probably does. Maybe that's the problem. How many others did he send that picture to? Maybe that marriage thing is just a ploy to lure in the romantics. They're much easier to get into bed. And now he has your e-mail address. Great job, Katniss.

Keverdeen62: You have no business being on a website trying to find a woman.
ThePeetaSpecial: Is that a compliment?
Keverdeen62: You can say that.
ThePeetaSpecial: Well you're not so bad yourself.
Keverdeen612: Thank you…
ThePeetaSpecial: The scowl works for you. I like a challenge.

Go on, Katniss - take offense like you always do. This is the point where you tell him to go fuck himself if he doesn't like what he sees. But he does like what he sees; he just has a strange way of saying it. A strange way that could easily be offensive if his eyes weren't so perfectly blue and innocent.

Keverdeen62: Is that right? How am I a challenge?
ThePeetaSpecial: Not wanting marriage.
Keverdeen62: That will never change.
ThePeetaSpecial: See, a challenge. If I wanted to tell my buddies that I'm on a dating website, this would be the moment that I tell them "I'm going to marry that woman."

Smart, eager, and arrogant.

Keverdeen62: You don't even know me.
ThePeetaSpecial: I know enough.
Keverdeen62: I don't see how you can. Unless you're looking in my window right now.
ThePeetaSpecial: Don't worry, I'm not that weird.

Well you sound pretty damn weird right now, Peeta Mellark. I should probably stop this before it gets any stranger.

ThePeetaSpecial: Are you there?
Keverdeen62: Yeah… sorry.

So much for that.

ThePeetaSpecial: So what does the K stand for? I'm assuming your last name is Everdeen?
Keverdeen62: Yeah, it is.
ThePeetaSpecial: What's the K? Krystal? Kandy?
Keverdeen62: Do you think I'm a stripper or something?
ThePeetaSpecial: Just trying to take a guess. Come on… you know my name, it's only fair you tell me yours.

So you can look me up and murder me? Not if I murder him first. What the fuck, Katniss? Go the fuck to sleep, you psycho.

ThePeetaSpecial: I really am harmless. Maybe this is why I can't get dates… I scare them off.

Oh hell.

Keverdeen62: Katniss.
ThePeetaSpecial: Unique. I like that. Would it be too forward to say it was also sexy?
Keverdeen62: Maybe, but it's alright.

Sure you've only known me for a day on the internet, but go ahead and tell me my name's sexy. That's really sane. But his body…

Keverdeen62: Would it be too forward if I said you have an amazing body?

You're doing a piss poor job of getting this guy to go away. In fact, you're doing the exact opposite. Admit it; you don't want him to go away.

ThePeetaSpecial: Maybe to some, but not to me.
Keverdeen62: Is that what "The Peeta Special" is?
ThePeetaSpecial: No, that's something else…

Great, now he's got you thinking about his dick. This is a slippery slope you're on, Katniss. Don't think about anything slippery right now.

Keverdeen62: Oh really?

Wrong answer!

ThePeetaSpecial: We'll have to meet up for you to learn more about it.

Now THAT is incredibly forward. Eight months, Katniss. It has been eight months since you got laid. Go ahead, look at his picture again.

Keverdeen62: Slow down there, Muffin Man…
ThePeetaSpecial: Did you just call me Muffin Man?
Keverdeen62: Yeah… sorry about that.
ThePeetaSpecial: I like it. You've given me a pet name.

This is not at all how the evening was supposed to go. Now my laundry has been sitting in the dryer for two hours and will be wrinkled by the time I go get them out. Admit it though, Katniss… you do want to meet this guy, even if you have only known him a little over 24 hours.

Keverdeen62: How many other girls have you asked to meet up with?
ThePeetaSpecial: Only you.
Keverdeen62: I have trouble believing that one.
ThePeetaSpecial: I promise.
Keverdeen62: Then you must be hiding something. How old is this picture you sent me? I'll agree to meet you and only then find out you've actually gained 40lbs since the picture was taken.
ThePeetaSpecial: I took it a month ago.
Keverdeen62: Then tell me two things… How have you gone all these years without some woman snatching you up and why haven't you asked anyone else to meet you?
ThePeetaSpecial: Because nobody has made a lasting impression on me. Not until you.

Flattery should be getting him nowhere… but I'm afraid it's going to get him everywhere.

Keverdeen62: That still doesn't make me want to marry you.
ThePeetaSpecial: I'd be scared if it did. I'm just being honest.
Keverdeen62: Well thank you.
ThePeetaSpecial: What about you? Why didn't you ever get married?
Keverdeen62: I never saw the need.
ThePeetaSpecial: Dick on the regular isn't need enough?

He did not just say that to me.

Keverdeen62: Hey, I know enough married people to know that is not at all true. They probably get less dick than I do.

And you had to answer him, didn't you? And you had to lie.

ThePeetaSpecial: Is that right?
Keverdeen62: Not really. But I'm sure you get it a lot.
ThePeetaSpecial: I've never had dick, actually.
Keverdeen62: You know what I meant.
ThePeetaSpecial: Get laid regularly… yeah. Well I don't. You don't have to believe me, but it's the truth.

How am I supposed to believe him when he looks the way he does? He should have women throwing themselves at him. There must be something wrong with him.

Keverdeen62: Why not?
ThePeetaSpecial: I already told you. Nobody's made a lasting impression.
Keverdeen62: You need a lasting impression to get laid? You're not a virgin, are you?
ThePeetaSpecial: No… but it takes a lot for me to want to do it in the first place.

So he has to have feelings and shit. I knew there was something wrong with him.

Keverdeen62: Oh.
ThePeetaSpecial: I'm sorry if that isn't what you're looking for.

No, it isn't. Or at least it wasn't.

Keverdeen62: It's ok… I like a challenge too.

And now I more or less told him I want to fuck him. Great. Dig yourself into an even deeper hole.

ThePeetaSpecial: I know we've been all jokes before this, but I really do like you and I would like to take you out sometime in the future. No rush or anything.
Keverdeen62: We'll see.
ThePeetaSpecial: Would it be alright if I e-mailed you some time? That's a lot easier than sitting on this damn site all night.

Wasn't this what I was trying to avoid by giving him my e-mail address in the first place? But at least he is asking permission. I've got to give him that. And he's so easy to talk to. I don't think I've ever met someone that I could talk to this easily, even over the internet.

Keverdeen62: Sure.
ThePeetaSpecial: I'm sure your laundry has been done for a while now, so I'll let you go and get some rest. Sleep well, Katniss Everdeen.
Keverdeen62: Goodnight.

You can wipe that shit eating grin off of your face at any time, Katniss Everdeen.

New e-mail from: pmellark
Message: Good morning, Katniss. Enjoy your day off.

Short and sweet, just like every morning for the last month. We talk all day, we talk all night, and the only time we stop is when we go to sleep. He says his 3 year old dog Bonsai wants to meet me, but after talking with him almost constantly all these weeks I know that's code for "I want to meet you."

Send e-mail to: pmellark
Message: Good morning, Peeta. Don't burn yourself on the oven again.

That was my fault. After three weeks of talking only through e-mail, he asked for my phone number and like a fool, I gave it to him. We talked for four hours that night and three the next morning until I finally had to go meet a client. After a week of talking on the phone, the conversation got a little heated early one morning while he was trying to stay awake during an early shift. When he asked me my favorite thing to do in bed, and I told him I loved going down on guys, he must have lost his concentration and scorched his forearm on the oven rack. It made me glad that I stopped where I did. Hearing his voice that early in the morning did things to me that made me want to say that I wish I had his dick in my mouth at that moment. How could I even think that about a person I've never formally met? My desperation must be at an all-time high to even consider saying something like that to him.

New e-mail from: pmellark
Message: If I do I'll make you come here and take care of me.

Oh if you only knew how badly I wanted to take care of you, Peeta. Don't tell him that though, Katniss. You don't want to seem desperate. But after a month, is it really that desperate? Shouldn't he have asked me to meet him somewhere by now? Peeta is strange when our conversations take a naughty turn. He sounds like he so badly wants to get nasty and say things that would make my mother blush, but he keeps holding back. He starts thing only to quickly change the subject when it gets too heated.

Send e-mail to: pmellark
Message: I wouldn't mind that one bit. You'd just have to tell me where to find you.

That's subtle, Katniss. Nothing screams "Take me now!" louder than what you just said. Maybe I should scream it. Call him and yell it into the phone so he knows that I want him to keep saying all of those things to me. I just need to tell him that I'm not offended and I don't think he's being rude. He needs to know that it's okay for him to talk to you like that, Katniss. Tell him.

New e-mail from: pmellark
Message: Meet me at The Copper Top at 7pm?

Well there it is. Finally. Maybe it's good that I opened that door for him. Who knows how long this would have gone on otherwise? He still needs to know that he doesn't have to be polite with me anymore. We're beyond that. Maybe it is better that I tell him something like that in person.

Send e-mail to: pmellark
Message: Is this a date?

I hope it is. I need a night out with a man and possibly more than that afterward. In all the time I've spent talking to Peeta I could have gotten that ten times over from other guys, but I don't want those other guys, I want Peeta. The baker that wants marriage and has a dog named Bonsai and only sleeps with women he has feelings for. What the hell am I doing?

New e-mail from: pmellark
Message: I certainly hope it is. Do you want it to be a date?

You had to ask, didn't you?

Send e-mail to: pmellark
Message: Yes, I do. I'll see you at 7pm :)

A smile, Katniss? What the fuck are you, 17? And there's that shit eating grin again.

New e-mail from: pmellark
Message: Is there anything you want me to order for you before you get there?

This is why I smile. He's considerate and kind and so damn charming that it makes me want to throw up sometimes. If he weren't so damn cute I would get mad at him for making me act like a teenager.

Send e-mail to: pmellark
Message: A screwdriver, please. I'll see you in a few hours.

Am I really doing this? It's not like I haven't met someone off the internet before, but we both knew where things were headed before we even agreed to meet. With Peeta, I don't know what he's expecting. Is he going to do something cheesy like ask me to be his girlfriend? I bet Peeta would do something like that, and isn't there a better term out there for people our age? I'm not someone's girlfriend.

Text from: Peeta
Sent: 08/18/2012
Message: Hey, I hope you made it to work on time. I'm sorry again.

No good morning message today because there was no need for one. He wished me good morning in person after his alarm clock went off. I shouldn't have stayed overnight. Why did I stay overnight? Why did I even go home with him? Now what is he going to think this is? We did have a date last night, though… which is probably going to make it worse.

Text to: Peeta
Sent: 08/18/2012
Message: I got here on time. Don't apologize.

Please don't apologize. I could try to convince myself that I'm upset with myself for letting this happen, but I'm not. Part of me knew this would happen as soon as I walked into that tavern and saw him sitting there at that table. I thought his pictures were gorgeous, but it's nothing compared to the real thing.

Text from: Peeta
Sent: 08/18/2012
Message: You're not upset, are you?

How could I be? We made it through one drink before he was inviting me back to his place and I could have stopped it right there. Declined and gone our separate ways and ignored his e-mails. Going home with him is what I wanted, but when the opportunity presented itself it felt like too much, too fast. Not that e-mailing for a month and one date is too much. That's not enough. Not nearly enough for what I'm feeling, and that is what is too much.

Text to: Peeta
Sent: 08/18/2012
Message: Not at all. Just very tired.

How could I not be? We got back to his place just before 9pm and wasted no time taking things to the bedroom and that's where we stayed doing everything but sleeping for most of the night. He was so skillful and assertive. For the first time I was with someone that doesn't depend on me to call the shots. For once I can just enjoy myself without having to think about anything but him and the way he moves, and the way his shoulders look as he hovers over me. Calm down, Katniss. You're at work.

Text from: Peeta
Sent: 08/18/2012
Message: I'd like to see you again.

And now you're smiling like a child again, Katniss. But I can't help it. That's the one thing I was hoping to hear today and he's said it before noon. I don't need to tell him not to worry about being polite anymore. He knows now without me ever having to say it. We haven't talked about the differences in what we want from this relationship in weeks, and if he did ask what I wanted now, I wouldn't have an answer for him. I can barely focus on my job today. All I can think about is him and the way he makes me feel. I thought you didn't like feeling, Katniss?

Text to: Peeta
Sent: 08/18/2012
Message: I'd really like that.

I hate feeling. This is what happens when I allow myself to feel something more than just what was needed to get me off. I swore I would never travel down this road again. Never let any man make me feel like I can't get through the day without him and here I am, doing it all over again.

Text from: Peeta
Sent: 08/18/2012
Message: Tonight?

Yes. Please. Tonight. Wait… what am I saying? Pull yourself together, Katniss! What are you doing? You've met this guy once and have been talking to him over the internet for a month. How could you possibly know that you can't get through the day without him?

Text to: Peeta
Sent: 08/18/2012
Message: Yes.

When you know, you just know. That's how.

Text to: Peeta
Sent: 12/20/2012
Message: Thank you for The Peeta Special last night.

So The Peeta Special wasn't his dick at all, though he certainly has nothing to be ashamed of there. A stupid username that could be mistaken for something sexual is actually food. Cheese buns that he bakes for his customers. They're apparently his signature and they sell out within an hour every single time he makes them. He brought me a batch when he came over last night – we shared them in bed.

Text from: Peeta
Sent: 12/20/2012
Message: You're welcome. I'm glad you liked them.

He better bring them over every single time he is here. Why did he leave anyway? He has a job, Katniss. What the fuck is wrong with you? I want to ask him if he'll come over again tonight. Curl up on the couch with me and watch Netflix until neither of us can stand it anymore and I finally get to feel him again. Feel him again? You've been watching too many Hallmark movies, Katniss.

Text to: Peeta
Sent: 12/20/2012
Message: Netflix and Chinese tonight?

I shouldn't have asked that. I sound like I'm desperate for his company. I am, but he doesn't have to know that. Why not, though? You've been with him almost every single night for the last 4 months. I'm pretty sure you're in a relationship. It's about time you admit it, Katniss.

Text from: Peeta
Sent: 12/20/2012
Message: Nothing sounds better :)

I wonder if he knows what he does to me. I wonder if he knows that he makes me feel more than one person should ever make me feel, even if I didn't swear off love years ago. Love. That's what this is now, and denying it would make me look like nothing more than a moron. I'm in love with him despite everything I ever said about committed relationships.

Text from: Peeta
Sent: 03/25/2012
Message: Could you pick up some wine on your way home? I'm making you dinner.

Home. Our home. The days of us going back and forth from his apartment to mine ended 3 months ago. It was becoming pointless to pay rent on two places when only one was being occupied at any given time. My lease ran out first and I moved into his apartment. While we waited for his lease to expire we looked at houses. Houses. I bought a house with this man.

Text from: Peeta
Sent: 07/15/2013
Message: Happy anniversary, baby.

Anniversary. Only he would acknowledge the anniversary of the day we started talking on the internet. You're smiling anyway though, aren't you? Like a big dumb kid in the middle of the gym. I better stop; people are going to think he sent me a naked picture. I wish he'd do that again.

Text to: Peeta
Sent: 07/15/2013
Message: Happy anniversary, cutie.

There I go using cliché terms of endearment again. I should have been more creative. Taken a half hour to meticulously type out a message thanking him for succeeding in making me happier than I ever remember being in my adult life. Scolding him for making me look like a liar when I told him I didn't want a serious relationship, and telling him in no uncertain terms that I love him and he is it for me, but I can't. I've never been one for words. I wouldn't even know where to begin.

Message from: ThePeetaSpecial
Subject: Not Looking for Marriage?
Sent: 07/26/2014
Message: We're getting married today. I'm sitting here in my tux, typing you this message before I head to the venue. I can't wait to see you. I know you'll be a beautiful bride. I just wanted to let you know that I meant what I said that night two years ago. I would have told my buddies that night that I was going to marry you. As soon as I saw you I knew you were the one. I'm glad you stuck around.

It may have taken us longer than most people to find each other, but I'm glad we did and I don't regret waiting until my perfect match came along. It's you, me, and Bonsai for the long haul. I love you.