Love Potion HP
by Tavalya Ra
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J. K. Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Rowling is a goddess; may she have mercy on my soul for writing this.
Thank you to Stacey of "Thin Line" for beta-reading, Anna for indulging and encouraging this insanity, and Simeone for loaning me her copy of "Goblet of Fire," without which, I never would have been inspired to write this ridiculously long and thoroughly disturbing story. Thank you also to Barbara for her help negotiating italics on Fanfiction.net.
Thank you again to everyone who has read this story! I hope the ending meets your approval. :) Next week I will post a short story set in the "Love Potion HP" timeline. It's not a sequal, just a humorous little follow-up.
If anyone wishes to archive this story on his or her site, please contact me at email@example.com.
* * *
"Aren't you hot, Harry?" Hermione asked.
Outside the window, green hills rolled by serenely. Their peace was not shared by Harry, whose stomach began binding itself in knots at Hermione's question.
"No," he answered as nonchalantly as he could muster. "Why?"
"You're wearing long sleeves," she replied. "And this is the hottest June England's had in years."
Ron shook his head and popped another one of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans in his mouth. "Leave him alone about it, Hermione. I'd be a bit wacky, too, if one of my relatives was shagging Snape."
Harry shrugged and turned his face towards the window, unconsciously tugging at his left sleeve. The Dark Mark, although much faded, still occasionally throbbed, the lingering effect of Snape's multiple, rapid invocations while under the Imperius Curse.
What will happen next year, when Voldemort can attack me again? he wondered. How often will he make it burn?
He had spoken nothing of their last confrontation to Hermione and Ron. The event was a very private matter between Sirius and Snape; he felt himself an intruder upon it.
He glanced back at Hermione, who was tweaking a set of Arithmancy equations, and Ron, who had moved on from Bertie Bott's to struggle with a Chocolate Frog, and knew that things would never be the same. He had thought that after the death of Cedric Diggory, but he knew he had been incorrect then. His friends had still been his confidants; now, he had secrets he could not reveal even to them.
* * *
With a resigned sigh, Harry crossed the barrier between Platform Nine and Three-Quarters and King's Cross Station. Hedwig hooted anxiously in her cage. She was looking forward to the summer no more than he.
"I'll let you out as much as I can," he promised her. "I'll send lots of letters. Agreed?"
Hedwig cooed, but it was not a complete approval.
Harry glanced about him. The Station was crammed with the usual crowd of Muggles: families about to depart on vacation, students returning from boarding school, two lawyers with briefcases ready for a board meeting across the country. But where were the Dursleys?
Maybe they forgot, Harry thought. He wasn't sure if he was apprehensive or hopeful. What would he do if the Dursleys did not show up? He supposed he could spend a few days at the Leaky Cauldron after sending an owl to Ron. That wouldn't be so bad, but he was just a smidgen curious if Dudley had kept to his diet while at Smeltings.
He glanced about the Station again. Nothing had changed, except that the lawyers were walking towards- him? Harry adjusted his glasses and squinted his eyes.
No, he thought. It couldn't be.
He rushed over to them. "Sirius? Professor Snape?"
It was one of the more bizarre sights of his life. Sirius, clean-shaven with his hair slicked back, and Snape with his naturally-greasy hair in a pony-tail, were standing side by side in identical Muggle business suits. Sirius was grinning while Snape- little surprise- was scowling.
"What are you doing here?" Harry inquired.
"Taking you home," Sirius answered.
"But… the Dursleys… they'll flip-" Harry stopped. It would mean an even more unbearable summer, but perhaps the entertainment of Snape and Sirius showing up at his aunt and uncle's doorstep would be enough to get him through it.
"You are not going back to the Dursleys," said Snape stiffly.
Sirius teasingly prodded, "Tell him why."
"You tell him why!"
"Well," he began to explain, "I wanted to legally adopt you, Harry, but as I'm not quite legal, Severus-"
"He made me do it," Snape stated flatly.
Harry asked, "Do what?"
He sighed. "According to both the Ministry of Magic and the Muggle government, I am now your legal guardian."
"Foster father," Sirius clarified.
"Guardian!" Snape snapped. Sirius gave him a small, mischievous grin.
Harry was dazzled. "Do you mean it? I'm really…" Then he remembered something which completely burst his happy little bubble. "Wait. Dumbledore made me stay with the Dursleys because of a special protection he placed-"
Sirius cut him off, "Say no more. Dumbledore knows all about this. He agreed to it because he's going to place us under the protection of the Fidelius Charm. We'll be completely safe."
Fidelius Charm? Harry thought with sudden dread. "But what if our Secret-Keeper-"
"It's someone both Severus and I trust completely," Sirius assured him. "And you know how few people Severus trusts."
Snape shot Sirius a foul look.
Sirius continued, "We have a little place on the shore. Remus Lupin is going to be staying with us, too."
Harry still could not believe it. "I'm going to stay with you? And Remus? And…" He hesitated.
I'm going to live in a house with Snape, he realized suddenly. It did not seem much like a cause for celebration.
"Oh, I suppose you will have to call me 'Severus'," Snape begrudged him. "But NOT during school!"
Snape- Severus? Harry did not think he could get used to that- folded his arms. "Tomorrow we'll go to Privy- Privet- wherever those Muggle relatives of yours live and get your things. Then we'll return here and meet up with Dumbledore and Lupin."
"Umm…" Harry began timidly. "Can we go shopping?"
"What for?" Snape demanded.
"I don't have many clothes. The Dursleys just gave me my cousin's old things and he's… not really my size."
Snape rolled his eyes. "Fine. But at Diagon. I'm not buying you any Muggle crap."
"Severus doesn't like Muggles," Sirius explained.
That's not surprising, he thought.
As they began to leave the station, Sirius remarked, "You know what I just realized?"
"What?" Snape inquired indulgently.
"We have a quartet again. We can form another band of Marauders. Moony, Padfoot, Prongs Jr., and… well, we'll think up a name for you."
"Charming," he drawled, clearly emphasizing his sentiments.
"I think 'Venomtongue' would fit. Don't you, Harry?" Sirius asked with a wink.
Snape scowled at him. "Let's find a place for you to transform so we can get back to the Leaky Cauldron. I want to get out of these Muggle clothes."
"Just get out? Or were you planning to get into something as well?" Sirius asked suggestively.
"Don't make innuendoes in front of your godson!" Snape snapped.
Harry tried very hard not to laugh.