This is kind of AU, in that it is post "cursed".

I was a bit bored and happened to be re-reading The Secret Circle on Friday, and that made me re-watch the show… and I just finished watching "Cursed". Just my thoughts on the matter. Please Review. KIT


Cassie POV:

Some clouds have no silver lining. And silver cords shouldn't be broken but they are.

Curses are real. Fairy tales lie. Everything about them is a lie. We aren't all princes and princesses. Our daddies don't always love us like they should. There are no fairy godmothers to make us sleep when we should just die. Staying up late to wish on stars only makes you tired. Wishes don't come true. Just because you find your one true love does not mean you will get happily ever after. And a kiss will solve nothing.

"No elixir will make me forget how much I love you. Not for long."

Those words haunt me. Every night the wind whispers them to me. Taunting me with the lover I lost. I am a ghost. I can see feel hear everything... But no one can see me. At least not the real me. The me that is dying a little more every day. And I'm not sure anymore if that is just a figure of speech. They say time heals a broken heart. But apparently that is a lie. Just another fairy tale. The longer I live without Adam, the more desperate I become. The more I hurt. And I mean physical pain. Real physical agony, not just emotional pain. It's hard to describe the feeling. It's like suffocating. Gasping for air, and there isn't any. Stabbing pain in your chest, that won't go away. It's stupid I know. I'm 17. I'm supposed to be boy crazy, get my heart broken, and then find a new boy. I'm not supposed to fall so deeply in love that life doesn't make sense without him. But every day I wake up, in an empty house, alone and wish some hunter was there to kill me. Or a ghost. Or anything. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal. I'm not allowed to be. He is part of the circle. And the circle needs me. But if there was no circle, I might just entertain the thought of trying to swim to china.

I still see that damn silver cord. The one tying us together. The one that pulls him to me even if he doesn't love me. We are best friends at the moment. That's the real curse. Jake dying would have been fatal to the circle, but I would have recovered eventually. Being Adam's best friend is something I will never recover from. This curse wasn't designed to hurt the circle. It was designed to hurt me. I guess it's punishment for being born of the light and the dark. Punishment for being the daughter of the two people responsible for the death of the coven 16 yrs. ago.

The only good thing is that Jake has backed off for the time being. I'm back to being the loner. And it's like putting on your grandfather's old tattered sweater. Comforting. The only comfort I have. No one questions the fact that I'm withdrawn. They all think it's just who I am. They accept that my love for Adam was a big part of who I was and now that that is 'gone' I'm going to be different for a while. Everyone, except Adam. He points out things no one else notices. Like how I don't eat breakfast anymore and I don't drink coffee at lunch. How I've taken to wearing amulets and worry them constantly. And I don't answer my phone unless it's circle business. And how I don't laugh, and I try to hide my smile. And that when I look him in the eye my brow is always furrowed. Things I don't even notice.

And now it's Monday. When I talked to my grandma last night, she didn't even know who Cassie was. Not even a little. And I missed first period this morning. I woke up late, and had trouble getting started this morning. Probably because I spent all last night trying not to feel alone. And now classes are dragging. And I feel the almost irresistible urge to cause some kind of incident that will cancel classes for the day. But Diana would kill me. Faye would love it, but...I can't. I keep telling myself just to hold out till lunch. If I can make it till lunch then I can go outside and fix the cracks in my armor. Twenty minutes. Just twenty minutes till I can breathe. Doesn't help that he's in this class with me.

Oh god finally! The bell. I'm out of my seat and walking down the hall before the bell even gets to finish ringing. And I can hear someone behind me calling my name but I don't stop. I don't have the time. I don't stop and I don't think. I just focus on walking. I'm trying not to run. Trying not to make it obvious that I'm slipping. I can feel my eyes watering and I'm having trouble breathing. I realize that I'm not on the street anymore; I'm walking thru the woods. And I'm not sure where I'm headed but as long as I'm headed away I'll be ok.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I can hear whatever is left of my IQ trying to rationalize my current actions. 'Ok so not just a breather. You are just going to not go to class this afternoon. It's ok. You don't even have to pretend to be sick because let's face it. You are.' As if to punctuate that statement a wave of nausea hits me so hard that I have to lean against a tree so I don't fall over. I take a deep breath and just listen. I hear my heart beating quickly, the waves on the beach. I look up and realize just how close to our house I actually am. I head for it, going there is as good a place as any. And maybe there is an herb there to take away the sick feeling I have in my stomach.

I start to run as fast as I can. It's beginning to rain and I don't want to add soaked to my current list of miserable. I make it to the bottom of the steps before I feel it. And it's excruciating. I don't even have enough air to cry out before I feel like my chest is being ripped open. It feels like something is being pulled out of me. I see that silver cord again. And it looks like someone is yanking on it. Trying to separate it from me. I crawl up the stairs and into the house. I'm aiming for one of couches but I don't actually make it there. I start coughing and when I took my hand away I saw blood. I hear myself screaming. "Adam!" And then black.