A/N: Reaction fic to Glee 4.04

He knows Kurt's waiting for him out in the living room. He knew the second he'd left the bed around 2 and hadn't slept since. Well, to be truthful, he hadn't slept since he'd left Eli's.

Things had felt wrong the second he stepped on the porch to his house. It wasn't Mr. Hummel answering the door, nor was it Kurt, which is who it should have been. He should have been at the Hummel's house.

Eli didn't look like the pictures on his Facebook, either. He just wanted someone to watch a movie with; someone to talk to. Then Eli got hands-y and Blaine left. He felt gross and even more unloved because he couldn't undo what had just happened.

He has to go to Kurt. He has to tell him what happened. He has to try and explain himself. So he flies to New York and surprises him. And before he knows it, he's at Kurt's door with more roses than he can carry. And Kurt is ecstatic to see him, and that's what breaks Blaine. He'd done a terrible thing to this wonderful human being; the first person who completely understood him, who loved him unconditionally. And he ruined it because he needed someone to talk to.

Then they're at the karaoke bar and he's volunteered to sing. And he sings the only thing he can at that point. The song that joined him and Kurt together. And it breaks his heart to sing it because he knows he fucked up and he needs to tell Kurt and he hasn't had the chance because Finn and Rachel are there and this isn't something he wants an audience for. So he sings his heart out and he cries because this could be the last chance he gets to sing to Kurt.

He sees Kurt's face change and he knows he's finally caught on. They leave once he's done singing, following Finn and Rachel out the door.

Once they're in the park, he spills and tells Kurt as much as he can before there are tears and Kurt walks away. Neither of them can escape the other, Blaine can't leave until tomorrow morning, and they're sharing Kurt's bed.

Now, Kurt's in the living room, probably on the uncomfortable couch he'd been warned about, and he knows neither of them will get any sleep for the next several days.

Around 5 am, he hears Kurt talking to Finn, who's sneaking out on Rachel. It's another hour and a half before Blaine gets up the courage to talk to Kurt. He pads out to the living room quietly, hoping not to wake Rachel. He finds Kurt curled up in the chair, tossing and turning in his sleep. He pulls the blanket off the couch and tucks Kurt in, careful not to wake him. He sits on the uncomfortable couch and thinks about how he can fix this.

Rachel comes out in a panic around 7:30 looking for Finn.

"He left around 5, I think," Blaine says as she sits next to him on the couch and rests her head on his shoulder.

"What happened with you two?"

"I really fucked up, Rachel. And you're probably going to hate me as much as he does for it."

"What did you do?"

"I try so hard to be perfect. I have to, it's the only thing I can do to distract my parents from the major fault I have in their eyes. I have no one to talk to about what's going on in my life except Kurt. He's the only person who totally and completely understands me. Not even Cooper knows me as well as Kurt does. And I ruined it."


"I cheated on Kurt. When he left, I had no one. I met up with a guy I met on Facebook. I just wanted someone to talk to, someone I could relate to and he wanted more than that. And I really should have known that from the start, but—"

His phone alarm starts going off, telling him he's got an hour to get to the airport. He rushes back to Kurt's bedroom to turn it off so he doesn't wake Kurt. Rachel follows him and watches from the door as he gets his stuff together.

"Why don't you tell him all of this?" she asks.

"I can't wake him now. He just fell asleep a few hours ago and he's got his internship in a few hours. And I've got to catch my flight. I'll call him when I get home."

"I can't guarantee that he'll want to talk to you then."

"I know that, but I also know how important this internship is to him. He'll hate me even more if I wake him up now."

He manages to find a scratch piece of paper on Kurt's desk and writes him a note.

I'm so sorry. I really and truly am. I know that doesn't fix anything but it doesn't mean it's any less true. I know I probably can't, but I will do anything and everything in my power to fix this. I can't imagine living without you, Kurt and this has just made me understand that more. There is no one else for me but you. I hope you can forgive me eventually. Even if it's 10 years from now, I'll wait.
All my love,

He slips the note into Kurt's lunch bag and heads for the door. He gives Kurt one last kiss, on his forehead, and whispers "I love you" into his ear. He hugs Rachel goodbye and heads for the airport.

He calls Tina around 9 and tells her everything that happened. She only asks "Why didn't you come to me sooner?" and he cries in the middle of JFK.

"I didn't think about it," he replies.

It's nearly two weeks before Kurt sees Blaine's note because he's been going out to lunch with Isabelle daily. The note is blurry in spots and he's not sure if tears or the condensation from his soda can is to blame. He's still hurt but he's talked to his dad and to Finn, both of whom had talked to Blaine and heard his side of the story.

He hasn't talked to Blaine since he left, especially since he did the same thing to him that Finn did to Rachel. He couldn't muster enough courage to do it. He didn't want to make the wound any bigger, but now he thinks he can handle it.

To: Blaine
Got your note. Thank you.