A/N- Oh dear... the Torchwood/Doctor Who addiction has reached "wake up from daydream and write ficlet" level... Nothing is safe anymore!
Sometimes when we're with someone we love with all our heart, we forget why they love plain old us. Jack tells Ianto something he's never shared with another person, and reaffirms their standing with each other.
Idyllic, yes. Accurate? Maybe not. But shush. I love hot bisexual men :D
"Why would you choose me?"
Jack felt the words rather than heard them. He was sprawled facedown in his bed, one arm over Ianto's chest and his leg hooked similarly. The words hadn't been loud enough to hear properly, but he knew what his lover had asked all the same. They were also spoken so quietly that Jack knew Ianto thought he was deeply asleep. So he resisted the urge to kiss the smooth skin of the shoulder near his lips, and resisted the desire to clutch closer to the hot body sharing the bed and instead leveled his breathing back into something that resembled sleep and listened.
"Oh Jack, why? I'm simple, worthless as anything but a factotum, and so bleeding plain compared to you. Why not someone else?"
Ianto continued to whisper toward the ceiling. Clearly these words weren't something new, and it was painfully obvious to Jack that the feelings connected to them were bitter and sullen.
"I'm just an ordinary bloke… and you're so amazing. You're so different from anyone I've ever met, so incredible. It just doesn't make sense Jack," Jack felt Ianto shift to run his fingers through his hair and the younger man sighed despondently, "When… when are you going to leave me?"
Jack felt his heart clench in cold dread at those words and was about to 'wake up' when Ianto continued,
"When will you realize I'm not worth it? Why do you think I'm worth it now…? I can't compare to your Doctor that you've been waiting for… I can't even compare to Gwen, Tosh, or Owen. But here I am, still. Do… do you even think I AM worth it? The others… they think this is just a cheap fling to you…
"Do you know that it isn't to me? I hate this. I love you, but how can you, who's seen so much and done more and been farther, love me? Me who couldn't even save the gal I loved. Me who couldn't save myself from a normal human. Me who just makes the bloody coffee…" Ianto's voice trailed off into a self-disgusted mutter.
Jack knew he couldn't let it go like that.
"The Doctor says that an ordinary person, one insignificant and perfectly normal person, is the most important thing in the Universe," Jack whispered the words into Ianto's shoulder, feeling his lover stiffen in embarrassment. But Ianto didn't respond, and Jack pressed on,
"What do you think I am? I'm nothing. I can't even die. I do things because I'm running. To or from something, I don't even know myself. But I'm a coward, deep down. I was left behind because I was forgotten. But you, you're brave. You tried to do what was right; you tried to do what you needed to, had to do. Yes. You are the most ordinary, normal… perfect man there ever was. You have this," Jack moved his hand to feel Ianto's heart beating, "And that's what I love,"
Hot tears coursed down Ianto's cheeks and he gripped Jack's hand in his own, feeling his heart swell and shatter from the emotions pouring in.
"I love you Jack,"
"I love you too, Ianto. Never doubt it,"