I told myself I won't miss you, but I remember what it feels like beside you.
It wasn't nausea that was twisting in his stomach. It wasn't because of the unbelievable defeat he had just gone through. It wasn't even anger. No, this was a completely different feeling. It felt as if he had lost a piece of himself. As if the shadow that continued to gently linger behind him, despite that certain members absence, had now completely disappeared. He told himself that the other's new light would never be strong enough, that it was him the boy belonged with but how could he face that now? Now that he had been proven wrong by none other than his former shadow.
No, that blue haired deviant wasn't just his shadow. The day he disappeared, everything they had crumbled. He could faintly remember the way the other's hair smelled, and how he'd always wake up with the craziest of bed heads. He could almost feel the curves of the other's body under his fingertips. Softly, he could hear how the boy sounded every time he tore away that emotionless mask, every breathless moan and plea that was begging for him. Gradually, when he closed his eyes, he could even see the other's face. How those pale cheeks lit up nice and bright for him, and how his mouth would hang open every so slightly so he could breathe. When it all came rushing back to him, he couldn't seem to comprehend how everything came to an end so easily.
Now he was stuck watching the only person he ever considered his lover, walk away with someone else. Their love for basketball was what brought them together, and it was what tore them apart. Even so, somewhere inside of him, despite the feeling of being completely left behind, he felt as if that was how it should be. He was well aware of how he hurt the other, of how he would make promises that were never kept. He caught on to how he made the other feel completely left behind, just as he was now. With his new light, he took notice of just how much the male smiled. How he put even more into everything he did, and how he completely believed in the one that was leading him.
"Why can't it be me?"
It seemed he finally snapped out of his thoughts, his own voice sending a chill up his spine. For a while now, he had planted himself outside of the stadium, waiting for the other's. There was no need for him to stay inside and let himself fall farther as he watched his former lover with another person. The pain in his stomach was bad enough without him watching them go on about their victory. The entire time, his eyes stayed planted on the star lit sky above him, his thoughts never leaving the blue eyed male.
Instantly his chest grew tight, that voice making him shudder, but of course he maintained his composure. Tearing his gaze from the sky, he let his eyes land on the boy, and he sat up after a few moments. At first he said nothing, simply stared at him but finally he got to his feet and moved forward, the distance between them diminishing step by step. Stopping about a foot away, he kept his hands stuffed firmly in his pockets.
"Need something, Tetsu?"
It looked, despite the indifferent mask, like the other was debating something. As if he wasn't quite sure what he wanted to say, or how to say it. Instead, for quite a while, they simply stared at each other. It felt like everything was being said just by them standing there, but the taller of the two couldn't fully understand. He wanted to hear the other speak, to have him say whatever he was thinking of, whether it was good or bad.
"I'm happy, Aomine-kun."
If anything could have confused him, it would have been that statement. Of course he knew the other was happy, he had just won, after all. There was nothing for him not to be happy about.
"In the end, you went back to how you were back then. Instead of playing just to defeat your opponent, you actually wanted to play."
Somehow it was a blow to his heart, as it hit him then that that was the other's motive the entire time. While he was solely focused on crushing the boy and showing him who was better, the owner of those hypnotizing baby blues was only focusing on him. While he was selfishly thinking of himself, the other was only thinking of him. He wasn't quite sure when he moved but before he could catch up with himself, he had reached and yanked the boy into his arms. He couldn't remember the last time he cried but somehow, so easily, the other had brought him to tears.
"Tetsu, I'm sorry."
Gently those small hands rested on Aomine's back, soon balling into fists as he took a firm hold of him. His face stayed buried in the boys neck while those baby blues stayed hooked on the night sky.
"I just wanted to see you smile again. I told you back then, too. That I fell in love with that smile."
Pulling back, their eyes met and he had to laugh when the other reached to wipe his tears. He felt like a child being taken care of but when he thought back, it was like that then, too. While he was sure Kuroko felt he was depending on him, Aomine knew that it was really him who was the dependent one. He couldn't do it without the other, there was no way.
He couldn't stop himself. Now that he thought about it, he didn't care if they were a light and shadow anymore. All he knew was that he needed the other by his side. Not as a teammate or a friend. Not as a shadow. No, he needed the other as his lover. His hands were on the other's shoulders then, and he took no time before leaning in. His breathing hitched as he felt the warmth of the other's lips but he moved anyway, closing all distance between them. It felt like time had completely stopped, but he felt those small hands grabbing onto him and he pulled back, their foreheads gently colliding as he looked into those baby blues that he always adored.
"I'm not letting you go this time, Tetsu."
"...That's fine by me..."