A/N: This was written in response to a message I got on tumblr:
Hi, I love your fics so much. If you have time, I'd like to see a Aomine x Kagami fic where they just fool around and act like idiots and be cute and hilarious together. 3 smut level can be whatever you want.
Well, there's no smut (which is why I can post it here), though there is a small allusion to their sex life. Hope you enjoy cute, fluffy, goofy AoKaga as much as I do!
Oi, Kagami, look," Aomine called to him, drawing his gaze.
His boyfriend, the biggest bad-ass basketball player in all of Japan, the object of female wet dreams and male envy everywhere he went, was currently sitting across from him, a Maji Burger napkin rolled up, twisted and stuck above his top lip in a thin, white, curling line.
"See, mustache," Aomine wiggled his eyebrows as he spoke.
It was so ridiculous, so completely stupid, that Kagami couldn't contain his laughter. Unfortunately, he didn't stop sipping his drink first and suddenly he was spewing soda out of his nose.
"Eww, nasty," the fervent complaint accompanied Aomine moving his burger and fries out of Kagami's spray zone.
Eyes watering and nose burning, Kagami grabbed one of the napkins Aomine had not abused and wiped his face, glaring at the dusky-skinned, dark-haired bastard in front of him.
"That was your fault, dumbass. You looked so retarded with your stupid, funny face that I had to laugh."
Pasting on a wounded expression, Aomine sneaked one of Kagami's fries as he said, "Is that any way to talk to the man who gave you the best orgasm of your life last night?"
Face flaming, Kagami looked hastily around to see if any of the other patrons had heard Aomine. No one was even looking in their direction.
With a sigh of relief, he snatched two of Aomine's fries and grumbled, "Don't talk about that crap here, Ahomine! And, how do you know it was the best? Maybe my hand does a better job than you."
"Oh, please," Aomine rolled his eyes, disbelief etched on his face, "who was it that was screaming at the top of his lungs, 'Ohgodohgodohgod, Aomine you're the best, fuck me harder,'?" He affected an effeminate, high-pitched voice as he spoke and stole four of Kagami's fries.
His cheeks now a fiery inferno, Kagami hissed, "I didn't sound like that, moron, and you're the one who as all 'Kagami, baby, that's it, damn you're so hot and tight I could stay inside you forever.'" He deepened his voice to a hoarse, rumbling purr, and shot his hand out, grabbing a fistful of Aomine's fries, shoving them into his mouth.
A pink flush, barely noticeable on his dark skin, stained Aomine's face as well by the time Kagami finished speaking. "I don't sound like that either, Bakagami!"
He tried to thieve more of Kagami's food in retaliation, but Kagami threw his arm around his fries, jealously protecting the salty snack just like a squirrel guarding his nuts.
"Uh huh," Kagami grunted, stuffing his face as fast as he could so Aomine couldn't steal anymore of his fries.
Aomine leaned back, his disgruntled expression morphing into one of amused affection. Even if he hadn't been trying to pinch Kagami's food, the red-head would still eat like that. Kagami enjoyed food the way other people enjoyed fine art or music, and Aomine, well he just enjoyed watching Kagami.
After eating, they stood outside on the sidewalk, Kagami rubbing his belly with a somewhat pained look. "Ugh, my stomach hurts."
"Because you ate nine burgers and three orders of fries, you human garbage disposal!" Aomine popped him on the head.
"Ouch!" Kagami shifted his hand from his abdomen to the back of his head, shooting his partner a dark look. "Don't make me hurt you," he growled, easing into a slow waddle.
Stepping in pace beside him, Aomine's shoulders and hips gently bumped into his, both of them comfortable in each other's space after all this time.
"You couldn't hurt me even if I was tied up and blindfolded," the sneering, mocking retort held no heat, just gentle mirth.
This was how they flirted, how they teased each other, and while everyone else but Kuroko thought they were brain damaged, the biting banter suited them.
Glancing out the corner of his eye, Kagami allowed a small grin to play over his lips. "Oh, are you volunteering to be tied up and blindfolded? I didn't know you were that kinky, but hey I'm willing to give it a shot just for you."
Stopping in his tracks, Aomine's mouth opened and closed several times, rendered speechless by Kagami's bold comments. He wasn't just shocked, though. An image of himself bound with his eyes covered, Kagami riding him hard and fast, danced through his mind. He was surprised that the idea was not abhorrent but actually quite arousing, and that flustered him greatly. It was simply not in his character to submit like that, and the notion that he might find it a turn-on was unsettling.
To cover up his momentary lapse, he snaked his arm out and wound it around Kagami's neck, jerking the other man's head down so he could give it a violent, rough noogie.
"You perverted brat, don't make me spank your ass when we get home," the threat was dark, sultry, sensual.
Kagami peeked up through dark red lashes and smiled, just a touch of feral wildness to his expression. "Maybe I want to be spanked."
Aomine stared into deep, crimson eyes, noting the banked heat glittering there, and his own head was lowering before he could stop himself. Kagami recognized the lusty intent on his face and pushed hard against his chest.
"We're in public retard!" he slid out from Aomine's hold, crossing his arms nervously.
"So," Aomine shrugged, "you're my lover, what's wrong with kissing you in public?"
Eyeing Aomine incredulously, because it was clear the bonehead really meant it, really didn't see why the two of them kissing in front of God and sundry was a problem, Kagami kicked the fool's foot in aggravation.
"Because no one wants to see two big, brawny dudes sucking face. It will gross them out."
Now Aomine was frowning in annoyance. "That's stupid. I should be able to kiss you wherever and whenever I want." He lifted his chin stubbornly, the gesture so cute Kagami had to chuckle.
"Well, you can't , so just give it u—," his words were cut off because Aomine had apparently decided discretion was not the better part of valor and jerked Kagami to him, plastering their lips together in a wet, smacking kiss.
For one brief, shining moment, Kagami was lost in the touch and scent and taste of his crazy man, but then gasps and buzzing whispers reached his ears. Dragging his mouth away, Kagami peered over Aomine's shoulder, taking in the small crowd looking at them in shock, amusement, and yes disgust.
"Dammit, I told you, Ahomine! Everyone is staring at us like we are freaks."
"Let them," Aomine shrugged again, licking his lips, savoring Kagami's warmth and flavor that still lingered there. "We don't know them and they don't know us, so who cares what they think?"
"I care, dumbass!" Kagami roared, drawing more interested gazes. Skin heating again, knowing it was probably as red as his hair, he grabbed Aomine's hand and tugged. "Just forget it! Let's get back home before you start humping my leg right here on the street."
Aomine smothered a smile, not pointing out that Kagami pulling him along by his hand was almost as eye-catching as the two of them kissing. Instead, he twined their fingers together and let his boyfriend drag him away, anticipating the night to come.