Willow stared at the carefully drawn pattern on the floor. She looked over at the still unconscious Xander and felt a moment of agonizing guilt. This wasn't nice magic. At best, it was charcoal gray magic. She looked at Angel as he waited for her. He was handsome, but she wasn't looking forward to the next step.
"We don't have to do this, Willow." He pushed a hand through his hair and growled. "We can let it be. I won't force you."
"We can let it be." She repeated the phrase, testing it on her tongue. "We can let it be. Stand aside and watch as they cuddle together and wallow in their happiness. Forgetting all about the real love we shared."
She grabbed the hem of her sweater, pulled it from her body, and tossed it to the ground. The rest of her clothing followed in quick succession. She stood shaking and naked, but Angel wouldn't look at her. The guilt swamped her. She caught her fist against her open mouth. Buffy had slept with her boyfriend, and she was going to fuck Buffy's. She stretched out like a board on the ground.
"Get this over with. I want to take that shower." She snarled. "And don't get happy."
"I don't think there's even the most remote possibility of happiness here." He growled back at her as he stripped his clothing off and folded it neatly on the arm of the couch.
"Just get this over with. The longer we wait the harder this spell is going to get." She closed her eyes and clenched her fists.
She felt him kneel beside her. He ran a hand down her side. She shivered under his cold touch.
"You need to spread your legs, Willow. I won't do this if it requires force. It has to be your choice." There was an edge to his voice.
She spread her legs and felt him shift his bulky body between them. The hair on his legs rubbed against the skin of her inner thighs and suddenly the enormity of what she was doing came home to her. Her virginity would be a memory in a moment. She tensed her body and felt him press his cock up against her.
"Open your eyes, Willow. I need you to look at me. I need you to tell me this isn't rape." Angel's voice was soft, broken. She felt his body tremble. She opened her eyes and stared up into his chocolate ones and saw the pain inside him.
"We can't take the risk that fingers won't count in the magic. Get the blood. I know it's going to hurt. I want it to hurt." She kept her eyes locked with his until she felt him slide a bit into her. He paused and she closed her eyes. "Be brutal."
He took a deep breath and grabbed her hips. He looked down at her body. She was clenched against him. "Brutal it is." He murmured and thrust into her with every bit of his vampire strength.
He could smell the blood immediately, but it needed to flow. The sigils were complicated. They would need a steady stream. He continued to ram her, listening to her grunts and moans.
She shuddered with every thrust. She bit her lips until they bled. She wouldn't scream. He needed to get this done, so she could work the magic. The pain kept growing until it became constant. She opened her eyes and watched him grimace as tears slid down his face. He wrenched his blood-coated member from her and spurted something cold onto the soft flesh of her stomach. His body hung above hers defeated for a moment.
"I'm sorry." His voice broke as he drove his fingers into her and moved to mark the first sigil. She wanted to curl up in a ball, but he was going to need more. She stared at the ceiling and ignored his repeated invasions of her body. Numbness flooded through her awareness was only of him, his body, his movement. She felt him begin to falter and snapped her eyes back to him. There were only two sigils left undone.
"Finish it. You are doing this for Buffy. We are making a sacrifice to help the ones we love." She grabbed his head and forced him to look into her eyes. He nodded and rammed his fingers into her harder. She gasped and locked eyes with his now golden gaze.
"I'm doing this because I can't lose her. I'm not doing this for her. I'm helping you do this to her." He growled drew the last two symbols before licking his fingers clean under her watchful gaze. "Finish your damn spell."
Willow rose on shaky legs and stood above the first sigil. She felt him come to stand behind her. She started the incantation and watched as the white chalk lines began to glow orange. She moved through the sequence and stood in the center of the glowing lines. She watched as the dried blood flaked from her skin and spun into a gust of wind that suddenly spun around them. The whirlwind flared around the circle dropping the temperature in the room.
The smoky outline of two wolves appeared to stalk around the edge of the circle. Angel tensed behind her, but she watched as both forms writhed in agony. Their outlines became fainter with each circuit. She watched as the glowing lines around her flared and burned red with jumping flames. The last vestiges of the shadow wolves dissolved into the unnatural wind.
She felt a rush of heat through her body and blood splashed from between her legs, but she continued the chant until she felt the spell snap into place. The lines flared with a black flame and disappeared. All the body fluids disappeared. Only the sigils remained, burned into the floor. She rolled her shoulders. Every part of her body ached.
"We need to hurry. They'll sleep for about three hours while their memories change. I'm going to go shower." Willow heard the hard edge to her voice. He nodded and shuddered as she passed him.
Angel stared at the sigils burned into his floor and thought of the sense of evil that had poured off Willow as she walked by him. His gut twisted. He could remember every victim in detail; hear their screams and whimpers. He had done so much evil, but none of it had felt like this.
He rolled the rug back over the floor and went to scrub himself clean. His self-loathing burned within him. He was glad he cast no reflection for the first time in his existence. He leaned against the cold glass of the mirror and wept for his sins.