Alrighty then! :)) This is the first time I've ever put my writing up to be judged by others! I've rarely even let my friends read my work, so don't be shocked. All reviews of all kinds are welcome, nothing you say can hurt my feelings. Honesty is better than nothing at all :))

Warnings: There is no real warnings yet. I'll let you know every chapter if anything changes. For now, some violence and slightly intimate detail.

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, nor any of the characters :( though I do claim rights on my weirdness and ideas :))

ENJOY! :))

Keeping his hands pinned above his head, she continued to ride him; rolling her hips in sharp circular motions. Trying to buck up, she assumed it was him trying to gain pleasure; so releasing one hand out of the two holding his arms down – she punched him. Leaving his face looking off to the side, he stopped struggling. He may love her, for whatever reason he'd never know; but she wasn't what he wanted. She was using him for her own pleasure and frustration, and because she knew what he really wanted – who he really wanted. Arching her back and moaning out softly, she let her hips rock as she rode out her orgasm. Pulling off him, she wasn't worried about a mess because she never let him cum, part of her 'considered' torture upon him when she felt like it. Slipping her panties and jeans back on, she didn't even look back at him as she walked towards the door of the mausoleum.

"Ya know Spike, you're truly pathetic. It's one of the reasons why I'm the only one who will ever have you, and why he'll never give you a second glance." Shutting the door behind her, she didn't even see the look of pain cross his face. He was use to the insults, the belittling; that was nothing – he could handle it. When it came to him though, his dark kitten, his chest ached as if he were actually still alive.

'If only I could kill you, Slayer. Maybe then I'd have what I want.'

Trying to muffle a yawn in his arm, Xander dropped the box of donuts and coffee on the center table in the Magic Box. It was his duty as the Zeppo to see to their needs, because he wasn't good enough. Yeah, it sucked that everyone saw him that way, but everyone in his life always did; so why should he tell them different? Plopping down into a chair, he took a sip of his hot chocolate; not being a fan of coffee.

"Oh Xander you're a life-saver, you know that?" Willow placed a small kiss on his forehead as she grabbed a coffee and donut before heading back to the shelves to score through books. Giles had just walked out the training room and Xander handed him his cup before he could ask.

"Yes G-man, its tea." Smiling in thanks, Giles headed without a word behind the counter to work on inventory. Looking around, Xander quirked an eyebrow.

"Where's the Buff-meister?"

"We're pretty sure she's at home. Must have had a late patrol last night." Xander just nodded, not totally believing it. He wasn't sure if he was the only one who knew, but Buffy had the bad tendency of beating up on Spike lately; for no good reason at all.

'Not that I care or anything, but it still ain't that cool. He's helped us a lot…not that I care or anything.' Xander thought to himself, finishing off his drink. Stepping back from the table, he nodded towards Giles in goodbye.

"See ya later Wills."

"Where you going Xan? I thought you were just gonna hang around today?"

'Yeah, because no one asks me to ever do anything else.'

"Got some things to do, just wanted to see what was up."

"Awh ok. See you later." Nodding in reply, he left. Putting a big smile on his face, he waved his hand up to get her attention.

"Hey Buff, what's up?" She smiled at him, sticking her hands in her jacket pockets.

"Nothing really Xan, leaving already?"

"Yeah, got a few things to do. Might stop by later though."

"Oh, that's cool." Buffy was about to head inside the Magic Box, but curiosity made Xander call out to her one last time.

"Was patrol bad last night? We were all kind of worried to be the first one's here." A lie, but one necessary to hide his true intentions for asking.

"Nah, it was actually pretty easy. Just been kind of tired recently, decided to sleep in."

"Alright, well, take it easy Buff." Nodding in reply, she left and Xander went on his way.

Rolling over in a huff, it was getting harder and harder to sleep during the day. The scobbies were rubbing off on him, and not in the greatest way. Yeah sure, Red wasn't so bad. He actually liked her sense of humor, and her darling attitude. The Watcher could be a pain in the ass, but his voice always reminded him of his home. Xander…well…that wasn't someone he really wanted to think about.

"Bloody hell, quite being such a puss." Spike grumbled, rolling over to grab a bottle of Jack Daniels and downing it quickly. Throwing the bottle across the room to shatter, he sat up groggily. He needed blood, but better yet; he wanted a shower.

"Smell like whore," grumbling some more, he went to the small fridge he had and cursed when he opened it. Out of blood. So that meant one of two things. Find a way to get pigs blood, and not get all the nutrients he needed; or wait for the white knight of the scobbies to bring him some real blood.

'Maybe I can talk the git into letting me borrow his shower.' Plopping himself back on his bed, he had nothing else to do but wait for the man to show up, or for the sun to go down so he could find him himself.

Pushing the door to the mausoleum open, Xander kept it propped open with his foot as he sat the cooler on the inside before pulling it shut behind him. Without speaking, because they rarely spoke, he headed straight for the small fridge to put the blood away. His friends knew he got blood for Spike, but they thought it was pig's blood and free. Actually he spent his own hard-earned money and bought him human blood from a source he had.

'Guess he's still sleeping, I'll leave a note.' Grabbing the pen and paper from a small side table, he started to scrawl out a note.

Yo, dropped off your supply


Picking up the now empty cooler, he headed back to the door to leave after sticking the note to the fridge door.

"Oi, where you going?" Jumping from the sudden noise, Xander calmly turned to face the vampire. It wasn't because he knew Spike could hurt him, and was still trying to figure out how. He just grew – oddly - more comfortable around the vampire. He actually treated him like he was worth something, like he did something.

'For him, I suppose I do.'

"Haven't figured that part out yet, was just dropping off your blood. Sorry if I was late, had some things to do."

"Can't you go one day without being their lap bitch, pet?" Spike chuckled to himself, heading straight for the fridge for blood. Buffy had harmed him enough the other night, knowing he didn't have blood, so his injuries wouldn't heal. Xander noticed the bruise on his jaw, and frowned a little.

'Only Buffy could do that.'

"I'm not their lap bitch; I choose to bring them things. Same reason I choose to bring you blood.

"You don't choose, that wanker of a Watcher demands it of you so I keep helping you all out, yeah." Spike snipped out, going into game face and biting into the blood bag and draining it in seconds. The bruise on his face and on other places of his body disappeared.

'Not human blood, they don't.' Xander was actually sure they might explode on him if they found out, more like Buffy would.

"Is there a reason for you to pick a fight with the person who so kindly supplies you with food, or are you just pissy because Buffy handled you again?" Xander saw Spike visibly tense before he was slammed up against the wall, Spike's game face nose to nose with his own.

"You listen here, mate." He growled out, putting more pressure. "You don't know one damn thing about me, or how I'm handled, yeah?" Xander gasped, trying to gain some air after having it knocked out of him at the others attack. Ok, so he deserved that one; but he was tired of Spike being a dick to him when he did him favors for no expectations in return. He could at least be a little nicer.

"Yeah g-gotcha." Letting him go, Spike prowled back over to the fridge, body still tense. Being so close to the man was hard, especially when the other's pulse seemed to increase when he was nearby. Running his hand through his hair, not gelled this evening, he propped himself against the wall and lit a cigg. Xander stood there, rubbing his neck absent-minded. The silence filling the air was awkward, and he felt like Spike wanted to say something.

"Look and listen 'cause you'll never hear me say this again. Sorry 'bout that, but that bitch isn't on my nice-side, pet. Sure you can understand why." It was an unspoken thing, but Spike knew Xander had knowledge of how Buffy treated him. Thankfully, he didn't know the other reason. Xander just stood there still, nodding his head in reply.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry also, that was a low blow." Silence filled the air once more, and Xander picked up the fallen cooler before heading to the door again.

"Pet?" Xander stopped again, something in Spike's tone stopping him. Yeah, he called people pet often; Xander supposed it had to do with his origins. Spike never once used it in a questionable sentence with him though.


"Mind if I stop by your crib? Wanted to get this filth off me." Xander faced the doorway, but couldn't help but smile.

"Not a problem."

A/N:Well here we go :)) Lemme know what you think -R.F.