Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Dear Gar,

In a second for you (a day for me) you'll hear a little knock on the door, and then the small pounding footsteps of me running away.

Leaving everything behind.

I left you a box. It's an old Nike shoe box that holds...all of it.

It isn't incriminating on sight. But ( I hope ) you'll open it up and feel confused, then read this very letter and know.

Know that...I saw you.

Know I still love you.


Do you want to know something? The box is heavy. It's heavy. It doesn't hold much. It's filled with roughly a dozen small trinkets.

Do you want to know my theory? The box knows what it's part of.

What's in it.

What it's for.

The box is heavy, because it's sad, is what I'm saying.

The box has every remnant and memento and keepsake from our relationship.

Here's all of it.

A cardboard coffee sleeve,

a slip of paper,

a receipt for the Most Unspeakable Thing I've Ever Done,

a jar of ashes (I'll explain later)

a ball of clay,

that stupid scarve,

an empty bag of soy waffles,

an assortment of tea,

and a bad drawing of you as a cat.

Take it.

Burn it. Add the ashes to the jar.

Keep it.

I don't know.

I just want it all out of my sight.


I...I'll explain all of them.

Starting from the beginning.

It started with one of Robin's "One-day vacations" he gives us every month or so.

You were acting... as usual, I guess.


"Raavennn, I don't have anything to do! How come I can't go to the bookstore? I can be int-intel-int..."

I was going to the bookstore, my place for when I had no other place to be.

"Intelligent, Beast Boy." I probably should have known right about here, you didn't want the bookstore. You wanted me, as cliche as it was. "And besides, what would you exactly get at the bookstore?"

"I'd...Find stationery." I wouldn't say in person, but the way you said it made me want to laugh. Like going out specifically for stationery was a thing.

"Stationery?" I almost smiled. Almost.

"Well, yeah. They sell like notebooks and paper too, at the bookstore, don't they?" you scratched your head like, if they didn't sell that stuff, you'd be fucked.

Like, "Oh no! Where else will I get my letter writing materials? This is quite a quandary!"

Though you'd never say those exact words.

"Yes, but that sort of thing is for girls."

"Well, I'm gonna find the manliest kind possible. "

So we parted, well, I tried to part, at least.

You followed me, even though all of that stuff you said you wanted was in the opposite direction.

I didn't say anything.

I wish I did.

Maybe this wouldn't have happened and maybe you'd just be happy with Terra instead of me and I'd be content and you'd be content and the Titans wouldn't have to pick sides and...I wouldn't feel so...used up.

I'm sorry I didn't say anything.

After my usual scanning of books, I came up empty.

Then, you said something along the lines of "I'm starving, what's a man gotta do to eat?"

I replied with "Ah, where's this man you're talking about?"

But I walked us to the little cafe they have set up in the store, anyway.

I don't know if you remember, but the cafe's called "Why We're Called Jump City".

It's really cheesy, and I really think they should change it, but the apple turnovers are good.

So I can't complain.

We sat in the corner, by a window.

And you went off, and returned with a cupcake, tea bags, and a cup.

"I got you some hot water." You set it down, shaking your hand as if it would dispel the excess heat. "Uh, I got you different types of tea...Because I don't know what kind you like..."

I was seriously considering crashing Rob and Star's date to tell Starfire about the tea. That was really...sweet.

But in reality, I said thank you, and pinched myself because my mind was being undisciplined.

"Cupcake, hmm? Not very vegan, is it?" I asked, trying to distract my mind from itself.

"Applesauce and almond milk.", you said. I only really got it when I looked it up, to be honest.

Then I remembered to glance at the register. Do you remember the girl working it? That's Casey. She's nice, I suppose. Not really a best friend, more of a casual person-who-I-buy-coffee-from type deal. I tried hanging out with her once, but...She's a big raver. That's not really what I'm into, as you can imagine, Gar.

But anyway, I glanced at the register, and there was Casey. She saw me and perked up a little, and then mimed drinking from a cup.

This is embarassing.

On the cup sleeve, she wrote "Cutest couple EVAR!"

She gave me the thumbs up.

Feeling this was important, I kept the sleeve.

And, before you say anything about us not dating then, I left the store with a crush.

A/N: WHY SO SERIOUS? Sorry, I think I'll be able to write a fic like this better, as I have only had hopeless crushes that never amount to anything. Oh, excuse me, ball of angst comin through...