Here is the third chapter guys! This is so awesome.

I am flabbergasted by your support and love of this little story. I really am. I love you all more than we all know Clint loves Darcy...well, maybe not ; )

Anyways, don't own, never will, Heart broken, blah, blah, blah.


After being put through the torture that was the Twilight series, a "right of passage, no matter how craptastic it is", Clint finally convinced himself to go looking for Darcy's Christmas present.

Of course, easier said than done. He'd never bought anything for anyone else. Much less a romantic anyone else. His relationships didn't last that long. And now, he was. Well, a fake one but, details, right?

Okay think, Clint. What does Darcy like? Movies, really likes Batman, books, she absolutely loves Harry Potter, art…what are you going to do? Buy her a painting? Romantic, Hawk. Not generic. Anyone would know that she likes those things…JEWELRY! Isn't jewelry romantic? But what, a ring? No! No. Wrong idea. Get that out of your head NOW. Earrings? No, her ears aren't pierced. "Damn it!"

This was harder than he had originally thought.


Darcy Lewis is the queen of gifts. She had successfully bought Tony Stark, the man with everything, something that he didn't have. More importantly, she'd bought him something he didn't have that he liked. Hell, Jane, doesn't like anything and she bought her a star that she loved. Granted, Jane doesn't know that a star is probably the most cliché present ever. But whatever.

The thing is, Darcy knows people. She could probably buy Natasha Romanov a present that she would like. So buy Clint Barton something should be about as easy as watching Spongebob, right? Um, no.

No, because, with Clint, she over thinks everything. Half the things that she gets everyone else are jokes or just so plain obvious that they beg to be bought.

What do you get the man who's never had Christmas? It's not like he's Steve or Bruce and you can just look into his glass heart to see what he likes. Maybe the thing about Clint is that he's about as guarded as a Las Vegas casino. Even Stark, with all his bravado and smartass comments is still easy enough to read.

Okay, correction, the tall, dark, and handsome/mysterious thing is NOT sexy. It's downright frustrating. Clint, I hate you.


They were currently in Tony's borrowed SUV on the way to Mount Pleasant, PA. "I can't believe you're from Pennsylvania." Clint said after a few minutes of silence.

"Why not?"

"It's just so-ordinary and you're most definitely not." Darcy reached over and hit him on the arm. "Ow!"

"Don't diss Pennsylvania and I won't diss…wherever the hell you're from." Darcy ended. "Where are you from?"

Clint cleared his throat and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "Uh, Texas, mostly."

"Mostly? Did you move around a lot?"

Clint barked out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, you could say that I guess."

"Um…okay?" Darcy said, confused.

"Yeah…so, uh, tell me about the fam."

Darcy's expression brightened. "Well, William is the only boy besides my dad, he's a Marine, been for about 14 years. Straight out of high school. He married the nicest girl, Linda, and they have a son named Spencer, he's four, and the biggest ball of energy you'll ever meet. Caroline is the second oldest and she's a pharmacist. She married Dean two years ago, they're pregnant right now…Um, Georgiana is well, you already know about her."

"Wait…William, Caroline, Georgiana, Darcy. Did your parents name you guys after Pride and Prejudice characters?"

Darcy shrugged. "They're English teachers." Clint burst out laughing. "Stop!" He continued to laugh. "You're mean."

Clint tried to stop his laughter and ended up snorting, very unattractively. "I'm sorry but-come on. Pride and Prejudice? What self-respecting man reads that?"

"The kind that wants to go out on a date with a pretty girl."

"I said 'self-respecting'." Darcy glared at him. "Okay, okay. I'll stop."

"Good."

"So...what's Georgiana like?"

"I thought we already discussed this."

"Saying 'you already know' does not count as telling me what she's like."

"Well, she's the reason you're coming so I'm sure you can figure it out." Clint looked away from the road. "Shouldn't you be watching the road?"

He smirked. "I think you forget who you're talking to."

Darcy looked mock-confused. "Who are you?"

Clint rewarded her with a laugh. "No, but really. Tell me about her."

"She's-she's funny, smart, athletic. Beautiful." Darcy smiled bitterly. "Selfish, clueless...a complete bitch. I love her, don't get me wrong. I do not hate my sister but...I've been under her shadow for so long that I just need this chance before she goes and marries the perfect guy, has the perfect kids, and gets the perfect house."

He was tempted to reach over and take her hand. "Darc...you know that you are one in a million don't you? Just because she has the perfect life right now, doesn't mean she always will. In ten years, this perfect guy is going to have a beer gut and be cheating on her. Her kids will probably disobey and not be as perfect as your imagining. And that perfect house won't really matter in the long run if the family doesn't make it worth living in." She looked up at him through her lashes. "So, don't sell yourself short. And don't place her on a pedestal."

"I should punch you for talking about my family like that."

"You know you won't."

"No. Not yet. I still need you to charm the pants off my family!" And the moment was gone, preferably forgotten by both. Clint, because he never talked like that. Ever. Darcy because guys as perfect as that didn't talk to her, and because pretty soon he was going to take back all those things he said about Georgi soon enough.

They were almost there.


Third chapter, yay! There probably won't be an update this weekend because I'm doing this at my school.

Question: Was Clint too OOC or just squeal-worthy enough? Tell me if I should tone it down.

Read, favorite, alert, and review!

Love Always,

Spit-fire Extraordinaire