Dedicated to Joy.
I've been sick and I came up with these three little OneShots and I wanted to share with you guys and I knew Joy would enjoy them. They are all based on mine, my sister's and Joy's OCs, Angela Stark, Adrienne Mett and Sharon Carver respectfully. More OneShots to come!
Sharon knew as she stood there in the kitchen that her heart was breaking because it was almost like she could physically feel it. If Andy had been there, she would have told Sharon that if her heart actually broke then she would be dead and needed to stop complaining about it, but this…this hurt so bad. The tightening in her chest was making her chest physically hurt and so was her throat as it tightened up as well, large salty tears welling up in her eyes as her breath hitched. No…no, she told herself that she wasn't going to cry about this.
"You broke your promise…" Sharon found herself managing to say.
The words tumbled out and she swallowed to try and regain control of her functions, but it felt like she was swallowing down a painful lump and that made more tears form in her eyes. Still, she stood unblinking and unmoving, steadfast and broken as she tried to stop her knees from knocking together because she wanted to collapse. Just standing there in front of this man that she loved was exhausting her to the point of giving up, but she couldn't.
You just couldn't give up on what you loved.
It was probably the fact that she loved him so much in the first place that had her in this mess, having fought against the feeling for so long. Everything about Loki was a giant red flag, but the first glance had been the wrong glance…or so she had lead herself to believe until this very moment as he laid it all out for her. She immediately had started blaming herself for all of it because she'd let him break down her walls and set up shop in her heart and she just couldn't do this any longer because it was just too hard…and this relationship wasn't supposed to be hard.
Loki wasn't feeling well either, knowing that telling Sharon all of this would hurt her, but he just couldn't bring himself to lie to her. Ever since they'd met he'd been drawn in and he'd given himself to her heart and soul but it just never seemed to be enough—Sharon fought him at every turn because she didn't like to rely on people. The only person that she had ever been able to completely trust and put her faith in besides Angel and Andy was herself, and she hated that she had let Loki in, in the same way because now here he was destroying all of it.
"It had to be done," Loki responded slowly.
Sharon shook her head vigorously. "No, it didn't. In fact it all could have been avoided had you not run in, head held high, trying to be the best. Do you just destroy everything that you touch?"
"Sharon…" Loki warned, but his voice cracked.
Neither of them had been expecting such emotion to back that one word, but they could both hear the pain coming off of it. She was the one woman that he loved and he loved her above all else, but even that love hadn't been able to stop him from trying to go head to head with Thor yet again in an insane power struggle for Asgard. Sharon hadn't even meant to take such an emotional blow at him, but enough was enough and grown men weren't supposed to act like this. She had spent so much of her life falling for and having to escape childish assholes and she thought that Loki was different…thought that he was growing up and learning to work as a team.
"Your own father can't stand you, so he had you banished!" Sharon said, her voice rising as she felt a tension being relieved as she let him have it. "He cast you out because you let enough alone and now you're doing it all over again after promising me that you were past it!"
Loki swallowed as tears began to form in his own eyes. "You don't even know the whole story. Yet again you jump straight to believing every word that comes out of my brother's mouth."
"Andy saw you!"
"And Adrienne is never wrong?"
"I think that trying to fight your brother for power is a little hard to misinterpret!"
The pain etched into Loki's features just seemed to run deeper and deeper and yet the tension in Sharon's body was starting to evaporate. Unfortunately, the tension was being replaced by guilt and it was making her body feel so heavy that she had to sit down and when she did so, Loki looked away from her and she hated it. She felt as though he was ripping out her heart and stomping on it in front of her because he was no longer making eye contact with her. Their intense eye contact was one of their most intimate connections and he was taking that away from her too.
That and her picture of him.
In her mind, Loki was the brother that had felt discarded and he had just wanted to make things right and he'd made a mistake. It was a grave mistake and nothing would ever make it better, but he had found Sharon and they had spent so much time together and the demigod had softened and he had fallen in love with her and for a moment she felt like it was some sort of fairy tale. Like she had tamed the beast and helped him to find himself and become a better man, but he hadn't. This stupid power struggle with his brother had proved for once and for all that he was still Loki, God of Mischief.
Was that all that he would ever be? Was it honestly too much to ask that the two of them get to have some sort of happy ending together? Because Sharon had given in a long time ago to the idea of being with Loki and she certainly couldn't love anyone as much as she loved him because God help her, she had tried. Sharon had tried to love anyone but Loki, but he was already in her heart and she couldn't let him go and she didn't want to…but did she have to? Did she have to walk away, because her legs felt like lead and she couldn't get up if she tried.
"I do not want Thor's throne," Loki tried softly to cut through the silence they'd fallen into.
Sharon looked up at him. "What?"
"I do not wish to possess the throne," Loki repeated with newfound strength. "All that I have wanted since I have found you, is you. You saw me for who I was and made me realize that in order to be happy I do not have to be King of Asgard. All I have to do is love you." Sharon swallowed and opened up her mouth to speak, but nothing came out and Loki nodded and continued. "The fight for you was worth more than any fight for a throne and the fight between Thor and I was not what you think it was. A fight, yes…for his throne, no, even though he thought I was challenging him as well at first…but you do not trust me."
Sharon found her mouth going dry. "You know how closed off I get."
"You should still trust me," Loki responded, looking at her and shaking his head. "I cannot be with you if I know that in a moment's notice you will accuse me of my old ways."
"What were you fighting about?" Sharon found herself asking, her heart racing now.
Loki shook his head and took a step back. "It does not matter now."
"Of course it matters,"
Her last words came out low and desperate and as Loki shook his head again, Sharon started to panic and she felt now like she was really losing him. Arguing was sometimes just how the two of them coped with a given situation but this…this was something that ruined a lot of her relationships: trust. It was a tricky subject for her and it always had been, but she didn't want to lose Loki because she loved him and she couldn't imagine her life without him. Low and behold though, she felt as though she had ruined that for herself too, once again. Loki was heading for the door and she could only just now find the strength to stand.
"I don't want you to leave! I want to talk about this!" Sharon pleaded, tears splashing onto her cheeks. "Look at it from my perspective! You're fighting with your brother and Andy says that Thor is distraught because you're pushing limits again! What do you want from me, Loki?"
"YOUR TRUST!" Loki found himself yelling, not having meant to raise his voice, but he whirled around to look at her as she jumped at the sudden volume of his words. "You are supposed to love me unconditionally…"
Sharon nodded gently. "I do…"
"No, you do not."
"Don't tell me how I feel."
"If you loved me, you would trust me."
His words cut her deep and she found herself letting out a sob as he walked out her door and this time, Sharon didn't know when he was coming back…if he was coming back. She had a terrible feeling that no matter what she said or did at this point, she had just lost him and potentially forever and she couldn't stand that feeling. Right then, Sharon just wanted to die and she found herself falling to her knees and crying into the floor, gasping for breath as her tears spilled out onto the floor and she couldn't believe how in pain she felt. This was a broken heart wasn't it? An honest to God, broken heart…
Note: Just some angst because it makes me happy. I swear I will do a cuter/hotter OneShot for them later on…maybe some Sharon/Loki sex? Their dynamic just intrigues me to no end. Next OneShot soon! Feedback is always appreciated!