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Of Sins and Virtues

Peter guessed he had in the past he had been a participant in all of the 7 sins in some form. And they had never once crossed his mind as bad. Of course he knew it was wrong to do some of those things and he knew he shouldn't do them. He knew that if his wife ever learned about them she would be more hurt than it was possible to imagine.

Greed: Yes greed was something he knew all about. He had been greedy, always wanting more: More power, more money, more influence, never bothering to stop up and think about the consequence of this. Never recognizing how this led him further away from the light, his family, and into darkness, one where he never thought about right or wrong anymore. Never realizing how he was loosing what used to be dearest to him, forgetting them not caring like he used. Not once did he think about how he was wronging others because of this need for more. Charity: Well in name and saying, he guessed that he had practiced in that in the past as well. At least he had been the host and participant at many charity events. However it had never really been about helping others before. Instead it was always only about his public image and helping himself gaining more because of his greed. But as he hosted yet another one of those kind of events and he saw the warmth in his wife's eyes as she looked at him this time, while he spoke about their own donation to victims of abuse. He realized this gave far more, for long time happiness, than gaining more political influence gave him true happiness because more than anything it made Alicia happy, and if he could just see her smiling everyday, he now knew he would be happy as well.

Gluttony: That was something, he used to show in the past when he throw away 3500$, too many times to count on hookers, even when he had a beautiful amazing, loving wife at home. He throw away even more money because of those hotel rooms he used to his encounters. He thought, he could buy everyone and everything, but he had been humbled now, because there was in truth one thing he couldn't buy, Alicia's love, after all if love was not given freely, it was not worth having. Temperance: Yes, that is what he showed around Alicia for so many months. He held back from the desire to take her, to make her his again. To love her and make love to her as he wanted. Instead he restrained himself, when he was in the same room as she. Even as she started to seem be warming up to him, as she started to open up to him again. Even the time she was sweet and almost flirty standing in front of him in a red very appealing suit, he managed to hold back, after all he knew, he could not give in to his desire for her, not until he was completely sure she actually did want him back and it would not hurt her.

Lust: This was probably the one sin most would say he was most "famous" for. After all lust was what had played a huge part in him seeking out hookers even with Alicia at home. He had also always lusted after more power, and he knew now both things had clouded his perception of what he really wanted, Alicia and their family. Chastity: Well it would probably be wrong to use that word about himself, but he had stayed faithful to Alicia even after she kicked him out. He hadn't been with someone else after her and neither did he want someone else. So he had gone in to celibacy in some form. It was not that he didn't have the opportunities or the options he did, but never once did he take the offer from woman trying their luck. Because he now knew the only one he wanted was his wife, and he was not there yet, that he had completely given up hope that she would again some day maybe want him as well.

Sloth: Well he might never have showed this in his work, but he had showed it in his marriage, by not putting as much an effort into making things right, when Alicia learned about his misdeeds. Instead he had just laid back for too long and expected things would work themselves out. He had also showed it by not treating her right in the first place. By just counting on the fact that she would always be there, and he didn't have to work to make that happen. Diligence: Yes, he showed this now. At work by pulling longer hours (and working in them) and trying to do the right things this time in office. In private he did it by working on making a pleasant, relationship with Alicia even if it was only as parents and friends, and not what he truly wanted. He wanted to work on things with her. He wanted to work things out with her, and he want putting an effort into this. After all now he knew that he could loose her completely every minute, that she wouldn't necessarily always be there no matter what.

Envy: Yeah, that was probably the one he could never completely get over, and it was also not one of those that took him into darkness in the first place. However it was one that kept him in it, never completely able to get out. He envied Will Gardner for his relationship with Alicia. He had done that from the moment he learned Alicia had gotten a job for Gardner, and how much time she actually spend with him. And it had only gotten worse when he got out of jail, and saw how much time that actually was. And how the other man could call her late at night, and still make her run to his side like it was nothing. Yes, he was jealous of Will, and it only got worse as he became more and more sure about his intimate relationship with Alicia. He was still jealous even now when he new it was over, because Will had still shared a bed with her. Kindness: Even when he was jealous, and envying Will for his relationship with Alicia, he tried to show kindness to her as much as possible. He knew he was the one who had wronged her, and the reason for their problems. And whatever, happened between them should not hurt their children. So he build some kind of friendship with her. He still loved her, and could never hate her, though he did want to a few time when he knew she was seeing Will. So he showed her they were still able to be kind to each other, at least he tried. That was what he meant by handling the private school thing, so she could relax knowing the kids was at a safer school. It was also what he tried to show by his deposition with Canning and Nyholm. Where he tried to right what he had played a huge part in. Putting Alicia's work in such a bad place, putting her firm and by proxy her at risk.

Wrath: He was famous for this one as well. It always showed, when he let his jealousy get to him. He knew it was what led him to the Grand Jury against Will Gardner. And he knew that all of his anger at the situation was due to the fact that he was truly scared to loose Alicia to Will. That was also the background of so many of their fights, his fear of loosing her to Will. He also knew that, if he learned to keep his anger under control, so him and Alicia could talk clam once more, with out slinging accusations against each other around, they would have a far better chance of ever having something again, but it was hard to let go of anger. Patience: That was not his strongest side. Not at all actually. Still it was what he tried to show by never again rushing his relationship with Alicia. Instead he took his time and hoping she would come back to him in the end. That she would be able to see that this time, he really had changed and wanted her more than anything, and she was the most important thing to him.

Pride: There was great irony in this one... In the past he had been too proud to ever admit he was flawed just like everyone else. He wasn't anymore. However he had also been too proud to admit that he really need to change a lot, to get another chance with Alicia and that one had been hard. It had been even harder to make the changes, and not just admit he needed to do it. However he still felt proud over the kids, over changes he manged to make in his life. And he always felt proud when he looked, at Alicia over how strong she was. Over how much she had manged in so little time, in her career, over her abilities as a mother, over the person she was. And he felt incredible proud that this amazing woman, had been able to forgive him and give him a chance to make up for all his past mistakes up to her. Humility: Sitting there on the bed looking at her in peaceful slumber was amazing. That even with everything he had done, how much he had hurt her, and uprooted her life time after time, she had still been able to forgive him. That she had still been able to look past his sins and see that he had changed that was humbling him.
As she open her eyes and looked at him with those dark green orbs shinning like stars: full of love, adoration and trust was if possible even more mortifying. And he once more swore, just like he had ever since she agreed to give them another chance, that he would spend every second of the rest of his life making his sins up to her.