Honey Pumpkin Sweetie Pie
AN: A little late, but I had to do it after the hey/honey controversy of 8.03.
"I am glad that you both came to me to discuss this, it really shows how you have both grown to trust my insights and how our relationship…"
"All right, Sweets, cut it out. Let's get on with this," Booth sighed. Brennan smirked at Booth's impatience; at least some things were still normal.
"All right, Booth. You have both come to me, asking for my help, individually, but it's time you start working on this together. There are issues here that need to be addressed by both of you."
"I have asked numerous times if Booth was angry with me for leaving. He assures me he isn't."
"That is not the issue I am talking about Dr. Brennan. While that certainly has put a strain on your personal relationship, there are other underlying issues."
"Such as your childhoods and how that has made you both strong individuals, your differing opinion on marriage and religion, and the fact that you have still not learned to communicate…"
"So are you saying that it won't work?" Brennan asked nervously.
"Hey, don't say that!" Booth says to Brennan. Then turning to Sweets, "You were the one who was all, 'take a gamble, Booth,' and telling us we loved each other all of these years!"
"And do you? Do you love each other?"
Booth and Brennan were shocked, "Yes," they said at the same time.
"Then you will be fine. With some work."
Relaxing a bit back into the couch, Booth sighed.
"So, what do we do now?" Brennan asked wearily.
"Now, I want you both to listen to what I have to say before inter…"
Booth turned to Brennan, "I have a feeling I am not going to like this."
"…upting me. Booth."
"He's probably correct, Dr. Sweets. Your preface indicated that this would be something we both would not want any part in."
Shaking his head, Sweets continued as if they hadn't said anything. "What I am going to suggest to both of you may sound stupid, but I want you to think about it. There are some aspects of dating that you both missed out on. I think you should have a re-do."
"Like what? Dinner and movie then a drive home when I try to cop a feel?"
"Ooo, I know what that means. I like when you cop feels." Brennan said excitedly as she smiled at Booth.
"Yes. Making out and pet names. Date nights and long conversations about your childhoods over coffee. All of those getting to know you things."
"I'm in," Booth says as he smirks at Bones.
"I'm impressed, Agent Booth. I thought you would not like some of my suggestions."
"What's not to like? Making out with my girl in the backseat of the car…"
"Clearly you stopped listening at 'making out,'" Sweets sighed.
"But we do use nicknames. I'm Bones and he's Booth."
"Using someone's surname is not a pet name, Dr. Brennan. You both call me 'Sweets'. And although Bones is a nickname it is not a pet name. Things like Sweetie..."
"That's what Angela calls me," Brennan interrupted.
"Or dear, darling, love..." Sweets continued.
"So, what, I'm supposed to call her 'Honey' now?"
"I am not telling you what labels to use, you can be as creative as you like."
"My father calls me 'Honey,' maybe you should pick something else."
"OK, what about 'Pumpkin'?
"Pumpkin? I am neither orange nor a gourd. And I hope you do not see me as shaped like a pumpkin…"
"Of, course not Bones, you are many, wonderful, shapes, but not a pumpkin." Booth thought he heard a whispered 'mangoes' from the peanut gallery and glared at Sweets.
Clearing his throat, Sweets continued, "You do not have to decide on a name today, it should come naturally. Just think about what I said. Think about starting at the beginning and finding your comfort zone again." Booth was still glaring at Sweets and the doctor knew he would pay for his slip up.
Just then the murder line rang. As Booth took the call, Brennan turned to Sweets, "Thank you, Dr. Sweets, I am not sure how your advice will work out as of yet, but I think this was a productive session."
"Thank you Dr. Brennan."
Booth and Brennan stood up to leave and Sweets gave a smile to his two patients, feeling confident about his advice. Booth got off the phone and tuned back to Sweets.
"Yeah, thanks, there, Sweetie Pie. I'll talk to you later."
Sweets swallowed hard as he watched them leave. Maybe suggesting pet names was not such a good idea after all.