Disclaimer: I own nothing but, my creative license to bend Fifty Shades into whatever I want! ;)
A/N: I didn't expect to get this done with how long I've been awake and dealing with hospitals and my mum's op... But it would appear that a SURPRISE is in order! You got an update =) I think tiredness agreed to write faster than usual for me...
Excuse mistakes... Eighteen hours awake, lots of driving and hanging around on a hospital ward are not fun for keeping alert and awake... However, enjoy!
A Heart Worth Fifty Shades – Chapter Twelve
"We need to talk," Kate said after being let into Christian's office by Andrea. She sauntered in and looked to Christian and spoke before he could get a chance to even greet her. "It's to do with Ana," She saw that got a reaction and he sat up straight as she sat down in one of the chairs opposite.
"What about her? Is she okay?" Christian asked with evident agitation. He sat up straight, ready to run out the door, hand on phone to get Taylor ready to flee.
Kate sat forward, her palms laying flat to the desk top and she tapped her fingers, "I need you to keep calm and do not blow a fuse," Kate begged him suddenly. "Please."
"What is it, Katherine?" Christian pushed for more answers. It was something to do with Ana and now Kate was begging him to be calm and collect with what she was about to say. "What's wrong with Ana?"
"She kept something from you and I know you're exploring a new relationship but she didn't do this out of deceit. She did this because she's scared of finding herself rushing things and you control everything all over again because lately she is just loving you and this no drama life," Kate tried to create a calm before telling him.
"What is she hiding from me?" Christian asked and Kate could only guess it was fear in his voice as his mind created scenarios that could possibly be happening to Ana. The first and foremost one was that Ana was already running from this life. That she didn't actually want to be here with him like she had first thought. He had images of her fleeing again. Her sad face looking out the back window of the car as she drove off the first time with her parents. That one memory still haunting him terribly even in the waking hours of life.
"She's having surgery right now on her arm," Kate let out that one piece of information and sat up straight. "She didn't want to tell you until after, but after I left her about half an hour ago I couldn't hold it any longer. I was going to tell you, but once I knew I could give you good news, but she needs you now. I could see she regretted not telling you. Right before she went down she told Carla that you would hate her for it and she deserved that reaction." Kate was trying to read Christian's expression but she couldn't deduce what it was exactly he was thinking. "She's still lost and this is all new for her, Christian. She's still learning that we're all back in her life and that she has you and she's trying to step back into this life while trying to gather together the fact that everything changed you. That you aren't the Christian she meant. You're a different, better version now."
Christian still didn't give a change in emotion. The only thing that morphed before her were the changes in his eyes – thoughtful, remorse, anguish, worry. It was all there in his still stare.
"Can I trust you to be there when she wakes up and show her that you're learning as much as she is and that you both need to grow and develop in this new life together?" Kate asked, her own worry about the damage she had just created manifesting. "Speak for God's sake, Grey!" She barked when he said absolutely nothing.
She bolted up from her seat and paced, panicky that she had not just fucked up but, royally fucked up. She had just bombarded him with something her best friend had vowed her to wait to tell him. However, she could read Ana as well as Christian could and she knew she was regretting never letting him be there with her. The fear might have been enormous, but her dread and regret outshone it.
"She's having surgery?" He suddenly asked, the shock of the moment seemingly lifting from his body. His eyes lifted to Kate's just as she nodded her non-verbal answer. "Right now?"
"Right now," She repeated with verification.
Christian stood, grabbing his phone, "I need to get there now."
"You need to know that she thought of you in this," She broached that subject, "She was terrified of how you would react to seeing her in a hospital bed all over again. She didn't want to cause a setback or ruin anything. She thinks that by allowing her to get this done on her own is better than having us around. She's still scared of some things."
"Well that's about to change," Christian alerted her, making a quick call to Taylor to get him ready. He looked to Kate and guessed the hospital, happy when she nodded and agreed to meet him down and outside within the next five minutes. "She is not going through anything alone anymore, not now I have her back. Not ever." He told Kate and he could see how proud she was looking, "I am going there and I am not leaving her until I can take her home."
"You're not angry?" Kate asked stopping him in his tracks.
And for once, Christian realised that he wasn't upset or angry.
He respected her, he had to. For them to work he needed to look after her and care for her how she wanted to be looked after. This was about them evolving as a couple and building a life together. It was only two weeks into being back together and he knew she was scared about this. He could read it on her.
This time he was going to go to the hospital, sit by her bedside and do nothing but make her smile. He didn't care what it took, he was going to prove to her that he wasn't angry and nor would he be. It was about them and he owed her that much in the sense that she wanted his love and he would give it to get. Their love would shine.
"No, I'm not," He told her and ran from his office, leaving her behind only to follow on his trail a few seconds later.
Christian had changed for good.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- A Heart Worth Fifty Shades -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Christian had long since sent Carla and Ray off to get something to eat and some fresh air. They had sat in the waiting room longer than he or Kate had and he needed a moment alone with Ana now she was in her own room. He needed to watch her and evaluate and pray that she would just wake up for him. He knew Kate would be back soon. After all, all she was doing was ringing his brother to alert him about this. Who would then alert the entire family. He had nothing to worry about with the news travelling and he knew that with his mother being at work, she would be here as soon as she heard the news.
He heard Ana's breathing change, her head moving slightly as she groaned and tried to move only to feel a restriction. He heard her moan out in discomfort as her eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the light in the room. This was the second time she would be awake since the surgery was over, but unlike before he was here and not some recovery room nurse.
"Hey," Christian said and sprung from his seat, immediately taking to her side. Nothing mattered but the fact that she was awake, "How you feeling?"
Ana swallowed against her dry throat and shook her head to shift some of the fog, "What are you doing here?" She asked him confused, disregarding his question. "I-I-"
"You didn't tell me," Christian told her, his tone a little dense with minor anger that diminished instantly. "Kate called me to tell me what you were having done today with your arm. You'd think I wouldn't try and look after you?"
"And control the hospital," Ana joked tiredly as she tried to wake up more and more. She felt like she had been eating cotton wool. That or she hadn't had a drink in years. "It wasn't I didn't want you here, Christian," She started to explain, her voice nothing more than a croaky whisper, "I want us to work our way back up to what we had. Not just throw ourselves together."
Christian took a deep breath and relented, listening to her, "Then, Baby, I'll work my way back into your heart."
"You don't have to do that," Ana told him truthfully. "It's only been you that fits there." Suddenly it hit her and she felt her eyes begin to well up, "I didn't do this because I didn't trust you to know or because I didn't want you here, you know that right?" She tried to sit up but with her hand in traction to help with the pressure it was hard, "Oh God, I've screwed up again."
She just resulted in sobbing. A direct result of too many narcotics in her system and a sudden blind panic that she had lost everything had her reaction pouring out in bucketfuls. She guessed his anger would come out with due time and for now he was placating the moment and as much as she wanted to bring herself to beg him to get it over with, she still felt too out of it to anything but cry uncontrollably.
"Hey now, none of that," Christian soothed her, sitting himself on the edge of her bed.
"I did the wrong thing again," She heaved as she tried to calm down. "I'm sorry, I did the wrong thing. I'm so sorry." Her face screwed up again as more tears came and she wished she had just told him now. Every time she thought she was able to make the right decisions she felt like she was just pushing herself further back.
Further away from Christian.
"Baby," Christian cut in, trying to stop her tears, "I need you to take a few deep breaths for me and calm down. You do not need to be getting your blood pressure up no more than two hours after surgery." He saw her look to him, her chest still heaving with her sobs. "Can you stop crying for me?" He saw her give a little shrug, "What if I said I do not hate you or think you've done something wrong for not telling me?" He asked her, "Because I don't."
"You don't?" She questioned him back meekly, her breaths a hiccup as she continued to calm.
"No, Baby, I don't," Christina told her confidently and issued her with a small grin, "I have to admit that I knew I could have felt angry and sad and a part of me could have resented you, but all I felt was the overwhelming need to get here. I had to be here for you when you woke up and I vow I will never be leaving your side."
"Ever?" Ana asked dryly, an eyebrow cocking up with a slight bout of sarcasm.
"If I have it my way it will be ever," Christian replied and watched her smile tiredly at him. "I will stay at yours and help you. I know you have your parents and you want to take this slow and develop a relationship but at least give me this as a form of peace of mind. I need to know I can look after you."
"I think you already know that," Ana told him and shifted a little, biting her lip in pain.
"Are you in pain?" He jumped on her quickly with that question. "Do I need to grab a nurse or a doctor? I will get them here now."
"Calm it," Ana told him instantly. "It hurts when I move but that's all. I'm okay now. See," She told him and smiled to try and settle him. Deciding her best bet right now was to move this on and away from his worry over her pain threshold, she smirked a little grabbing his attention for a lighter reason. "Am I getting hearts and romance?" Ana asked meekly as Christian just sat beside her, hand in hers, eyes watching her intently.
"More than you can even count," Christian replied and smirked. "I love you, Ana Steele and I can forgive everything now you're back in my life. Just know that you can tell me anything, and I mean anything, you need to and I will never make you feel anything but loved. I hope you see that now."
"I do," Ana replied tiredly, giving a little yawn as she tired again.
"And you won't do it again," He told her, his tone low and full with knowing as he read her like an open book.
"I really won't," Ana vowed, knowing she could now tell him anything of any degree of seriousness and he would be there up front and ready to deal with it. She might have chosen wrong a few days before but her man had proven that he had changed enough to look after her regardless of her stupid decisions – Ones she wouldn't be making anytime soon.
"Just remember one thing, Ana," He said as he leaned in, his hand pushing some unruly hair back out of her face. "I'm in for the long haul," He promised her and sealed the deal on their relationship.
"The long haul?" She questioned, not really sure if this was reality or the drugs streaming her system.
Christian grinned at her, his hand grazing along her jaw line, "The long haul, Miss. Steele."
She knew it was reality when he leaned in and kissed her gently.