Hi! I'm on a funny Akatsuki writing spree, and this is the second one after The Barney Apocalypse where it mentions in the summary that what happened was worse than when Deidara discovered the atomic bomb.
So this is Deidara's Funny Moments.
I don't own Naruto or the atomic bomb or anything that could be owned in here. Except for the plot, I guess.
Deidara did not look up from his clay sculpting, instead focusing harder on his bird and humming louder. Sasori heaved a sigh of exasperation before continuing monotonously,
"Brat. Leader-sama would like to inform you that he is holding a meeting and-"
"I don't care, uhn. Art takes priority over anything else, uhn."
"Even if he said that if you didn't come, Itachi would punish you?"
Deidara's eye widened at the thought of Itachi placing him in Tsukiyomi and showing him pictures of puppets that were labeled "True Art" and clay sculptures that exploded and were labeled "Cheap Ripoff Art".
"OK DANNA GOT TO GO TO MEETING UHN!" called Deidara as he ran out. A girlish scream was heard and a thud. Sasori stepped out to see an unconscious Deidara and Itachi standing there.
Itachi nodded once as a greeting.
Sasori nodded back before picking up Deidara and walking to the meeting room.
"You three are late." Leader-sama sat on his DToAD (Dark Throne of Awesome Doom) and was wearing his DaMACoD (Dark and Mysterious Awesome Cloud of Doom).
Sasori pointed to Deidara.
Itachi pointed to his pocky box.
Deidara was unconscious.
"...Right. Moving on..."
Leader nodded at Deidara.
"I hope you know what to do, correct?"
Deidara nodded. "I go in the Konoha facility of nuclear bombs, steal the atomic bomb, and sneak out."
"Good. You will also be working with Tobi. He'll provide the distraction needed."
"Alright, uh-WAIT WHAT?!"
"Tobi is going."
"No. Way. Uhn."
"Too late, Deidara." Leader raised his voice. "TOBI! COME HERE PLEASE!"
A man with an orange mask lept in.
"Tobi at your service, Leader-san-kun-chan-sama-sempai-sensei-sama-kun-san-sempai-"
"Tobi, Deidara wants you to distract the guards at the facility."
"Tobi, shut up, uhn."
Kotetsu slowly turned to see the man with an orange mask that was dressed in shockingly bright rainbow clothes.
His partner Izumo seemed surprised.
"Yes?" asked Izumo.
"Ah! Tobi is here to ask you something!"
"What is it?"
"Well...um...Tobi forgot..." seeing the guards' bored expressions, Tobi quickly added,
"But it had something to do with black! And red clouds! ANd what else...wait. Let Tobi remember..."
While Tobi was trying to figure out an extremely complicated question, Deidara was sneaking into the facility. Using his super-awesome ninja feet and his super-awesome chakra to climb the not-super-awesome wall was freakishly easy, so Deidara had no trouble finding the bombs and sealing them into scrolls.
"...And you can stop right there." Deidara slowly turned and stared. 30 ROOT ANBU were standing there, ready to kill him.
"You have commited grave crimes and we shall execute you on the stop, miss."
Deidara's killing intent grew. "Did. You. Just. Call. Me. A. Miss?"
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL UHN!" screamed Deidara before unleashing the fury of a Deidara who was mistaken for a girl.
"Tobi will remember the question...just give Tobi some time..." said Tobi was he sat there.
Izumo and Kotetsu looked at each other in exasperation before sending a shadow clone off to get something to read.
Deidara left behind 30 defeated Konoha elites and a severly burned up bomb facility. He happily flew back to the Akatsuki hideout, not noticing that he had forgotten something.
The rest of the Akatsuki welcomed him back.
Meanwhile, at Konoha...
"Tobi is sure that Tobi will remember Tobi's question..."
"Did you ever notice that Deidara has completely forgotten about Tobi?"
"...Yes, I did, Itachi-san. But why bring it up now?"
"Someone has gone through my pocky, and Tobi is the only one who cares about pocky enough to help me."
Kisame sighed. Itachi's obsession with pocky was the same as dango. The only reason Itachi ate pocky more was because dango did not taste good when it was cold.
He was also fiercely protective of his pocky (It was like Kakuzu when it came to money) and would be severly disturbed to haters of pocky. Like that time with the Kumo shinobi...
"Don't worry, Itachi-san, it's your lucky day."
"Why is that, Kisame?"
"I went out today and I found some dango-flavoured pocky."
"Yeah." Kisame was half-telling the truth, it fact, he had simply had the dango maker wrap the dango around pocky sticks.
"Thank you, Kisame-san."
Kisame felt a bit surprised. Itachi did not call anyone "-san" or "-sama" unless he highly respected the person. So far, he was the second of the Akatsuki to receive the title (Leader was first).
Still in Konoha...
"Aha! Tobi remembers now!" Tobi jumped up brightly, to see no one in sight.
"But, if no one is here, Tobi will forge- aww, Tobi forgot his question..."
Deidara grinned. This so-called "atomic bomb was quite fun. And effective. A bright idea suddenly popped into his head.
Time to see if this could kill Tobi.
An hour of chasing later, Deidara had thrown the bomb at Tobi point blank. He was cackling madly until a familiar voice asked from behind him,
"Wow! That was so cool! Can Deidara-sempai make more?"
Deidara slowly turned in horror to see a perfectly unharmed Tobi.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, UUUHHHHNNNN!" the cry came across the entire shinobi world.
Next will be Sasori's turn!
Which pair do you want to go next?
Itachi and Kisame?
Hidan and Kakuzu?
Leader-sama and Konan?
Or Tobi and Zetsu?
Review and tell me!