Author's note: I wrote this story down just to shut my head up and try to study a little bit. I was reading my Animal Husbandry notes and images just kept flowing into my head, I really needed to put them to stop. This is just a drabble actually, I wrote it in an afternoon, I mainly corrected grammar mistakes(And I'm pretty sure there still are plenty that I missed, and in a month I'll read this and curse myself for that, it's always like this)
My very first attempt at mpreg, plus this pairing is still new to me(but I love it so much!), so critiques and advices are all welcome.
I don't this is one of my best works ever.
Now stop. This A/N is too long
Discalimers: I don't own Hetalia
Warnings: Yaoi, mpreg, some violence and occasional violence.
Pregnant? Lars with a bun in the oven? The Dutch a future mother?
It doesn't matter how you say that, it sounded weird anyway. A pregnant man was already strange, and even if he was a girl, Lars didn't match the motherly type at all. But we all know, biology can be an asshole whenever it decides so.
And, what about him? He knocked a man up in a way that defining "cruel" was just reductive. And what about him? What could he do now? As far as he learnt from Laura, Lars made no names, why? Mathias felt the need to speak with Lars face to face.
Holy hell, the Dutch didn't contact him for three months, what if he didn't want to share anything never again?
"Serves him right! He wants to do everything all alone, well then, I'm not gonna show my face to him! Selfish prick!" he screamed as to justify himself, but the voice of conscience was far more louder, it just kept yelling at him to do the right choice.
All these contrasting emotions mixed together gave him a killer migraine, and Mathias decided to heal them with the best cure he knew: beer.
Beer over beer, over beer, over beer.
He drank crazily, unaware of the dangerous alley he was about to cross: memories.
Lars was under the combined effect of beer and alcohol, his face bright red, his body shaking and features twitching in pain as the other thrust into him mercilessly "Scream you Dutch slut! Scream out loud!" he commanded, grabbing on Lars' hips so strong to leave red marks on them. All this roughness started with some kind of stupid drunken verbal fight, the subject was still a doubt, and ended with Mathias waking up all alone in his bedroom, a message in his mobile
"This never happened"
Lars then disappeared.
Mathias whimpered in his sleep, feeling an increasing sense of guilt building up in his chest , tears at the corners of his eyes "I raped him!" he yelled, before exploding into a violent sequence of sobs and whimpers. The fact that Lars didn't resist or anything didn't change the fact that Mathias shouldn't have acted like that.
Now he knew, he really needed to see him.
The Dutch's house was oddly silent, or at least that was what Mathias thought crossing the path in the middle of the well kept garden.
His heart raced so fast and so loud as he waited on the doorstep for the other to open.
The front door opened tentatively, Lars' eyes opened wide in shock "What are you doing here?" he asked bitterly.
"I think there's something we need to talk about"
"Nothing that concerns you, excuse me, but I'm busy at the moment"
Lars made as to close the door, but the Dane prevented him to "No man, this concerns me, you know that"
The Dutch sighed in defeat, letting the other in. He was in his football tracksuit and gave his mate the back, as to completely refuse any eye contact.
Even though he was on his backside, Mathias could see the growing bulge under the blue jacket. It was true, after all.
Despite the appearance, the Dutch was his usual old self
"I guess Laura told you"
"Yes, she did. How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine, thank you. I was doing exercises for my legs, I don't have the least idea on ruining my sport career"
"A man in your estate shouldn't force himself into physical exercise, you know…for the kid's safety"
"A man shouldn't be in this estate in the first place! But I guess you haven't come all the way here to check on my training sessions…"
Now they were facing each other, Mathias felt uneasy at the sight of the unlikely future mother; he sank on the armchair in the hall, pushing back some locks of hair with his hand.
"No, I'm not. Why didn't you tell me this before?"
"Why should I?"
"We were in two on that futon!"
"And who was on the bottom, completely unable to react?"
The Dutch didn't miss a shot. He spitted out each word with venom.
"We were both high! You can't put all the blame on me!"
He didn't debate, just let himself slip on the other armchair with an emotionless expression on his face.
"I want to be part of it, Lars. I must take my responsibilities when I'm still in time"
"it's not going to work, you should know that. Please, leave while you're still in time. I'm perfectly fine all on my own"
"I doubt it. Pregnancy has unexpected consequences in women, I don't know what could happen with a man!"
"That's a good point. You are forgetting that I don't want you around!"
It hurt to hear, even if he was too thickheaded and stubborn to admit it, those words cut Mathias' heart like a sharp sword.
"I won't bother you. I want to be here just in case…"
Lars shook his head, grunting "You're talking like I agreed to host you here.. but I guess the only way to shut you up is either beating the shit out of you, or letting you stay. I'm feeling lazy lately, you can stay…" he then stood up, going towards his exercising machine again "…You'd better find yourself a hobby or something, I'm pretty busy as you can see"
Mathias agreed to sleep on the couch.
Even though they began living together, they hadn't had a proper conversation, they always (forcefully) minded their own business, except Mathias that sometimes gave Lars an extra look, especially when the other was at his exercises.
The memories of that night still bothered Mathias in his sleep.
One night, taken by an attack of thirst, Lars went down to the kitchen, but he stopped in front of the living room because of strange moans and cries coming from the couch.
Overtaken by curiosity, he went to check on his mate, who was shivering, clutching the blankets around him.
He knelt down, putting a hand on Mathias' shoulder and shaking him awake "You're annoying the entire neighborhood. Cut it out already."
The Dane opened his eyes, red for the tears "S…sorry…..just a nightmare"
"Come with me, I'll make you something"
They padded to the kitchen in silence as usual.
A month of complete silence.
"What were you dreaming?" asked Lars, point-blankly, sitting opposite to his mate.
Mathias shook his head, god only knew how bad Lars would have reacted at the mention of that past event.
He stare at the belly containing their child, and there, the Dutch did something unexpected: he rolled his shirt up, exposing the swollen stomach "Do you want to feel him moving?"
Mathias' eyes widened in surprise "Can I?"
"You're the father, it's your right after all"
The Dane leaned a hand on the warm skin, feeling some kind of a kick against his palms, he gasped at the sudden motion "Hey, you there, are you recognizing your dad, right?" he then leaned his cheek, feeling more hits "It's incredible…" he breathed in a marveled manner, feeling his own child moving was an extraordinary feeling
"Mathias.." said man looked up, it wasn't so often that Lars used his first name
"This situation of forced silence pissed me off already. Honestly, I was waiting for you to speak first, but if I don't begin, I doubt I'll ever hear anything from your part" he pushed the other's chin up, forcing an eye contact "Why do you think I didn't push you away?"
Mathias looked away ashamed "You were under the combined effect of alcohol and weed, I didn't think you figured the whole thing out"
"As I was expecting…" Lars took a deep breath before continuing. And if someone looked at him closer, there was the slightest pink color building up on his cheeks "…Your brain doesn't work good. Have you ever thought that I didn't react because I wanted to?"
This answer took Mathias aback, he stared at the man before him in pure surprise "You what?"
Lars faced away, trying to hold back his repressed rage "I just realized I did a huge mistake. You didn't even say my name the whole time. Besides, I felt like you were doing everything on your own, not minding about how I was feeling" he added, cold as always. He gathered the empty cups and put them in the sink "It's fine if you want to stay for the baby, but please don0t feel like you owe anything to me. If we don't have to share anything, then, pretending is useless" with that he left Mathias and his increasing doubts alone.
"He wanted to" he whispered "He wanted to, was the same to me?" he toyed with the glass ashtray "I hurt him, he screamed the whole time. And that wasn't for pleasure, that was pain, I was rough and careless. We didn't even share a kiss the whole time!"
Deciding that a shower would have helped him to reflect, he made his way up to the bathroom.
While walking along the corridor , he noticed the bedroom door wasn't closed; he guessed it was for the nausea, even though the other didn't say a thing, even if the other didn't say anything, he puked his stomach out six or seven times that wee. Doesn't matter how manly he was, pregnancy's symptoms would have been showing sooner or later.
He peeked inside the bedroom. Lars was there, laying on his side, one hand under his head and the other on his stomach.
No, he didn't match the motherly type of person at all, there wasn't a trace of femininity, neither in the back of his head. Well, he was a man, a pregnant one, but always a man, what did he expect?
But he was beautiful anyway. Even though Mathias wasn't sure on how to call that feeling, there was actually some bond between them. Lars had his charm, that cold expression never leaving his face, as he cared nothing about everything that surrounded him.
Did he cry after what happened? Because if things were reversed, Mathias sworn he'd cried his heart out for days, and would have annoyed Lars, calling him for days to get some help.
Lars instead, insisted on doing everything on his own, just asking Laura to go shopping for him, in order to don't show himself in public.
He couldn't look away from the sleeping figure, he wanted to lay there beside him, but Lars spared him once, an act like that would have cost him the life, he was sure of that.
It went like this for something like a month, with Mathias sneaking in Lars' room, staring at him while sleeping and sneaking out before the other could wake up.
Even though they spoke a little bit more, and the atmosphere was less dense, they didn't seem to get close enough, and the more time passed, the more Mathias realized how powerful was the feeling he had for that boy.
One morning, Mathias was waken up by the feeling of a steady breath behind his neck, opening his eyes, he could notice the room he was in wasn't the living room, he was in the bedroom. He turned on his opposite side to see he was sleeping next to Lars. The motion was so sudden that the other woke up as well
"What the… you had nightmares again?"
Mathias sat up, taking a look around as to ensure he wasn't dreaming "How did I get here?" he asked in confusion
"You were sleeping on the floor with your head leaned against the bedside table, what was I supposed to do? You wouldn't wake up"
"I see, I…I wasn't doing anything mean…trust me"
His face was redder than ever, now that Lars found him out, it was time to confess everything, he couldn't hold it back any longer. He was feeling strange, his hear pounded crazy, he could feel himself heating up and sweating "Lars, I….I'm sorry…I…I shouldn't have let it happen….or at least did it in a different way" he felt tears forming at the corners of his eyes "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! You didn't deserve it at all! I know you hate me, how to blame you?"
Moved by the scene, Lars broke his cold barrier and hugged him tight, letting the poor Dane to sob and whimper on his chest "I really wanted you….just…I didn't realize it…the alcohol pushed me too far…I didn't mean to hurt you"
Lars patted his head " There, there. You took your time to understand it…I was starting to doubt"
He lifted Mathias' face up, wiping away the rest of the tears "Stop crying, you idiot, look at me"
Trembling blue orbs stared in green ones, as the Dutch slowly leaned in, placing his lips over Mathias'. Eyes shut closed as their lips and tongues moved together, in what could be defined as "their first kiss"
"I love you, stupid idiot of a Dane"
Despite the words' choice, Lars tone was strangely sweet, Mathias' face turned bright red "I…I love you too…" he stuttered out.
Their attention was taken by a sudden motion of the kid, the father leaned a hand over the bulge, feeling another kick as he did so "Seems like someone here wants to be part of it too" Mathias smiled as he leaned his head on Lars' shoulder, happy that everything had finally fixed up.
The pregnancy went on almost without any complications , Lars could deal with the symptoms pretty well . there were times he was forced in bed for his aching back, and a few times he had mood changes that leaded him to shout enraged at the poor Mathias for whatever reason .
Sometimes they fought because Lars insisted on working out and deal with the garden, accusing Mathias to be a flower killer and declaring him unable to deal with anything concerning plants and similar.
One night, they were having dinner in front of the TV "Ouch! This guy's gonna be a great football play—argh! This was strong!" more kicks and movements followed, Lars bent forward holding his aching stomach
"Oh god! Lars!"
Losing no time, Mathias helped him up and brought his boyfriend to the car. He drove to the hospital fast, as there were no speed limits
"Geez! It hurts! I don't think I can make it!"
"Come on love, stay strong, we're almost at the hospital!"
As they arrived, some nurses brought Lars to the surgery room. As it was a special and delicate case, they didn't allow Mathias in, who protested in vain.
Hour after hour, passed like days. Mathias walked back and forth in the waiting room like a fool. Was everything alright? Why were they keeping him so long?
After twelve hours, a nurse appeared holding a register in her hands "Mr. Køhler?"
He ran towards the nurse, not liking her poker face at all
"Yes, it's me, is everything alright?"
"Please follow me"
What a good answer.
They walked through the corridor towards the wing were rooms were situated. The nurse stopped in front one "616" was printed above. As the door opened, Mathias faced Lars, tiredness printed on his face, but he was smiling and gently rocking a little baby in his arms.
"Congratulations, it's a girl" announced the nurse in an almost automatic voice.
He literally ran to the bed, kissing his boyfriend and looking at the sleeping little girl in his arms.
"Sorry they made you wait for so long. I had a cesarean section, they waited for me to wake up before calling you"
"Oh my..how are you feeling?"
Lars looked down at the baby "Surely better than before" he then moved the sleeping figure towards Mathias "Wanna hold her?"
"Here, hold her head up"
"How are we naming her?" Mathias asked in a sweet and low voice
"She's so calm…I think Grace fits her perfectly. What do you think?"
"Gr…Grace is fine…" Mathias sniffed
"What? Are you crying perhaps?" teased Lars
"N…no, it's just that…oh god, I can't believe it!"
Grace opened her little eyes that were bright green as her mother, she yawned and went back to sleep.
Lars caressed Mathias' cheek "What's wrong? You look worried"
His boyfriend looked down at the sleeping bundle once again "Maybe a little, I mean, she has two men as parents, how will other kids treat her? What will people say?"
Lars rolled his eyes "You're a sissy, you know that? Just calm down, I'm pretty sure everything will be fine. Just look at us, I, among all of people, gave birth and you learnt to say sorry. After that, raising a kid wouldn't be too hard! Stop complaining like a girl…" Lars leaned a hand over Mathias' knee "I know we can do it"
Nine years later
A young girl came running to the kitchen, sitting on the stool and leaving her bag on the floor, Mathias turned the stove off "Hey, sweetheart, you're back" he leaned to kiss his daughter on the forehead. She smiled and gave her father a light squeeze, then she fell silent toying with a lock of her impossible to tame hair (she had to thank her father for those)
"Dad, can I ask you a thing?"
"Sure, you know you can tell me everything"
Grace looked down as if she was ashamed "Am I adopted?"
Mathias froze, he knew this day would have come, he just didn't expect it being so sudden "Why would you think such a thing?"
"My school mates said that just a man and a woman could have kids"
"Don't listen to them. You are ours daughter, I swear it on my head"
"But they keep saying that it's not natural!"
At this point, Mathias ran out of possible answers, how could he explain that to a nine year old girl?
"I know it sounds weird, but you have to trust me. Why should I be lying?"
Lars was looking at the scene in amusement. It was incredible how few took a person to put his husband with the back against the wall. Seeing that grace was leaving him no way out, he decided to take action.
"I think what you father is trying to say grace is that biology and genetics is a complex thing. A woman and a man having a child is the rule, and we represent the exception. Do you remember the case of the kid born with two heads?"
"Well, now answer me, do kids normally have two heads?"
"I guess not."
"But it still happens, is a rare chance, but it happens. It depends on how genes behave. In my case they made me able to have kids, while, other man, as your father can't. I know it's a little bit hard to understand at the moment, but I guarantee that's how things went"
He then lifted his shirt up, showing the scar of the cesarean section "Look, the doctors had to cut here to take you out. And if this isn't still enough for you, just look at yourself in the mirror and think about us, you should see your resemblances"
Grace nodded, hugging her mother "Thank you mom, they are really annoying"
"Don't pay attention to them, mean people will always have something to say against you, they'd found another excuse if you weren't our daughter, don't worry. Just avoid them, they don't deserve to be your friends" Mathias ruffled her hair, well, he had his smart moments as well.
"Thank you dad, I'm feeling better right now. I never thought I was adopted, but they really put that in my mind. I think they did it on purpose. Jeff's parents often fight and Karen's mother is gone several years ago"
"Just envy, like when your uncle Bjorn made fun of my fur boots, he wanted them but I bought them before him!"
Lars and Grace stared at Mathias, who was wearing a proud grin "No dear, Bjorn said that because they were actually horrible…and stinky"
"You all keep on saying that, they were fantastic!" he said as hw moved away from the kitchen "Where's he going?"
"Not sure, perhaps he's going to check the smell of his old boots"
"Mom, don't tell him out, I'm glad I haven't taken his odd habits"
Lars smiled "Don't worry, that couldn't be explained with the genetics neither"