Wow two one-shots in one day. I have no idea what came over to me, well this idea has been in my mind for months and I though let's write it on paper so the story won't haunt me anymore.
Sora: You're trying to make fun of us now?
Me: Yeah. I love Kingdom Hearts and writing parodies is another thing that I love.
Riku: But we did nothing wrong?
Me: Be happy that it's just a one-shot.
Sora: She has a point.
Riku: Fine, please don't decide to write any other parodies of our series.
Me: I'll think about. Now disclaimer… Kairi you can do the honor.
Kairi: Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square Enix. xxxDreamingflowerxxx only owns the ideas of her stories.
Keyblade friend one-shot
You never know when you'll lose the ones close to you. It feels like yesterday that we were still laughing and playing together. But now they're gone and I couldn't stop the heartless from invading my hometown. The girl I loved disappeared inside me and my best friend turned into a keyblade…
Sora stood in the middle of Traverse Town hugging his keyblade tightly. "Oh Riku, how could this happen! You were right in front of me and when I tried to take your hand you became this! A weapon to kill enemies! Even though I don't want you to get hurt or become dirty, but there is no other choice. We must do this together so we can find Kairi's body! Don't worry I'll make sure you'll be safe! We won't be separated anymore!"
Sora was too obsessed with his 'keyblade friend' that he didn't notice someone walking up to him. "What's wrong?! You're so hopeless."
Sora didn't look at the person, instead he kept sobbing. "My… my best friend turned into… A KEYBLADE! WAAHHAAAA!"
The guy rubbed his forehead. "Geez you're really nothing without me Sora."
Sora stopped crying and looked at his keyblade. "Riku?! You can talk?!"
"Of course I can! I am right behind you dumbass!"
Sora still didn't pay attention and started to hug his keyblade even tighter. "Riku! I missed you so! I was afraid that you'd be a mute keyblade forever!"
"Dork! I didn't turn into a keyblade! I-am-right-here-behind-you!"
"RIKKUUUU!" Sora started to kiss his keyblade in an awkward manner.
Donald and Goofy watched the embarrassing scene, none of the two wanted to say something. Donald trying his best to not burst into maniacal laughter and Goofy was giggling silently.
"GODDAMMIT SORA I AM RIGHT HERE! TURN AROUND FOR ONCE!"
"I'll never let you go Riku! From now on we'll do everything together! We'll sleep, bathe and eat together. We'll be together twenty-four hours a day!"
Donald nudged Goofy after he finally was able to suppress his laughter. "Hey Goofy, you think Sora is gay?"
"Didn't he have a crush on a girl named Kairi?"
"Does that mean he's bisexual?"
Donald and Goofy stared at each other for a while, then they turned back to the hilarious scene of Sora and Riku.
"RIKUUUU! Don't leave me again!"
"For the last time, I am right behind you!"
"I won't fall for that. Last time I thought I saw Kairi, but when I looked again she was gone! I won't let my wild fantasies get the better of me!"
Riku started to feel uncomfortable. "What wild fantasies?!"
"Fantasies like the one when Kairi said to me she wanted a threesome, she wanted us to share one ice cream, she wanted you and me to play the pocky game and she also suggested a crossdress contest. I heard Cloud is good at crossdressing, we should ask him for advice."
Riku looked awkwardly at Goofy and Donald. "For how long has he been like that?"
"Ever since we met him, he's been crying and sobbing because of his 'keyblade turned friend.'" Donald answered.
Riku looked expressionless at Donald and Goofy.
"RIKU LET'S BE TOGETHER FOREVER I WON'T LET YOU GO EVER AGAIN!"
"That's it I am out of here." Riku said and he walked away in annoyance.
2 hours later…
Sora finally stopped crying and stood up. "Riku, why haven't you talked since two hours ago?"
The keyblade was silent.
"Riku, are you mad at me?"
Sora turned panicking to Donald and Goofy. "Guys, I think Riku is sick! We have to go to a hospital!"
"Eh Sora, your friend Riku was here two hours ago, but you mistook him for your keyblade and ignored him." Donald answered.
Sora didn't say anything for a while. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?!"
"Why would you listen to us, if you didn't listen to Riku?"
Sora fell on his knees feeling completely defeated. RIIIKUUUUUU! I AM SO SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE! I WON'T MISTAKE YOU FOR A KEYBLADE ANYMORE! PLEASE COME BACK! WE'LL LOOK FOR KAIRI'S BODY TOGETHER! I DON'T WANT TO BECOME INSANE WITH THESE KAIRI HALLUCINATIONS!
Goofy rubbed the back of his head. "You think we should get him a shrink?"
"I've been wondering that since the moment we met him. Let's go back to Leon and the others."
So Donald and Goofy grabbed the sobbing Sora and took him back to the Inn.
Meanwhile with Riku
"You see, it's just as I told you." Maleficent said, while she stood next to Riku, watching Sora and the others. "While you toiled away trying to find your dear friend, he quite simply replaced you with some new companions. Evidently now he values them far more than he does you. You're better off without that wretched boy." She petted Riku on his shoulder. "Now, think no more of him, and come with me. I'll help you find what you're searching for…"
Riku glared at the witch. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! HE MISTOOK ME FOR A KEYBLADE! A FUCKING KEYBLADE! THAT DUMBASS THINKS I TRANSFORMED INTO A KEYBLADE! WHAT DOES HE THINK I AM, A DITTO?! NOW HE ALSO STARTED TO TALK LIKE HE'S GAY! DAMNIT I KNEW KAIRI AND I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT HIM TO A SHRINK! WHEN WE WERE STILL KIDS HE MISTOOK MY SHOE FOR HIS ALREADY DEAD BUNNY AND KEPT BUGGING ME TO PLAY WITH MY OWN SHOE!"
Riku kept on rambling and throwing tantrum. Maleficent only listened to him for the first few minutes, until she got tired. "Listen kid, you're acting as he's your lover or boyfriend. Just get over it already."
"He used to be a normal kid you know, but that was before the accident."
"We were still 7 at that time and Sora wanted to watch Higurashi no Naku Koro ni very badly. It was late and it was raining very hard. We were at my house, because my parents would be back till the next day. Then that idiot had to open the window, because he thought it would be scarier and then he got the control remote, he got hit by thunder! I couldn't tell his or my parent or else I'd be dead meat. Have you got any idea how many times I had to cover for his idiocy? Even I lost the count. I thought he finally turned to normal, but nooo he had to think I became a keyblade, what kind of idiot believes that shit?!"
Maleficent was stuck with listening to Riku's childhood story that kept on for hours. 'What did I do to deserve this?' She wondered.
After a while Riku finally calmed down. "… So are you finally done?" Maleficent asked.
"Yes and I feel much better now." Riku looked at the now empty room behind the window. "Oh, I guess they went to sleep."
Maleficent gritted her teeth. "Really, well that's too bad."
"You can't blame them, it's a bit late." Riku stretched his arms and yawned. "I guess I'll head off to bed too. See you tomorrow."
Maleficent started speechless as Riku went back to Hollow Bastion. "He went… and… he doesn't… OH FUCK IT!"
Me: Applause for me, because it's the first time I was able to write such a short story.
Me: Ow come on Riku, it wasn't that bad.
Sora: You made me act as if I'm bisexual.
Riku: … you made me be friends with an idiot.
Sora: That was not my fault!
Kairi: I thought it was funny.
Me: Thank you Kairi. See why can't you guys laugh about joked like this?
Sora & Riku: Because you insulted our pride!
Me: What's with boys and their pride? You two don't even have any.
Kairi: Tell me about it.
Sora & Riku: Hey!
Me: And goodbye! I hope you readers liked it and please leave a review.
Sora and Riku: Stop ignoring us!