Disclaimer: Victorious and all characters/settings in the Victorious universe belong to Dan Schneider.
Warning: Rated M for mature audiences. Adults themes and slight language.
It's a familiar routine by now. You'll make an offhand remark that you know will infuriate her, something simple such as casually remarking that there are other colors in the world besides black. Her eyes will spark blue with annoyance and she'll huff in exasperation. She'll announce that she's bored and clomp away in her laced up combat boots or she'll grab the collar of your shirt and threaten you with a raspy voice. Everyone will write it off because Jade is always mad and they'll assure you that she'll have forgotten about your infraction by the end of the day.
Decidedly, they are always wrong because Jade never forgets these things. Sometimes she's impatient and the two of you will miss class, other times she'll wait a week before taking her revenge. But inevitably the two of you will end up in a closet, or the back of her car, or maybe even her bedroom with her hand forcing its way into your pants or her hands pushing your head down to her center.
This is how you find yourself trapped between her and the wall, her arms becoming the bars of your cage. You don't even remember what you've said this time to make her react this way, but she sure as hell does. You know there's no way you can escape her, for all the physical fights most of which were foreplay you have never won, but you've long resigned yourself to this fate. Her lips crash into yours roughly and without finesse and her tongue is in your mouth before you can fully register the action.
As it always is with Jade you find yourself torn between two desires. There's a part of you that wants nothing more than to flee and rid yourself of this oppression, because she treats you like a pet, an inferior. Not only that, but she likes to mark you in places where it'll ache for days later, such as your breast or on the inside of your thigh. It's a brand of ownership and dominance. It's her way of asking, what the fuck are you going to do about it? You thought it was purely a physical thing, but for each one of her marks, her poison seeps through your skin into your veins and it carries her to your stained heart. No place remains untouched by her influence. And yet there's still another part of you that cannot bear for her to set you free, because your silly heart might just have Stockholm's syndrome.
Jade plays you brilliantly though, her kisses start rough and without pity until your lips are bleeding and sore, but as her tongue laps gently over the wounds she's inflicted your heart seizes in your chest and a moan tumbles out. The contrast between cruel and caring leaves you confused but wanting, always wanting, for more.
You're dazed and your mind is slightly foggy as her right hand gropes your breast. You nearly miss what she's hissing in your ear because her hand brushes over your nipple.
"You and I have made a compact which represents nothing but loss to you and gain to me", Jade's voice is deliciously soft and dangerous. While your mind is wrapping itself around her words, she wedges a leg between your thighs. You push yourself down on her thigh to gain more friction and a slight exhale escapes you as she continues, "I shall observe it so long as it pleases me to do so - and so shall you, until I cease to find it convenient."
It was obvious from the first time you'd gone down on her that Jade enjoyed talking during immensely. Not just dirty talking, sometimes you'd banter with her and a few times the two of you would exchange heated arguments before and during and after. Today it seems it's going to be banter and you don't mind. Maybe if you could think clearly you'd mind, but if you were thinking clearly none of this would've ever happened.
And perhaps you seem too distracted because Jade bites down hard on your collarbone without warning and you arch up towards her with a strangled yelp of surprise. You lash back at her instinctively and you've backhanded her without a second thought. Her expression, which had previously been cool and seductive, quickly turns livid as she snarls, the low sound rumbling through her chest.
"Don't. Hit. Me." Each word is pronounced harshly and separately, the command evident in her tone. If the two of you weren't in her bedroom alone and against the wall with her leg between the two of yours, you'd be scared. But it's all part of her game, she controls all the pieces while you're running around the board disoriented. It makes you angry enough to deliberately bring both your hands down on her ass with a resounding slap.
Her eyes flash an angry sharp green as she removes her hand from your chest and pulls you towards her by your shirt collar. She's growling out words into your face and you don't think you've ever been wetter as she forces out, "Stop fucking hitting me."
"Make me", you snap back, and her eyes darken stormily at your words and that shade of grey has always done insane things to your stomach. She seems to take your words literally as she pins both of your hands above your head with one arm. If it wasn't evident before that she's the stronger of the two of you, the fact that her one arm is able to suppress two of yours speaks volumes.
"You think you can do whatever the fuck you want?" She's seething now as her lips descend on yours again, her teeth nipping your bottom lip until you taste copper. You let out a loud moan as her free hand travels down your side to your hip which she grips violently. She's pulling you towards her while pushing against you which enables you to feel the whole length of her body rubbing along yours.
You're granted a brief glance of her frustrated expression before you hear a rip and cold air hits your upper body. A whine of protest passes from your lips as the remains of your shirt fall to the ground, but Jade isn't fazed at all as she continues kissing you brutally. Your hips are bucking against hers now as she palms one of your breasts harshly. Your legs encircle her waist and you start a rhythm against her.
It's not what she wants evidently and the pressure holding you against the wall lifts off unexpectedly. As you groan in disapproval your world spins and she's thrown you on her bed. You move to sit up, but she's already straddling you and lowering her head to take the tip of your breast into her mouth. She bites down on your nipple and you gasp in pain, but her tongue is already soothing it away with sweeping pleasure. You've been ready for awhile now and your hand flies down to the button of your jeans, but her hand clasps yours effectively stilling your movements.
"Tell me", Jade hisses against your breast and without much thought you know exactly what she wants you to say. The first few times she forced you to reaffirm that you wanted her to fuck you, and you thought it was just part of her plan, to get you begging. But as she got you begging and pleading other things, you realized she only asks you this in moments of vulnerability.
"I need you", you reply quickly, and then the button of your jeans is popped open, the zipper is yanked down unceremoniously and your hand is guiding hers into your panties. And just because you know it drives her crazy you moan her name, "Jade."
Looking into her eyes you know that's what she's been waiting for all along as she rubs along your folds. Her other hand is tugging down your pants which are suddenly far too tight and restricting. She withdraws her hand briefly to use her teeth to drag your underwear off your legs and you can't help but groan at the sight.
"Fuck, Tori", she laughs, but you're impatient and wet and just overall ready. You sit up and pull her by her shirt towards you, but she cleverly maneuvers it so that you're tugging her shirt off of her. You toss the garment to the ground and reach for her again, but she slides her mouth against your skin downwards till she's resting against your thigh.
"Tease", you accuse her in as steady a voice you can manage, however, this only causes her to laugh again. Only when the two of you are alone and like this does she ever slightly let down her angry facade and when she smiles at you, your heart cannot help but to beat faster. Somehow your fingers are dexterous enough to snap off her bra and as it falls to the ground you inhale, "God."
Her hum of content vibrates against your leg traveling to your center. As you let out a throaty moan, she sneers, "I should just leave you here wet and unsatisfied."
"No", you gasp out as she trails kisses closer and closer to where you want her to be. She's left you high and dry before, as if to prove that she's in control of this and you're just along for the ride. Your hands tangle in her hair guiding her, "Please, Jade."
"You hit me", she pushes your shoulder so that you fall flat on your back once again. Her emotions and actions are everywhere, first she's seductive, then she's angry, then amused and now she's a combination of sexy and furious. You should be used to the whirlwind known as Jade, but each time you don't know what to do but hold on for dear life. Jade nips your inner thigh again, "I seem to be boring you."
You reach out towards her head, but she slaps your hands away. She pulls your body towards the edge of the bed and kneels on the ground in between your spread legs. When you raise your head to look at her you catch a glint in her eye right before she leans in and flicks your clit with her tongue. Her arms hold down your thighs as you arch with a surprised moan. Thankfully she seems to think she's danced around enough and dives in sucking and stroking with her tongue. The noises she's eliciting from you are embarrassingly loud.
"Jade", you moan, unsure if you're capable of forming words longer than her name. The pace is fast, just as you both like it and her fingers are quickly added to the mix roughly shoving into you. She replaces her tongue with her thumb on your clit rubbing at a furious pace. Your hands are fisted in the sheets and your body lifting off the sheets every time she thrusts a bit too hard.
"You're such a whore, Vega", her voice is filled with derision and her venom seemingly comes from nowhere, "Spreading your legs for just anyone."
A white hot anger rises up in you, but as she increases her pace thrusting hard, there's really nothing to say. Half of you wants to sink into the feeling of her fingers inside you to feel closer to this girl who fucks you at least once each week, but the other half of you wants to flee again, to get away from this poisonous, vile, selfish demon that you have never fully understood.
Her mouth crashes against yours again and this time you fight her for dominance of the kiss as she continues pushing you towards the edge. Your inner wall muscles are clenching now tightly around her fingers and with a few hard thrusts you feel yourself falling and falling and yet finally getting what you wanted. Your vision blurs and you moan, your loudest yet, as you come undone. Each time you come it feels like you lose something, as if Jade is taking something you can never have back. Her fingers still as you ride out the waves of pleasure, then she withdraws them quickly and holds them in front of your face. One look at her face tells you what she wants and you take her fingers into your mouth sucking the stickiness off them. You've never liked tasting yourself, but Jade groans softly and it's suddenly worth it.
"That guy", Jade says suddenly as you caress her fingers with your tongue, "Who asked you on a date, what's his name?"
She's just given you an amazing orgasm so it takes you awhile to fully comprehend what's she's asking you. Jade takes this as a stubborn refusal to respond on your part and bites out, "Fine, don't tell me your golden boy's name."
Everything becomes more clear, her motivation for taking you back to her house, her angry snappy words and posture.
"Jesus Jade", you pull her fingers out of your mouth and gasp, "Let me catch my breathe first."
Her expression isn't nearly as stormy as before now, in fact she seems kind of pleased that she's the cause of your breathlessness.
"Well?" Jade demands after a satisfactory amount of time has passed.
"Karl", you sit up, surprised at how transparent she is today. Usually she'll dance around the topic, drop a few hints, and then after you've made her come she might in a moment of weakness reveal a little of what's eating her up. On more than one occasion she's mentioned how much she hates your innocent "act" and how she hates it when you go out of your way to be nice to other people. It seems that today she's, dare you think it, jealous?
"Sounds like a fat truck driver with a toupee", she snipes without missing a beat and your instinct was correct, she's jealous. Really you shouldn't be surprised, because this is how she'd always been Beck, but you are, because you never thought you would be put on an equivalent level with Beck emotionally despite the fact that they're long broken up.
"He's none of that, well maybe the toupee, I didn't get a close enough look at his hair to determine", you defend your date, marveling at how Jade's perfectly planed this out. Karl had come up to you all grins and shyness and asked you if you maybe wanted to see a movie with him. That was three days ago, and Jade waited until today, the day of your date, to confront you about it. The date's almost guaranteed to be a bust what with Jade physically and emotionally tearing you apart now.
"Fuck you", Jade sneers, "Just fuck you. In fact, fuck Karl too. Go marry him, go bear his children for all I care!"
"Do you not want me to go on a date with him?" Now you've given Jade a choice, she can either swallow her pride and admit that the idea of you and Karl on a date makes her jealous, or she can pretend that it's nothing and have to suffer through the thought that maybe someone else will be fucking you soon enough.
"I don't", she leans forward, so that she's kneeling in between your legs on the bed. Her voice is deceptively calm, but you can see the storm stirring beneath her skin that's threatening to let loose.
"And why not?"
Her brow furrows as she struggles with her answer, "Because he has appalling breath."
"Are you jealous?"
You think she's going to kill you, or most likely deny it, but instead she surprises you yet again, "Yes."
"Why?" There's a long pause now, indicating that maybe Jade doesn't know the answer, or maybe she doesn't want to know. "Are we dating or something, Jade?"
"No!" Her rejection is instant and if you hadn't been expecting it, perhaps it would've stung a little.
"Then how can you be jealous?" And she just looks at you with a pained expression that manages to earn her a twinge of sympathy from you. But you're fed up, she's dictated far too much of your life already and you want to win for once, "You don't own me, Jade."
"Don't I?" Now she's being spiteful, trying to get a rise out of you. Anger is always the emotion that she falls back on when she doesn't know how to react appropriately.
"No", your voice is firm as you sit up, your chest aching with something you can't quite place, "You don't. I'm not something you can own. I'm a person, Jade. A person. And if you're going to try and control me, well let's just say I refuse to be your plaything."
"Well you haven't had a problem with it thus far", she says, her voice thin and weak, and you're surprised at how quickly her armor is crumbling around her.
And damn, if you were seeking liberation before, it dissipates and your hand is covering hers now. You whisper, "You make me feel so trapped. I don't know if I'm staying because you're making me, or because I want to."
Jade looks into your eyes searching for something, but she leans in, cupping your face with a tenderness that she's never shown to you before, then her lips are warm against yours. It's the first time neither of you are rushing to hurt each other or to get into the others pants.
"Don't get attached", she whispers. You think she's talking about Karl.
"I don't even know the guy."
"No", she pauses. "Don't get attached to me."
"How could I possibly get attached someone who doesn't let me in? I've had you in so many places, so many times, but I feel like I hardly know you", you didn't even know there was a bitterness within you that felt this.
"Then it's for the better", she lets go of your face and redresses herself. She's dropped the subject then, you make a face at your torn top on the ground. Jade seems to sense your predicament and tosses you one of her blouses. You're about to leave, but something about seeing you actually about to go on that date with Karl makes Jade reconsider her previous words.
"I thought that if I didn't let you in, then you wouldn't have any way to hurt me", she can't even look you in the eyes at this admittance. "And yet, you're going to walk out of this door and you're gonna go on a date with Mr. Perfect Smile. Like leaving me behind isn't a struggle."
You've known Jade for quite awhile now and never has she been as open as she is now. It's only this that makes your hand linger on the doorknob.
"Do you hate me?" Her voice is quiet, as if truly unsure of your answer.
"No", you reply automatically.
"Why do you let me do this to you?"
"I don't know, I shouldn't", you turn around to face her fully now. "You constantly put me down with your vicious words, you've left bruises and cuts all over my body."
Jade doesn't shrink from you, instead she stands and approaches you as you continue listing reasons why you should want to end things.
"And then you confuse me, Jade, you make my head spin when you're gentle and caring. I almost think you might feel something for me, but then right as that thought crosses my mind, you go back to abuse and I feel so stupid for thinking it in the first place", you laugh as your knees go weak and you sink to the ground, your back to the door.
"And when I come, I look at your face and you always look at me like you hate me or even worse you're sneering at me", your limbs feel heavy as you unload everything you've felt. "I've had sex with people other than you before, Jade, and I don't think it should feel like you've taken something from me at the end."
"Who else has there been?"
You push your annoyance down, "Does it matter?"
"Well, if they do it so much better than I do, why don't you go fuck them?" And you figure she's insecure because she's lashing out at you again.
"I'm not with them right now, am I?" Your voice cracks embarrassingly, "I'm with you. Doesn't that say something?"
Suddenly the fight in her deflates and she sits herself down next to you and the two of you stare at her bedroom. There's a long pause before Jade's turning your head towards hers and again she kisses you so softly you feel like you're going to cry.
"I wanted you", she whispers, her eyes still trained on your lips, "And I thought if I could make you only mine and never let you have the chance to leave, that I could have you without getting emotions involved. Feelings just mess everything up."
What is the proper reaction to her words? You suddenly understand why Jade relies so heavily on anger, it's such a solid and sure emotion.
But she's still talking, not yet expecting a response, "But somewhere along the way I got attached to the bird in the cage. I don't feel anything unless I can feel you underneath me or against me. I was stupid to think that I could keep you behind bars, that I could take and take from you without the expectation of something in return."
Her lips are on yours again and she's pressing more insistently now, it's different now like she wants to leave an imprint of her on you. She murmurs against your mouth, "I need you too much now, and it can't be this way. I can't need something that I've kept here against her own will."
The paradox that is Jade is getting clearer now and it's frightening that there's so much more clarity now. As you realize more and more her motives for everything it begins to scare you. You whisper, "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I can't get attached", she hisses, and you understand that when she was telling you not to get attached, she was really telling herself. Your hand is bunched in her shirt, anchoring you down to earth, wishing that there was a simple answer or solution here.
"I'm setting you free, Vega", Jade pulls you up and pushes you out of her room, the fabric of her shirt slipping through your fingers, "Get out of here. Spread your fucking wings! Fly!"
Then her door is banged shut and you've finally gotten what you wanted, your freedom. It should feel exhilarating and you should feel like soaring away.
So you wonder why the hell it feels like abandonment.
A/N: Thanks for reading, much appreciated. This will be a two-shot and I'll be posting the second part in a few days (or perhaps a week).
Reviews are always appreciated, and constructive criticism is sought after.