Nate stared up at the ceiling of his new room. He couldn't sleep and he wasn't sure if it was because he was excited about being at the school, or if Dallon's snoring was keeping him up. Either way he couldn't sleep. His mind went over the events of that day; he thought of all the guys and wondered what sort of impression he had made.
The guys themselves were all pretty awesome dudes. He was obviously going to get along better with some of them better than others, but all in all they were cool people. He got along pretty well with Andrew since they both could relate to being lonerish because even though back in Arizona he had Sam, he was really the only real friend Nate had. The others were just sort of there and were only around him for social status. He had actually been quite popular even though he wasn't the richest or sportiest guy, his popularity was built solely off the fact that he had lived in Arizona so long and everyone knew him. Here however, he had just joined this huge school and been accepted into one of the cliques without knowing what social status they held. Not that that would change his mind about joining them.
Here Nate felt that he could relate better to all the people he had met since they were all so into music. The fact that there were no girls at the school helped too. He had always been a socially awkward penguin when it came to girls but somehow he still ended up with his fair share of dates. That's what confused him so much. Why anyone would want to go out with him. He understood why they would want to pretend to be his friend, but faking a relationship? That was a lot of effort put in when they could have gone after someone more popular if they wanted to climb the social ladder higher.
His internal rant was interrupted by Dallon falling off his bed, causing a muted thud and Nate slowly moved his head to make sure his roommate was okay. He somehow had managed to sleep through his fall and was now snugly sleeping on the floor curled into a ball. Nate snorted at the sight, causing Dallon to stir. Nate had to place his hand over his mouth to stifle his giggles and not wake the other. He lay there a little longer waiting for sleep to claim him.
Mikey scrambled out of bed and did his morning stretches, which consisted of him doing some karate kicks and punches at the air. After hearing his back pop he pulled apart the curtains and the sunlight assaulted his eyes. He stepped out of the way of the sunlight so that it could shine on his roommate instead. Brendon mumbled in his sleep,
"Five more minutes mommy…" he mumbled. Mikey rolled his eyes knowingly, he had been preparing in case he was roomed with Brendon. He moved over to the boy and pinched the other's nose closed so he wouldn't be able to breathe. Brendon struggled for a few moments, his legs and arms thrashing about, until he opened his eyes and glared at Mikey. "You'll thank me later, now get up you little shit." He joked while pulling the other up.
"Ew, mornings," came Brendon's meek reply.
Mikey opened his small closet to gather his uniform. Uniform wasn't all that strict; any plain coloured shirt; black dress pants; black school blazer; school tie; and dress shoes. Today he decided on a light-orange shirt to go with his blazer and green tie. He got undressed and dressed within three minutes, collected his toothbrush, toothpaste and comb and headed towards the bathroom.
Brendon followed shortly after and the two headed toward the S4 third floor bathroom.
Once they got there Brendon went to take a piss and Mikey started brushing his teeth, his internal stereo playing Irish Blood, English Heart by Morrissey (A/N: My personal favourite Morrissey song). He brushed along to the baseline of the song until the end since the song was a little over two and half minutes, the perfect amount of time needed for brushing teeth. He spat out his toothpaste, rinsed his mouth with water and spat that out too. He then proceeded to rinse his face with water and realized too late that he hadn't brought a towel. He ended up just using his sleeve to wipe his face and then combed back his blonde and brown locks.
"Mikes, what time is it?" He shrugged not knowing either and told Brendon he'd be heading back now to get his stuff. After Brendon had sent him a nod, Mikey walked back to their dorm at the end of the hallway, hands in his pockets. He arrived at the room and checked his schedule to see what his first lesson would be. Art: with Patrick. Technically he was supposed to call him Mr. Stump but Patrick was another one of those teachers the guys had befriended. After that he had business and economics with Josh. Him he had to call Josh because otherwise there would always be the confusion of whether he was referring to him or his brother Zac who also taught at the school.
Brendon stumbled into the room and adjusted his glasses. He then took a look at his schedule and groaned,
"My first lesson is Biology with the Butcher, Mikey!" He whined, forgetting that Mikey was yet to have his morning coffee. Mikey ignored his whines and responded, "Andy's fine, he just likes to push your buttons."
"Yeah, but only my buttons, no one else's!" Brendon complained while holding out his tie, he didn't know how to tie one. Mikey shrugged his shoulders and took ahold of the tie, "Maybe your one of his favourites and just has a weird way of showing it, honestly Brendon, you've been here what? Three years? And you still don't know how to tie a tie!?"
Brendon looked sheepishly at Mikey and retrieved his now tied brown tie. He placed it around his neck, tightened it and flipped down his collar. "Thanks Mikey." Mikey nodded in return and the two collected their books and headed down to the dining hall.
Gerard sat at their usual table stirring his coffee. He was all by his lonesome because for the first time in his life he had gotten up early. It was 6:04 and classes didn't start until 8:15 and the guys wouldn't be getting up until around seven. He sipped his coffee and looked out the window behind him. It was raining, surprise, surprise. The skies were grey to match his groggy mood and he swiveled around to put his legs up on the table. He drifted off and thought of revenge schemes he could carry out on those kids who had bullied Mikey back in Jersey.
He was brought back to reality when he felt a buzz in his pocket. He opened one eye and saw that the clock was now showing that it was 6:58. He pulled out his phone from his pocket to see who was calling.
Incoming call Mom
He rolled his eyes. He had been away for two days and already his mum was worrying. He loved her and all, she could possibly be the best mum in the world, but it did get a little annoying. He pressed the accept call button and put his phone to his ear.
"Hey mom what-" He was interrupted by small sniffling sounds on the other end of the line, "Mom, what's wrong?" There were a few moments of silence until Gerard started to hear weeping on the other end. "Mom!?"
"Gerard, your mother and I called to tell you something." He could tell it was something serious as his dad was speaking with such a formal tone.
"And could you tell Mikey too? He's forgotten his phone again and I- I don't want to have to repeat myself," Gerard nodded and realized they couldn't see him so instead he mumbled back a yes, "Last night, something happened, um, your grandmother she…"
Gerard knew what was coming next but wasn't prepared for it at all. His grandmother, Elena Lee Rush, who had been there supporting and pushing him to make the right decisions, who had accidently embarrassed him countless times while proving her love. She was gone.
He knew it was going to happen soon as her state was getting progressively worse over the years, but what he hadn't realized was that he never accepted it. He had lived in a fantasy where she would live forever to encourage him and help through everything. But that was impossible. He sat there emotionless, staring at the wall ahead of him.
"She's gone Gerard." He heard his mother say. That's when he broke. Tears filled his eyes, taunting him to spill. He looked at his phone and raised it high in the air before throwing it with great force onto the marble floor, splitting it in two. The bang echoed through the corridors and Gerard sat there with tears spilling down his face. He made no sound as he cried and sat in solitary.
"Jeez, my ears- Gerard?" Frank said while walking into the hall. Their table was at the very back of the room and he headed towards it. He saw the broken phone and started, "I never knew you were one to pull tantrums." He said while looking up at Gerard. He then saw that Gerard was crying. Something was wrong. Gerard never cried.
"Gerard what's wrong?" He asked worriedly while rushing over to his crush. He sat next to him and held his hand. "Gee…" He began wiping away the other's tears until Gerard jerked away from his touch, reclaiming his own hand. He looked at Frank with an emotion Frank had never seen on Gerard's face before. Grief.
"Just leave me alone Frank." He said, there was no emotion in his voice. Frank decided not to push it but took hold of Gerard's hand. Gerard looked at Frank's hand and then at his face, tears still steadily flowing. He sniffed a little and pulled back his hand. He shook his head violently and started down the hall. It took Frank a moment to register but once he did he was on his feet chasing, sprinting, after Gerard.
Gerard passed Mikey and Brendon and felt a slight pang of guilt as he saw the look of concern on his brother's face. He ignored it for the moment because right now, too much was going through his mind. He headed towards the South Wing and didn't mind nor take notice to all the people who had seen him crying. He still made no sound as he pushed through the crowds to get to his dorm.
Once he was there he opened the already unlocked door and faced Jared.
Jared looked at him with concern. Why was everyone so concerned?
Jared slowly moved out of the room and Gerard watched his very move until he was out. He locked the door after Jared, knowing he didn't have his key. He then moved to his desk where he had picture of him and Mikey as kids, one his whole family, and one of him and his grandma. He took the last one and looked at it. He caressed his grandmother's picture and stared at it. Suddenly he tossed with all his strength across the room where it hit the wall. Glass shattered everywhere and the picture tore a little.
He flipped his desk over wanting to destroy it as if it were the Death that had claimed his grandmother. He still made no sound. He walked over to the flipped desk and searched around for a little tube. He found it, his anti-depressants. He had stopped using them two years ago but secretly had kept a few bottles incase he would need them.
Unscrewing the lid he thought of the lullaby his grandmother always used to sing to him even as he grew older.
She would sing it to him in her beautiful, near perfect voice whenever he was upset, mad, or even just tired. And it never failed to soothe him.
Standing out there in the cold,
Stood a man alone and desperate,
"No stars will shine upon my sorry head tonight," He sang,
"No one mourning or grieving for me,
"No tears will be shed or cries will be heard,
"No friends or family by my side,
"No time for that you worthless brat,
"For I am just a man out here in the cold,
"Alone and desperate,
"And so I stand here and mourn myself,
"So long and goodnight,"
So long and goodnight
His parents never approved of the song because, although he didn't understand as a child, the man in the song was obviously about to commit suicide. As he grew older and learned the meaning of the song he grew to love it more. Not because of the idea of suicide, but because of the emotion in that song. Now he would never hear her sing that song ever again and it pained him. It caused him so much distress it pained him physically. And there was only one way to stop it.
He poured two pills into his hand but felt unsatisfied and poured in another two. He looked at them for a little while and raised them in the air. He quickly swallowed them after muttering,
"So long and goodnight."
A/N: Poor Gee… I know she doesn't die until later on in their lives. And now you have all witnessed my attempt at poetry, I swear that the line 'No stars will shine upon my sorry head' is from somewhere else. So if it is then it's not mine and neither is 'So long and goodnight' obviously. I feel like no one's reading… Please review because it will help to know people are reading and not just from the traffic stats.