In celebration to the new release of Pokémon Black 2 & White 2 versions, I went ahead to write a small story involving everyone's favorite Poison Gym Leader Roxie. Depending on how well received this is, perhaps I'll make a mini-series surrounding the many events that happen in the game.

I encourage all DOGARS elitists to read on, enjoy, and review. :)

Disclaimer: The writer does not own the series.

Also, screw farting problems.


D-A-M-N I-T A-L-L!

Virbank City was considered to be a forgotten place in the Unova region. It only got notoriously important once Roxie finally got the go to become an official Gym Leader of the eight Gym Leaders, replacing the piss-weak Striaton Trio Leaders, as she thought of them, anyway. Though the fact PokéStar Studio was open to the public quite early after the inauguration of the gym made the city even more notorious.

Roxie disliked the place. Gym Leaders would often be a one-show event. Trainers would come in and beat her, then it was bye-bye Virbank City, unless they wanted to become famous stars at the main attraction after her. Good thing she was part of a band! She could easily handle her two jobs judging how both were under the same dinky roof she liked.

She completely discouraged how her father wanted to be an actor after the studio opened, but Roxie managed to keep him at bay.

But this was all in the future.

The day that her gym opened to the public was not meant to have the greatest first battle.

"Heck yeah!" Roxie exclaimed to her three coworkers: Nicky the drummer, Billy Jo from GreenDay…the guitarist(!), and the DJ whose name she quite never got. "Today's the day the Virbank Gym officially opens to the public!"

"And what shall we do to commemorate the occasion?" Billy Jo asked.

"Rock hard till our ears bleed!" Nicky suggested.

And they were off playing their usual routine. Their loud music would often escape the underground room of the gym all the way outside. Many of the gyms in Unova had flashy buildings, but Roxie's Gym had a pretty small entrance stuck between two big buildings. Their location was the bane of trainers' knowledge.

Roxie didn't care, though. She was so focused with her gig that it was practically impossible for her to notice, especially hear and see (she liked closing her eyes to connect to her badass Venipede-styled bass guitar better), anything happening around her, unless the music slowly died out for some reason. She was, how you say, very attached to her POKÉMON theme (she could've sworn it was DOGARS, but she didn't like the way it sounded as it didn't make much sense to her). If somebody dared to stop them from rocking hard, Roxie would snap. Her temper was dangerous, and her coworkers knew that. They had a hunch she wasn't going to get angry. After all, they needed to make a good impression!

Otherwise, trainers would leave them for last, and Roxie hadn't quite built a strong team yet, but her friends did point out that her Venipede had evolved ahead of time…somehow. Roxie shrugged this claim off and just went with it. It would be a nasty surprise for the first trainer to learn that she liked her poison + Venoshock combination. It wasn't as nasty as Lenora's, but Roxie never liked to get tips from other Gym Leaders. She was a tough poison cookie.

…The music was dying out?

Roxie's sixth sense told her that Nicky had stopped playing the drums. However, Roxie didn't like Nicky much. His often, boring-sounding "Pokémon" part sounded so…bad. She didn't want to break his feelings, so Roxie cheered herself up just having Billy Jo playing the guitar.

…Oh no, the music was dying out.

With Billy Jo suddenly stopping after a few minutes, Roxie couldn't take it anymore. Hell no, not Billy Jo! She thought. The Poison-type Gym Leader wasn't ready to go solo yet. Furthermore, it was their very first day playing their favorite music that they needed to play it till they couldn't anymore.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps coming closer to her. Roxie never heard the footsteps walking around her the entire time, but she could hear them quite clearly. She had a quite nasty plot in mind. "(Alright, whoever is stopping Nicky and Billy Jo from playing, they're getting a nice surprise from me!)" she thought deviously as she kept playing her unfortunate solo part. Her plan merely involved snapping at the person who had stopped her band members from playing.

…But then, all of a sudden, the footsteps made their way to the front floor of the stage and left the building entirely. Roxie thought the person was just going to the bathroom, but then it took her ten minutes of an insufferable solo part to notice the person didn't want to talk to her.

Truth to be told, Hilbert needed to heal his Pokémon at the Pokémon Center fast. He wanted to be the first one to challenge the Gym Leader, but he decided to "start from zero" and bring four Pokémon into battle: a fiery Tepig, a playful Sewaddle, a common Patrat, and a Riolu full of potential he had caught in Floccesy Ranch. Once he returned to the gym, Hilbert found Roxie still playing. Her other members were waiting for him to challenge her, giving him smiles of approval. Nodding, Hilbert climbed back on-stage and approached Roxie…not knowing he had done a foolish thing.

Roxie's temper pulled the last straw of her patience. Swiftly, she opened her maddening eyes and slammed the heavy part of her bass right onto Hilbert's head, knocking him out from the stage into the cold (messy) floor below. "How do you like that?!" she asked.

Her band members, and the DJ across the floor, looked horrified at the sight. "R-Roxie…" Nicky gulped. "…You just…kinda killed your first challenger…"

"And he's bleedin'…hard," Billy Jo added, keeping her distance from her young boss.

"...Wait, what?" Roxie asked. The blood pouring out from Hilbert's cap made her realize what she had done. "…CRAAAAAAAAAAAP!" she finally said.

After Hilbert was taken to emergencies to Castelia City, he returned back to challenge Roxie, but he wasn't as chipper when he tried to talk to her. He decided to cream her team with a Reuniclus to claim her badge and get the hell out of there. Roxie felt she deserved her very humiliating beating. Hilbert then came to terms with himself to stay away from southwest Unova for some time and come back to see how his friend Cheren was doing for his test to become a Gym Leader in Aspertia City. This was another story, though.

As for Roxie, she learned from her experience and went on to become a more respectable Gym Leader in the ensuing years.

Sadly, after not having a new challenger for a long time, once a new challenger named Hugh interrupted her band's gig ready to unleash his unneeded rage on her, she responded with the same blow but only managed to knock him out unconscious without external bleeding. Her band thought it was a big improvement.

"CRAAAAAAAAAP!" Roxie complained to her dinky roof. Her biggest foe now was a possible lawsuit.