AN: SUP MY PEEPS! It's been toooooooooo long. Any-whos-its... thanks for all the reviews/faves/follows. Keep it up ;) Like always, school is... ugh... but I'm going to try to update at least once a month. For those reading The Chosen Son, that'll be updated soon too. I hope you like!
It was nearing 1 o'clock in the afternoon. Fury hadn't heard a noise from the thirteenth floor (the floor of Avenger's Tower he had converted into his teenage team's bedrooms). He was starting to get concerned. Did they finally snap and kill each other? Nick wasn't sure if the thought made him happy or sad. Eventually, curiosity got the better of him. Fury boarded the elevator.
"Where to, sir?" JARVIS asked, ever so polite; much unlike his creator.
"Ah, good luck."
Fury smirked. Even the A.I. knew Stark and the others could be a handful. Especially now that they were a bunch of pubescent kids with raging hormones and teen angst.
The elevator dinged and the sleek silver doors slid open. Fury stepped out. The hall was quiet and empty. Well, except for a red box sitting about half way down with a bunch of cards scattered about. Fury walked over and picked one up.
"Badgers. What the hell?" Fury tossed the card back to the floor.
The door directly across from him was slightly ajar. A loud grunting snore emanated from inside the room. Fury sighed. "Seriously, they're still asleep?" He nudged the door open with his boot and walked inside.
The room was Clint's. The archer was sprawled across his bed, laying the wrong way with his head at the bed's foot. The blanket was tangled around his legs and the pillow cast away on the floor. Clint was snoring, a little pool of drool collecting underneath his cheek.
Fury shook his head. "And this guy's one of my best agents." Fury crossed the room, placed his fingers between his teeth and whistled loudly.
"Argh!" Clint woke with a jolt, tried to sit up, and tumbled from the bed due to the web of sheets around his legs. "What the eff?"
"Barton!" Fury barked. "Off the floor."
Clint pulled himself from the floor, rubbing his head where it had smacked the bed frame on the way down. "Dude, what the hell was that for?"
"Watch the language, Barton. And it's one in the afternoon. Are you and the rest of my team of supposed super heroes going to sleep all day?"
Clint scratched his head, making his bed head worse, and yawned. "We were up till like four AM. And what do you care what language I use?"
"Because you're a child. Four AM? What in all of hell were you doing?"
"Apples to Apples. Kill, kiss, or..." At that moment Clint realized that last night he had chosen to kiss the director. "Just Apples to Apples."
"What is that?"
Clint shrugged, trying not to look at Fury. "Card game."
Fury rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Wake up the rest of the team and Loki. Get dressed and eat something. I want you all to meet me in the debriefing room on the fifth floor in an hour."
Without another word, Fury turned on his heel, his long black trench coat swishing around behind him, and walked out of Clint's room and back to the elevator.
Clint gracefully scratched his rear end and yawned. "Wonder what he wants now?"
Walking over to his dresser, Clint pulled out a t-shirt and jammed it over his head. He then pulled on a pair of jeans over his Angry Birds boxers. He ran his fingers through his hair and walked across the hall to where Natasha slept.
Clint couldn't help himself. He smiled when he pushed Natasha's door open and saw her sleeping. Her mouth was slightly open and her red hair was spread across her face. She looked so peaceful Clint almost laughed. She was probably the most dangerous person in the world. He noticed she was wearing a tiny little tank top and short shorts for pajamas. He had to force himself to look at her face. If she woke up and saw him checking her out he'd have a black eye and broken nose.
Shaking her on the shoulder, Clint said, "Hey, Nat. Time to get up."
Natasha's eyes fluttered open. She blinked sleepily a few times before focusing on Clint. "Clint," she yawned. He noticed she was smiling. "What time is it?"
"One I guess. Fury came and woke me up. He wants us in the debriefing room in an hour."
"What'd we do this time?"
"All right. I'll get up. You waking the others?"
Clint nodded. "See you later."
Next, Clint woke up his sister. Girls took the longest to get ready. Waverly wasn't pleased. She actually smacked him in the face as she attempted to roll over and ignore her wake up call. Clint ended up picking up his sister and dangling her upside down off her bed. Her fists beat against his legs to no avail.
"Ugh! Fine! I'm up. Now put me down."
Clint tossed her back on to her bed. "Go get your boyfriend up."
Waverly stuck her tongue out at him and began searching for clothes.
Clint stuck his tongue out in return then left to wake Tony. He figured he'd have some fun with Stark since the teenage billionaire was always poking fun at the rest of them.
Sneaking quietly into Tony's room, Clint stuck his finger into his mouth. He made sure it was good and wet with saliva before creeping close to Tony. As he made to insert his finger into Tony's ear canal for the wettest of Wet Willies, JARVIS, ever faithful to his creator, sounded the alarm.
"Young sir Stark, young mister Barton is about to inflict a Wet Willie upon your left ear."
Tony jerked awake, slapping Clint's outstretched spit drenched finger away.
"Awww JARVIS! Come on man, you know that woulda been funny!" Clint complained. He dried his finger on his pants.
"He saved you," Tony said, scowling. "If that finger had gone into my ear, I would have snapped it off your hand. How'd you fire arrows then, archer boy?"
Clint rolled his eyes. "Your insults suck this morning."
Tony yawned and scratched himself in much the same area as Clint had earlier. "I'm tired. I can't be a genius all the time." Another yawn. "What do you want anyway?"
"Fury wants us down in the debriefing room in an hour."
Tony heaved an exaggerated sigh. "What now?"
"No idea. Wanna have some fun waking Rogers?"
A sly smile crawled across Tony's face. "What'd you have in mind?"
After Tony got dressed, he followed Clint into Steve's room. The teenage super soldier was tucked deep under his covers, only the top of his blond head sticking out. Ever so carefully, Clint climbed up to perch on the end of the bed. Meanwhile, Tony tiptoed up to the head of the bed and leaned in close so his mouth was inches away from where Steve's ear was under the blanket.
Clint held up his up three fingers. He counted down. When the last finger dropped, Clint launched himself into the air. Steve mumbled and started to sit up. At the same time, Tony began crowing like a rooster as loud as possible. Steve yelled and threw the blankets off. Clint landed on top of him and the two tumbled to the floor in a heap.
"Attack rooster!" Clint yelled, grabbing Steve in a headlock and giving him a noogie.
Tony jumped in, giving Steve a noogie too.
"What in heaven's name was that for?" Steve yelled. He pushed Clint and Tony off him.
"Wake up call," Clint said.
"You could have just said get up!"
"This was more fun." Tony smiled.
"I hate you."
"Love you too, buddy."
"Get dressed," Clint said. "Fury wants us in the debriefing room in an hour."
"Let's go wake up Banner."
As the teenage assassin and billionaire walked out of the room, Steve called after them. "Unless you want a teenage Hulk to lodge your heads in the wall, I'd wake Bruce nicely."
Tony shut the door on Steve to allow the kid soldier to dress in private. He turned to Clint. "He's right."
Clint nodded. Instead of storming into Banner's room causing a ruckus, Clint simply knocked on the door. "Bruce-y, wake-y wake-y, eggs and bake-y!"
An exasperated groan sounded from within the depths of the room. Cautiously, Tony opened the door and poked his head in. "Dude, Fury wants us in the debriefing room in an hour."
Bruce groaned again and sat up in bed. His brown hair was ruffled and his glasses hung crooked from one ear. "All right, I'm up! Now get out. Your face is the last thing I want to see first thing in the morning."
Tony made a face at Bruce but obliged and shut the door.
"Jeeze," Clint said. "He's grumpy in the morning."
"Good thing we listened to Rogers." Tony agreed. "My face is still recovering from all the times Natasha hit me last night."
Clint smirked. "Well, you did deserve it."
"Oh shut up. Just cuz you want in her pants."
Clint's face flushed as red as Natasha's hair. "I do not!"
"Whatever you say!" Tony teased. He left Clint and walked off towards the elevator.
Meanwhile, Waverly had dressed and walked down the hall to Loki's room. She knocked twice before entering anyway. The lights were on and Loki was sitting cross-legged on his bed with his back against the headboard. An open book was in his lap. He was already dressed and cleaned up.
Waverly paused in the doorway. "You're up?"
"Been up for hours," Loki said, not taking his eyes off the book. He flipped a page, his emerald eyes scanning the page for a moment before looking up at Waverly. "With how loud your brother and his buffoon friends are, the only time I can get any reading done is when they're asleep."
Waverly perched on the end of Loki's bed. "Clint said Fury wants us in –"
Loki held his hand up. "Debriefing room. One hour," he interrupted, not unkindly.
Waverly nodded. "Should we go wake up Thor?"
Loki rolled his eyes. "Waking Thor is like trying to wake a sleeping bildschneip."
"I still don't know what that is."
"It's a large, foul, smelly creature." Loki explained. "Horribly dim witted. Quick to engage in battle… Oh, wait. I've been describing Thor." Loki smiled slyly.
"Loki!" Waverly slapped Loki on the arm but smiled all the same.
"You know it's true."
Waverly rolled her eyes. "Come on." She took Loki by the hand and led him out of the room.
Thor slept across the hall. Loki begrudgingly knocked on the door. "Thor, brother, you must awaken."
Grunting snores answered him.
Loki sighed and knocked louder. "Thor!"
Thor mumbled some sort of answer. A second later Thor resumed snoring.
Loki gave Waverly a look that said 'I told you so.' Waverly rolled her eyes again and pushed the door open.
"Thor! Fury wants us in the debriefing room in an hour. Get up!"
Thor rolled over and sat up, rubbing his eyes. The blankets slid down his chest to rest in his lap. Like his brother, Thor slept shirtless. Once he realized Waverly was in his room, his face turned scarlet and he dove back under his covers.
"My lady, it is not appropriate for you to see me in my sleeping clothes!"
Waverly laughed and Loki groaned. "Good heavens, Thor. Relax."
Thro frowned. "Just because you lack modesty doesn't mean I have to."
Loki shook his head. He turned to Waverly. "We've awoken him. May we leave now?"
"You two are worse than girls." Waverly turned on her heel and walked out of the room. Loki followed.
Thor grumbled about Midgardian customs but got up and began getting dressed.
An hour later, Waverly, Loki, and the Avengers were all seated around the oval table in the fifth floor debriefing room. Fury was at the head of the table pacing back and forth impatiently. The room was quiet. Agent Hill stood sentry by the door. Finally, Clint could take the silence no longer.
"What are we here for?" He asked.
A rare smile crept up Fury's face. "I believe a solution to our problem has been found."
The teenage superheroes and their arch nemesis exchanged glances.
Fury elaborated. "The scientists in the lab have finally formulated a serum they believe will reverse whatever Loki's magic did. Two agents will be here in a moment to inject you all with the serum."
Waverly rubbed her arms nervously. "Is it safe?"
Fury cleverly avoided the question. "I've had my two top scientists working tirelessly on the project."
"Yeah, but is it safe?" Steve repeated the question. He remembered the pain of going through the transformation from scrawny nobody to super soldier.
At that moment, the door opened. Two SHIELD agents, one of which was holding a large syringe filled with a clear liquid. One of the agents was short and slim, her brown hair held back in a loose ponytail. The other agent was slightly taller with curly red hair. They were both wearing white lab coats.
"Team… and Loki," Fury began, "This is Agent Jemma Simmons," Fury indicated the woman, "And Agent Leo Fitz," Fury pointed to the red haired man. Both agents nodded in greeting. "They've formulated the serum that will change you back."
Agent Simmons nodded again. She launched into a discussion about different molecular components of the serum and how they would react inside the body. The only two who seemed to understand were Tony and Bruce. Once she was finished, Agent Fitz attached a needle to the end of the syringe and cleaned it with an alcohol swab.
"All right," he said in a Scottish accent. "Who's first?"
Bruce stood, rolled up his sleeve, and approached Fitz. The agent poised the needle above the bend in Banner's elbow, then pierced the skin and pushed the plunger. Clear liquid seeped into Bruce's bloodstream.
Bruce winced slightly as the needle was withdrawn. "Not so bad," he said, to reassure the others. As Bruce rolled his sleeve back down, Fitz attached a new needle tip from the case in Simmons' hands.
"It'll take a few minutes for the serum to take effect," Fitz said. "Who's next?"
Tony stood and mimicked Bruce.
One by one, the rest of the team received their injections. Loki was last. Once everyone had been pricked, Fitz placed the syringe in the case.
"We'll wait until the effects are complete," Simmons said. "Just to be sure there are no ill effects.
Waverly bit her lip nervously. "Like what?"
Simmons and Fitz both smiled. "Oh nothing's likely to happen."
Fitz nodded. "The rats we tested the serum on are all fine."
Bruce suddenly stood. "Um, I feel… weird." Everyone turned to look at Bruce. He didn't just feel weird, he looked weird. It looked as if the skin cells on his face were deciding to rearrange themselves.
A second later, Tony said the same thing. His skin seemed to be sliding across the bones of his skull.
Fitz and Simmons exchanged concerned glances.
Soon, the whole team and Loki began exhibiting similar symptoms.
"What's happening?" Fury asked.
Fitz and Simmons were at a loss.
"Uh oh." Bruce dropped back down into his seat and covered his face with his hands. Tony shortly followed, then the remaining Avengers and Loki.
Bruce was the first to recover. He sat up and slid his hands from his face. "Oh my god, that felt weird."
Fitz and Simmons' jaws dropped. Fury's one eye widened so much it looked as if it was going to pop from its orbit. Even Hill couldn't hide a look of surprise.
"What?" Bruce looked back and forth between the scientists and the director. "What happened?" Bruce looked down at himself and let out a high pitched scream. He held his hands in front of his face and looked at them with a mixture of astonishment and horror. His hands were slim with long curved finger nails at the ends.
By now the others had recovered as well.
"Dude," Tony said. "You're… you're a…a girl."
Bruce's normally slightly disheveled hair was now a thick curtain around his shoulders. Behind his glasses, two rows of thick eyelashes framed his… or rather her eyes. Skinny as ever, Bruce now had the curves of a sixteen year old girl.
Wide eyed, Bruce looked at Tony. "So are you!"
Tony looked down at his chest. On either side of his miniature arc reactor were… "Oh my god! I have boobs!"
Instead of peach fuzz, Tony had sleek black hair that fell to his/her shoulders with angled bangs framing his/her face.
Tony gaped around at the rest of the room.
The others hadn't fared much better.
Clint had choppy brown hair with blonde highlights. His normally square jaw was now rounded and feminine and his V-neck tee-shirt revealed a hint of cleavage. Beside him, Steve was neither a scrawny teenage boy, nor a muscle-y super soldier. He was a tall, thin teenage girl with appropriate curves, a long blonde ponytail, and a trace of freckles across his nose. Across from Steve, Thor was a girl with long, wavy blonde hair. Loki sat next to him, thin and curvy with a thick black braid down his back.
The girls were no less affected. Natasha was now tall and muscular. Her close cropped red hair was even shorter and the tight tank top she/he wore now looked ridiculous. Waverly looked much like her brother; short but stocky with a head of shaggy brown hair and a strong jaw.
"Oh my god," Jemma gasped, a hand covering her mouth. The case of needles lay dropped at her feet.
Fitz just stood shaking his head.
Fury finally recovered enough to ask, "What in the hell happened?"
Fitz and Simmons put their heads together and furiously whispered back and forth for a few minutes. When they pulled apart, Fitz spoke.
"It uh, it seems we made a slightly miscalculation."
"Slight?" Loki repeated. "Slight?! I am a woman!"
"Chill out Reindeer games. You were pretty much a woman anyway," Tony said. "The more concerning thing… I AM A WOMAN!"
"I'm a man!" Waverly said in horror.
The team, Loki, and Waverly descended into angry shouts.
Fury whistled to regain control. "Miscalculation?"
Simmons bit her lip. "My guess is that the serum had an unexpected reaction when mixed with their hormones. Children and teenagers have vastly different hormone concentrations in their bodies. The serum Fitz and I created was intended for use in a six year old. Neither of us thought it would have such… adverse side effects in an adolescent."
Fury rubbed his temples. "Get back to the lab and find a way to fix this. Now." His rage was barely contained.
Turning on their heels, Fitz and Simmons hurried from the room, promising that they would find a cure for the gender switched Avengers and their arch nemesis.
AN: WOOOOOO! Gender swapped Avengers! What sort of shenanigans do you want to see them get up to?