Rules of Shipping

A/N: Not gonna lie, this was kind of inspired by a friend's reaction to "The Break-Up". Please note that these are not *my* views and they are in no way official. I'm just channeling a character in a way I see fit.

Summary: "When one is a shipper, there are certain rules that must be adhered to."

Disclaimer: I humbly acknowledge that I don't own Glee.


The Rules of Shipping

By: Trent Warbler

When one is a shipper, there are certain rules that must be adhered to. These rules must not be broken in any way shape or form. As a Warbler, I know that there must be a sense of order to everything, so I have decided to take it upon myself to inform my fellow shippers of the rules of shipping.

1) Ships must be realistic.

Otherwise known as "there has to be a strong possibility that this ship could actually be real". Like, I know that people enjoy shipping other people, but if you're shipping a gay guy and a gay girl, what do you think is going to happen? Oh yeah, nothing.

2) When shipping real people, they must not know about it. Ever.

Seriously, do you know how hard all the Warblers shipped Klaine? It was like a shipper's paradise when they finally got their acts together and started dating. But did they ever know that we shipped them? Nope. If you know people are shipping you, it almost becomes an expectation that you'll start dating at some point. So if something goes wrong…the results can be devastating. So it's best to just keep the ships a secret. Nick and Jeff still don't know that I'm shipping them. Go Niff!

3) Shippers must stay true to their ships.

In the event of a catastrophic incident that threatens a ship, it's not cool to go from shipping so hard you want it to be endgame to anti-shipping. Like, have some hope for the ship people. Especially if the ship is already an item. In general, a couple that has attracted shippers has the ability to work through these incidents. And being a fair-weather shipper is just…well *I* don't consider it to be real shipping.

4) Never give up on your ships.

That kind of goes with the last one, but hey. I'm a big believer in loyalty. It probably comes from the "once a Warbler, always a Warbler" motto that we have.

5) Ship hard.

Shipping is not a task to be taken lightly. There are plenty of people who call themselves shippers but they don't actually do anything about it. Sure they'll like a ship, but they won't push it or support it whole heartedly. Hardcore shipping is where it's at. I don't go for those not-really-shippers.

6) Don't ship for the sake of it.

That's kind of like well if everyone else is jumping off a bridge, would you go too? Don't ship something just because everyone else is shipping it. You have to believe in your ships. If you don't believe in it, then you can't really ship it. See Rule #5 if you need further explanation.

7) You can never have too many ships.

It's true. Feel free to have however many ships your heart desires. Just remember that the more ships you have, the more shipping you'll have to do. Again, I refer you to Rule #5.

8) Love your ships.

This has got to be the most important rule. If you don't love your ship, then why are you shipping it? Too many times I've seen people fall out of love with their ships but they still ship them. And then they complain that it's hard and they don't want to do it anymore. So stop! Also if canon ships aren't your thing, that's okay. Non-canon pairings are cool too (as long as they're somewhat realistic…). But seriously, the worst thing you can do is to ship something you just don't believe in anymore.

And there you have it. These are the rules of shipping as determined by me, Trent Warbler. I feel I should note that these rules are sort of like the Code in Pirates of the Caribbean and should probably be taken as guidelines rather than actual rules. And who knows? Maybe somebody else has written their own set of rules for being a shipper. But these are mine and I will stick to them.

Signed,

Trent Warbler

Dalton Academy

Westerville, Ohio


A/N: Well that was fun. I'm gonna go back to my other stories now.