Disclaimer: Rowling, not me, yada, yada, yada.

Dedication: This is for the Gred to my Forge, my twin sister and beta reader, who after hearing I was now writing Harry Potter fics demanded I write one with the Weasleys in it. Because she loves them all! (except for Percy)

This is a collection of Weasley stories. You don't need to read one chapter to understand the next.

* * * * *

A quiet town, nestled in the hills, slept under a cover of darkness. Not one person was awake, but in the tiny house a bit removed from the town it was never quiet. A baby cried, two twin boys were tormenting their brother and, oh yes, a ghoul was howling in the attic. Molly Weasley sighed as she made breakfast. A new day had risen over the Burrow.

Molly was quite used to the ruckus that her hoards of children made. To her, this was quiet. At least there hadn't been an explosion yet. Perhaps she had spoken too soon, not long after a loud BANG was heard from overhead. Molly shook her head and turned to her one and only daughter.

"What are we going to do with those boys, Ginny?" she asked as she handed the toddler a bottle of milk.

Ginny giggled happily. "Bang!" she yelled proudly. "Bang!"

Molly smiled down at the little girl. The two-year-old had only just mastered that word. Molly was only surprised she hadn't said it sooner. It had been Ron's first word. Ron, her youngest boy, was now three. He sat opposite Ginny at the table and grinned at her. He had cereal in his flaming, red hair and seemed pleased about it.

Ron was getting so big, it turned Molly's heart into knots. On one hand, she was glad to see him growing up into such a good boy. But on the other hand, she wanted to keep him young forever. Why did they grow up so fast? Her two eldest boys, Bill and Charlie had already gone off to Hogwarts to school. It was Charlie's first year; she had just taken him to the train yesterday. Although Bill promised to look out for his little brother, it still broke Molly's heart to see him go.

The rest of her family tried to cheer her up. "One down, five to go," her husband had cheered.

"Look at it this way Mum, it's one less mouth to feed," her son Percy had reasoned. But none of that made her feel any better. Her babies were growing up! They were leaving her! What would she do once they were all gone?

A sudden thunder from the staircase shook Molly out of her reverie. It was like elephants hopping down the stairs. The entire Burrow shook underfoot. "'Red! 'Orge!" Shrieked Ron smartly. It was, of course, his two older brothers on their way to breakfast. They had apparently tired of throwing things at Percy.

Two stubbly, little boys of six appeared in the doorframe, each a mirror image of the other. They smiled innocently at their mother in unison. "Morning Mum." They sat down on either side of Ron.

Molly gave them a wary look. "I don't want any trouble," she warned. Fred and George tried to look as though they didn't know what she was talking about. Over the summer they had taken to prodding Ron to do something "interesting." They had recently heard that young Harry Potter was able to vanquish powerful wizards and since Ron was Harry's age he certainly should be able to do so as well. They had been disappointed and now had given up. All Ron did was eat, sleep and make funny noises. The boys were convinced that they got the short end of the little brother stick.

"So what do you boys have planned for today?" Molly asked. She wanted to ready the emergency medical equipment if necessary.

"Oh nothing," sighed George.

"Yeah. Nothing," echoed Fred. "We thought we might read some books. Maybe catch frogs in the frog pond." He smiled at his Mum sweetly trying his best to convince her that he could do no wrong. It was too late for that, she already knew what the terrible two were capable of.

Truth be told, Fred and George had a most exciting day planned. Since Bill had left for Hogwarts they had been pumping him for all the information he had about it. They wanted to be prepared for that glorious day when they went. Bill pretty much told them nothing. But recently he had become so annoyed with the twins that he finally gave them his copy of Hogwarts, A History so they would leave him alone. Fred and George had spent hours looking over it. Most of the words were too big for them and they had to get Charlie to tell them what they meant. He pretended to be bothered but ever since he had gotten his letter, he had become more and more interested.

After much debate about the merits of each house, the twins had decided they wanted to be in Gryffindor. It was, after all, the house that Bill was in and he was really cool. The only problem was that to be in Gryffindor you had to be brave so today the twins were going to spend the day proving that they were courageous. They just didn't know how they were going to do it yet. Fred had his heart set on slaying a dragon but it turns out that they don't live in England anymore. Fred sighed into his porridge. There had to be some evil they could stop, some monster they could kill, some good deed they could do.

Percy waltzed into the kitchen and glared at the twins. Molly was surprised to see him. He didn't come down from his room often because he was trying to study all he could before he went to Hogwarts. Fred and George had never heard of something so stupid. They kept stealing his books and hiding his quills so he got no work done. Sure it was a lot of trouble when their mother found out, but the color Percy's face turned made it worth it.

"What's for breakfast Mum?" Percy asked with his nose in the air.

Fred elbowed George, who threw cereal at Fred. Ron shrieked. Ginny cried. Percy yelled louder when his mother didn't answer him. Molly sighed. She would wish that Arthur was there to control them, but he never did anyway. "All of you be quiet," Molly shouted. All her children looked up at her wondering what they had done wrong. This was normal breakfast behavior for them. "Now just eat. No funny business."

George looked at Fred and rolled his eyes. What were the chances of that? Percy glared at them. "Mum said to be quiet," he hissed.

Fred looked at George and rolled his eyes. What were the chances of Percy not being a tattletale? He really was quite annoying. The Burrow would be much more fun without Percy around, Fred thought. He could tell George was thinking the same thing. They grinned evilly at each other. Maybe there was a monster they could kill.


"LET ME OUT!" Percy cried from inside his room. He had been yelling for help ever since his two twin brothers had locked him in over an hour ago. His plight was in vain however because Fred and George were giggling outside the door so loud that no one could hear him. Of course Percy should've just been glad that the twins' original plan hadn't worked and all they were left with was the idea to lock their brother away. They had read it in some Muggle book. It was times like these they wished they had a tower on the Burrow, but their father said it wasn't practical.

"What now?" George gasped. Fred frowned. He didn't feel at all heroic yet. Percy hadn't even nearly killed them or anything.

"Dunno," he sighed. "Maybe Dad has some dangerous Muggle thing that we should save humanity from." George shrugged. That made perfect sense but only to the two of them.

The pair made their way down the twisted stairway each thinking of the great quest that lay ahead of them. Percy's yells got quieter and quieter until they were finally in front of the garage where Arthur Weasley kept all his Muggle stuff. The boys weren't technically supposed to go inside the garage but they did it all the time and their father never scolded them.

They searched all over for something deadly, horrible or at least bad. But all they found was average stuff except it didn't do anything! There were pictures that didn't move! Brooms that didn't fly! It was all so boring. Fred found himself staring at a mirror, and all it did was stare back! He was ready to go back into the house and pout when George called out to him.

"Fred! Over here!"

"What did ya find?" Fred asked excitedly. He rushed over the George's side to find his twin glaring at a bowl full of something he had never seen before.

Fred poked the bowl's contents with his finger gingerly. To his great disappointment, nothing happened. "What are they?" He asked incredulously.

"Plugs," George hissed with an air of reverence.

"Ooooh," Fred took a closer look. They still didn't do anything. "So what?"

George shrugged. "They have to be important if Dad collects them right?"

Fred started down at the funny shaped things. "I guess so..." It was then that he realized they must just be sleeping. Of course they did something and if the twins wanted to catch the show, they would have to be patient. He pulled up a seat on the garage floor. "We'll wait."

George and Fred sat and waited for what seemed like hours. They stared unflinchingly at the mysterious plugs to no avail. They did nothing. George shook off blurry vision that was caused by the perpetual staring. For a moment there he thought there had been four Weasley twins! He glanced over at Fred and realized that he wasn't doing too much better. Fred was curled up in the fetal position, fast asleep. George shook him gently. When that didn't work he shook him with the fury of a hurricane. Fred woke with a jerk.

"What? Down with the plugs!" He cried out. George fell over laughing. Fred regained his bearings and glared down at George. "What is so funny?" George just laughed.

Maybe the plugs had been a bust but the trip to the garage had certainly been worth it. Fred's face was priceless.


"Find anything yet?" George demanded. After a short lunch break, the two boys were right back on the trail of evil. George was flipping through one of Percy's numerous books with reckless abandon. They were looking for something that they could kill that was within walking distance.

"What are you boys doing?" The twins froze. The voice that struck fear into the hearts of little boys echoed in their ears. Molly Weasley stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips. George couldn't help but note the wand she held firmly in her right hand.

"Uh, nothing Mum." He did his best to look innocent. "Just going through one of Percy's books." They smiled sweetly.

Molly stared at them for a good while. Then, realizing they were doing nothing she could punish them for, yet, she turned on her heel and left making a mental note the check on them in a few minutes. "You boys are more trouble than those lawn gnomes!" She tossed over her shoulder.

Fred looked at George. George looked at Fred. Maybe there was some evil they could fight nearby.

Fred poked his head out the door. George poked his head out underneath Fred's head. They looked around for anyone who would tattle on them. Mostly, they looked for Percy. The coast was clear. The twins crept out to the front lawn. The frogs in the frog pond croaked unusually loud. George shushed them.

Stupidly, the lawn gnomes popped out of their holes to see what the fuss was about. Fred grinned at George. George grinned at Fred. "We are Garden Gnome Slayers!" They cried in unison and put their hands on their hips in what they thought was a formidable pose. Earlier they had decided they needed a catch phrase, perhaps they needed to work on it.

George reached out and grabbed an knobby, brown gnome and hauled it out of its hole. The gnome thrashed and shrieked causing George to drop him. George took that opportunity to give the gnome a good kick. The gnome went a good distance and George was fairly pleased with himself.

Other gnomes were poking their heads out of their holes. Not wanting to be out-done by his twin, Fred grabbed a gnome and attempted to throw it. Just then another gnome, in a burst of gnome solidarity, rushed from its hole and tried to save its friend. But because gnomes were not usually violent creatures, all it did was tug on Fred's pants. George rushed to his brother's aid and was soon wrestling a gnome to the ground amid high pitched shouts of "Gerroff!"

Fred was still busy with his own gnome and couldn't help George. He was very aware that the other gnomes who were still in their holes were laughing at them. Enraged, Fred attempted to strangle the gnome in his grasp. It was a bad move allowing his fingers to get so close to the gnome's mouth. A sharp, stabbing pain, like being pricked with a needle, shot through his finger.

Fred yelped. Hearing her son, Molly Weasley ran out of the kitchen to find her sons wrestling gnomes. "Fred! George!" She bellowed, smoke pouring out of her ears.

The twins froze in their tracks. They gave each other looks from across the lawn, silently willing the other to say something that would get them out of trouble.

"He bit me!" Fred cried. He stuck out his finger so Molly could see the trickle of blood. She seems to think he deserved it.

* * * * *

At dinner, Molly was still mad at the twins. She hadn't punished them, but whenever she looked at them, she glared. Fred and George were used to this treatment so they just shrugged it off and ate like kings. Molly had forbidden them from hunting anymore evil or doing anything that might be dangerous. The twins, on the other hand, were thinking about going to the mountains and looking for trolls tomorrow. But nothing was definite.

Arthur Weasley had just come home from work. He found his son's antics somewhat amusing but didn't dare tell his wife that. At least it took her mind off being sad that her other sons were gone.

Ron and Ginny were giggling at a childish joke. Percy hadn't yet arrived. He was busy reading some book. Fred and George had probably read it already, they thought proudly.

"PERCY!" Molly yelled at the top of her lungs. She was on the edge already and it wasn't helping that her son was late for dinner. That was something she could not tolerate.

An annoyed Percy appeared at the top of the stairs. He pushed his glasses back onto his nose. Fred and George mocked him by elaborately pushing their fake glasses onto their noses. Percy looked down on them with an air or superiority. "Don't you two have anything better to do?"

"Not really," they answered grinning.

Molly turned around and shook her head at Percy. She didn't want him giving the twins any ideas. What they were doing now was perfectly acceptable to her. Arthur snorted into his dinner.

Ron laughed shrilly. He flung his arms around trying to imitate his twin brothers fighting garden gnomes. Fred and George continued to make fun of Percy all throughout dinner. Finally whether it was to get the twins attention or just because he thought it was dinner tradition to be mean to Percy, Ron flung a baby sized fist-full of food right at Percy's head. It landed squarely on his glasses.

Fred and George nearly killed themselves laughing. Maybe Ron wasn't so useless after all. He could kill dark wizards, after all, he had got Percy! They spent the rest of the night trying to coach Ron to do it again. Percy nor Molly appreciated that at all.

"FRED! GEORGE!" Molly yelled. They paid no attention to her.

Arthur chuckled to himself. "Maybe you won't miss all your boys so much once they're off at school," he whispered.

Molly gave him a look. But she agreed that it might be nice to have a break. "THERE WILL BE NO MORE OF YOUR ANTICS IN THIS HOUSE!" she turned her attention back to the boys.

The twins shrugged and inched away from Ron. It might not be a good idea to pursue this tonight. But tomorrow was another day...