Yeah it's me again. I couldn't sleep last night so I wrote this. It's kind weird, but every now and again I need to write something that is just makes me laugh and has no other purpose. Don't expect deep thoughts.
DISCLAIMER:The Weasleys belong to JK Rowling. ::sniff:: I wish they were mine though.
NOTES:I wrote this because Amy, w&m_law, and I were talking once and I told her about the Weasley World Domination plan(tm). And then last night I was trying to sleep and my mind just wandered there. I used some catch phrases in here. Obviously they're not going to know who Pinky and the Brain are or what the Raid slogan is but I had to put it in anyway.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last couple chapters. I'm trying to be nicer to Percy I swear! I'm working on another chapter and it's about Bill. I don't know when that'll be up. Probably not for awhile since I have three other fics I'm working on also.
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The Burrow was completely silent both inside and out. The Weasley family had just finished dinner. Molly was cleaning and Arthur was catching up on some work. The many Weasley children, however, remained seated at the kitchen table even though their plates had been cleared off long ago.
Ron stared off vacantly into space; there was a slight bit of drool coming down his chin. Ginny was resting her head on her folded arms in front of her, apparently asleep. The older boys, Bill and Charlie were having their fifth staring contest. Percy was reading a long, tiresome-looking book.
"I'm boooooooooooooored," whined Fred causing all the others to jerk their heads to look at him.
"You're anoooooooooooying," said Charlie imitating his brother's obnoxious voice.
That shut Fred up. They were engulfed in silence once more. Ginny drew idly with her finger. The boys, who had nothing better to do, watched intently. Oh, that was a nice squiggle.
"What are you kids doing?" asked Arthur as he walked into the kitchen. He put his hands on his hips and looked at his children. They all turned listlessly to look at him.
"Nothing," said Ron bitterly.
"Plotting to take over the world," George quipped.
"Have fun." Arthur shook his head and left. What a pathetic looking bunch.
The clock on the wall ticked away the minutes. Tick tock. Bill drummed his fingers on the table in tune. Tick tock.
"We could take over the world," said Fred abruptly.
"Yeah, but," George shrugged, "Think of all the effort that'd take. We'd have to get up and everything."
"Oh yeah," Fred yawned lazily. "Good point."
They all watched as Percy flipped the pages of his book. One page. Two pages. They were jealous that he had something to do. They'd read something too, but all of Percy's books bored them to tears. Three pages. Four pages.
Ginny sighed loudly.
"But how would we take over the world?" asked Bill not willing to let their one topic of discussion drop.
"Simple," answered Fred. "There's seven of us, right?" They all looked around and nodded. Yep, there were seven Weasley kids. "If the seven of us all have seven kids then there'll be 49 kids. And if the 49 of them all have seven kids then there'll be..." his voice trailed off as he realized he didn't know the math.
"343." Percy spoke up still not moving his eyes off his book.
"Yes, thank you." Fred looked pleased. "Soon the entire world will be redheaded and freckled."
"Wow," said Bill not impressed. "We better get humpin'."
Ginny giggled. "There's gonna hafta build a new wing onto Gryffindor tower."
They were quiet again as they had seemingly beaten this topic into the ground.
"There's nothing to do!" whined Fred again unable to bear the quiet. "No one's around."
"It's like we're on an island of boredom," said Charlie poetically.
No one had an answer to that. Ron started banging his head against the table. One bang. Two bangs. His face was turning red now. Someone should really say something to make him stop. Three bangs. Four bangs. But if they stopped him, then it'd be silent again.
"Oh for heaven's sake," cried Percy reasonably finally putting his book down. "Ron, stop that!"
He stopped and blushed.
"If we were stranded on a desert island," asked George as if it had been something on his mind for a long time, "who would we eat first?"
"Ewww!" yelped Ginny.
"Don't talk like that," scolded Percy.
George let the subject drop. It was soundless again. Fred eyes rolled back into his head. They watched wondering if he might be dead. That'd be interesting.
"Charlie," he said snapping his head forward. Damn. He wasn't dead.
"What?" demanded Charlie.
"We'd eat you first," explained Fred.
"You're the biggest. Got the most meat on you." The other boys nodded. That made sense.
"No!" said Ginny coming to her brother's defense. "What if there are dragons on the island? Charlie would have to protect us." She looked thoughtful. "Plus, he kills bugs and stuff."
"Good point," agreed Ron. "Kills bugs dead."
"Bill then," George reasoned.
"Nope," said Bill shaking his head. "I'll be the hunter or something. You need me."
"Yeah," Charlie laughed. "He'll kill stuff with his fang." He teasingly reached out to touch Bill's earring. Bill jerked his head away in disgust.
"Or we could just kill Bill and take the fang." They all turned to look at Fred with loathing. "What?" he demanded. "We're starving here! There's no time for pleasantries!"
Percy shook his head disapprovingly.
"Percy then." Fred smirked.
"But Percy's smart," Ron pointed out. "He might be able to get us off the island."
"Well we'll eat you then," Fred glared at Ron.
"Nah," Bill disagreed. "Ron's the most famous. Knows Harry Potter. People'll come looking for him." Ron flashed Fred a triumphant grin.
George looked at his sister sadly. "Sorry, Ginny."
"You can't kill Ginny," argued Charlie.
"Because she's the only girl. What if we have to reproduce?"
"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!" came the unanimous reply.
"That's our sister man!" said Ron squeaked.
"If we don't reproduce then we can't take over the world!" yelled Charlie.
They all nodded. Good point.
"I'm not having 49 kids!" Ginny looked horrified.
Fred and George sighed dejectedly. "Guess we'll hafta starve then."
"What about you two?" asked Bill skeptically.
The twins looked at one another appalled that Bill had even suggested it. "We're the comic relief. Without us there'd be no joy in your miserable lives," they announced proudly.
"Why do we need two comics?" asked Percy busting their bubble.
"Yeah," Charlie nodded. "We only need one of you."
The twins looked horrified.
"Tell you what," Bill grinned mischievously. "When we get to the island the first few days will be a trial period. We'll pick whoever is the funniest."
"And the other will die!" cried Ginny devilishly.
"I don't like this game anymore," spat Fred wishing he had never brought it up.
"Mum!" George cried out to Molly in a scared voice. "They're plotting to kill us again."
Molly's unimpressed voice drifted in from the living room. "That's nice, dear."
The other Weasleys laughed. Fred and George jumped to their feet. "Mum! Did you hear what I said!" They ran into the living room. Bill and Charlie leapt up and began to harass them.
"Mum doesn't care. In fact, she'll help us out," Charlie teased.
The four boys disappeared into the other room. The three remaining Weasleys heard a scuffle in the other room and then:
"Mum! Charlie's got me in a headlock!"
"That's nice, dear."
Ginny giggled. Ron ran to see. His laughter filled the Burrow.
Glad to finally be rid of them, Percy reached for his book again and started to read.
Ginny looked around the now empty kitchen and sighed. "What are we going to do tomorrow night, brain?" Ginny asked as he turned the page.
"Same thing we do every night, Ginny," he answered without looking up. "Plot to take over the world."