A Tower's Absence
He glared at the blueprints. Before turning to fix the other with a deadpan that conveyed his emotions on the whole thing better than words could ever express.
"You plan on stealing the Eiffel Tower. Tonight. And then returning it the next morning."
The person on the receiving end of said deadpan only grinned in response. "Why, Meitantei-kun, are you surprised? It is only natural of me to do something special for my day in the month of October."
Kudou Shinichi didn't waver in his deadpan. "The only other time you did something this year was for your official day in January. Why in October, then? Besides," he waved a hand at said heist plans, "You didn't even send a warning note to the French officials this time."
"Touché, Shin-chan, touché. It's only natural. It's going to be Halloween! It's supposed to be the time when ghosts and spirits and phantoms and witches – actually, never mind the witches," Kuroba Kaito proclaimed loudly, sweeping the detective from his chair. Said detective let out a squawk of surprise, before relaxing in the other's grasp. "C'mon, give me some credit. It'll be fun to watch them try to get it back to its normal place."
"You know what?" Shinichi sighed in exasperation. "I just don't care anymore. Don't try to scare the French officials too much."
The magician grinned. "Of course, Meitantei-kun, because you'll help me keep them in check!"
Another deadpan. "Am I?"
Another, if possible, wider grin. "I already booked the tickets, tantei-kun, so I'm afraid you're out of luck there. Wouldn't want money to go to waste, right?"
"Like the hell I care. For all I – Hey! Give that back!"
"Then try to catch me, Meitantei-kun!"
It was simply just weird. One moment, they were patrolling the streets like they would on a regular Sunday, the next they were running around like a bunch of headless chickens when the lights that came from the houses around them suddenly diminished.
They shouldn't have panicked. They really shouldn't have.
But immediately after said lights had faded, they began searching for the familiar glow of the Eiffel Tower. And that was the thing.
It wasn't there.
Instead of the familiar golden glow that should have been there, there seemed to be flashing lights of different colors, but no gold in sight. Fireworks were set off, and a majority of the population seemed to be out to watch. Wispy tendrils of what seemed to be fog cleared to reveal nothing in its place.
Haven't they heard of these happenings somewhere? Somewhere in Japan, wasn't there a phantom thief by the name of – what was it, what was it? – Kaitou KID, was it? But they had heard that he always sent out warnings before he stole something, and didn't he always steal jewels...? So that thief was probably out of picture. Chat Noir wasn't known for stealing huge towers either...so who did that leave?
And that was the reason for the panic. Even in the case of a blackout – which hadn't been planned, mind you –, the Tower should have been able to stay alit, as it had a whole separate set of electric wires running through it, so deep underground that no one should have been able to touch it.
One of them reached for his earpiece to contact the electrician in charge of the Eiffel Tower, but severely shaken when he received the news that the Eiffel Tower was supposed to be lit the whole time.
As they rushed to the scene, they couldn't say they were particularly surprised anymore. The Eiffel Tower was gone.
"IT'S SOMEONE'S IDEA OF A PRACTICAL PRANK! FIND HIM!"
They winced as their inspector's voice pieced through their earpiece. "Um, inspector? I don't think I see anyone carrying the Tower away from here..."
"WELL OF COURSE NO ONE WOULD BE CARRYING A COMPLETE TOWER AWAY FROM THE SIGHT! DO AS I TELL YOU! FIND HIM!"
"I don't really think that the Eiffel Tower can be taken apart..."
A pause. "I DON'T FUCKING CARE! FIND THIS...THIEF!"
The next morning, said tower was found, completely rebuilt in London, right by the statue of Sherlock Holmes. British flocked from all over the city to gaze at the sight. They wouldn't be letting go of it anytime soon...
All the way over on the other side of the globe, in Osaka, Japan, Hattori Heiji choked on his water in laughter at the TV broadcast showing the news coverage of the reappearance of the Eiffel Tower, almost dropping his cell phone in the process.
Still chuckling, he gripped his cell. "Seriously, Kudou, how did Kuroba do it? And why London?"
"Why would I know?" the Heisei Holmes grumbled. "However, I am surprised that you didn't catch the 'why London' part of it."
The Osakan thought it over, before the answer struck him, and he doubled over in laughter again. Recovering, he sputtered into the phone. "That boyfriend of yours has got some imagination. Does he think you two are some reincarnation of those two or something? Is that the only reason?"
A dry laugh. "And partially to annoy Hakuba-san too, I'm guessing," Shinichi deadpanned, "He'd be livid. Kaito's on the phone with him right now it fa– Hey! Give that –!" Sounds of a scuffle went through the telephone, before a cheerful voice answered. "Hello, tantei-han!"
"Kuroba! How the hell did you do it?"
"No, no, tantei-han," Kaito chided over the phone. "A magician never reveals his secrets!" Another voice came over the phone, Shinichi's. "He used a humongous bucket of – I have no idea where the hell in the world he got it – bl – " He was cut off by the magician's whine. "Tantei-kun!"
"Tell me!" Heiji smirked. Oh, he would so enjoy taunting Hakuba about this...You could take Kuroba's joke both ways, after all, although he knew for a fact the thief had meant his boyfriend, not the snobby half-Brit...
Back in Beika, Shinichi turned to Kaito. "Talking about that, I thought you were going to return that statue..."
"I did!" the thief protested, smirking making its way onto his face. "To its rightful place by its little detective!"
The Heisei Holmes blushed. "S-Shut up!"
A/N: I wanted to do something else, but lacked the inspiration for it. How hard can a damn volleyball be? Forgive any errors, I have no idea what they really do it France. Have a crappy on-the-spot one-shot instead, and happy October's KID day (10/14/12)! Can anybody guess what Kaito did to the Tower? I'm sorry for such a crappy fic...