Many of you probably have had bad days at work. I had a bad one. Mine couldn't get any worse. I worked on a Galactic Federation security satellite overlooking colony B-9W.I am a Galvian, a species that faces discrimination for having three arms. Almost every day my coworkers would make bad jokes and taunt me about it or talk behind my back all day long. Eventually it got so bad that I was unable to concentrate on my work. I accidentally inserted the wrong power level for the station's Nucleon Cannon, so my boss brought me into his office. He told me that I could have destroyed the satellite, so I was fired. I responded by shooting him eight times in the chest with a plasma pistol.

Inside his office, I had complete control of the station. I opened all of the airlocks and allowed everybody on board but myself to die of asphyxiation. Of course, this attracted the attention of the local government. I announced that if they tried to come up and take me, I would fire the Nucleon Cannon and destroy the entire colony. This started a lengthy negotiation process with the Galactic Federation that gave me time to figure a way out of this mess. As I was thinking, I noticed that the security cameras picked up another life form on board. I checked to see if there were any survivors, and saw a tall figure in an orange battle suit with a green cannon on their arm.

I switched on the intercom, and announced, "Attention intruder. If you do not leave immediately, I will fire the cannon."

The intruder walked up to the communication dock on a nearby wall. They answered, "No you won't you wouldn't give up your one bargaining chip to deter a single person." The voice was undeniably feminine, despite being muffled by her helmet. I asked, "Who exactly do you think you are?"

She said, "Samus Aran. Chozo-human hybrid. Last survivor of the K-2L colony. Greatest Bounty Hunter in the entire Galactic Federation. I've been sent to stop a Galvian madman named Horek Droog. I assume that's you?"

Anger caused my blue skin to boil. How dare she, a lowly bounty hunter, think that she alone was a match for me? I activated lockdown mode, sealing every exit with impenetrable blast doors. Samus was now trapped. "I chuckled and said, "How are you going to reach me?"

I watched in confusion as her entire body glowed and shrank down into an orange ball. How did she do that? Was that even physically possible? I watched as she rolled into an air duct and began traveling through the center of station. I looked on the map and saw that in order to reach me, she would have to pass through the central generator room. The room had a service bridge that could be remotely retracted. Without is, she would be trapped on the other side of a 4 meter wide trench that reached 70 meters down. She emerged from the duct and examined the gap ahead of her. Without hesitating, she leapt over it. To my amazement, she was able to repeatedly somersault through the air, landing gracefully on the other side.

I didn't worry yet. I activated the security system, and three plasma turrets rose out of the floor, opening fire on Samus. She nimbly dodged each shot, moving with the grace of a ballerina and the skill of a martial artist. She launched missiles at each of the turrets, blasting them into smoking piles of scrap. Then she looked directly at the security camera, paused for a second, and fired. The screen went black. Now I was worried.

She blasted open the door of the office and walked in, carefully checking the corners. I stood in the center of the room. I pulled out my plasma pistol and began spraying the room with hundreds of glowing green bursts. She dove behind a desk for cover. I began shooting the desk but was unable to penetrate it. She fired a purple, spiraling blast that passed through her cover and struck me in the side. My entire body buzzed with a forceful vibration. I dropped my gun and fell to the floor.

She walked towards me. I reached out my second left arm and said, "Don't come any closer!"

She chuckled and said, "Why would I do that?"

I smiled. "In my hand I am holding a dead man's trigger. If my finger comes off it, the cannon will fire and the entire wretched colony will burn."

Samus said, "We already went over this. You won't fire the cannon to stop me."

I said, "Really, I killed the whole crew because I was having a bad day at work. I'm not one to be trifled with. I know you won't risk it, because you lost your entire family when a colony was destroyed. You couldn't bear to see it happen again."

She said, "Looks like you called my bluff." She fired a blue energy shot which struck my arm, freezing it solid. She ran up to me and kicked my arm, shattering it at the base. My hand fell to the floor, the trigger still firmly in my grip. She leveled her arm cannon at my head and said.

She said, "It's over. You are a disgusting, petty little creature. You will be locked up in some godforsaken hole and never see the light of day again."

She leaned in closer, looking me directly in the eye. "I know you have a fairly high opinion of yourself, so I'm going to level with you. Catching you was easy. Really easy. My day-to-day work involves catching Space Pirates, alien parasites, lava whales, and something called 'The Nightmare'. Dealing with a delusional, three-armed blue loser is a walk in the park. "