I remember the first time I accidentally let my bisexuality slip. I was in 8th grade, sitting with Scott at the lunch table, when I made a nonchalant comment about how awesome Neil Patrick Harris's abs were.
"I never noticed, I guess," Scott had said. "Wait, Stiles, why are you looking at his abs in the first place?" I played it off like I was just jealous because I wanted abs, but I realized that day that not every guy had those kinds of thoughts about other guys.
The reason why I drag Scott with me to all of the baseball games is because, well, who doesn't like guys in tight baseball pants? Well, mostly Derek Hale in tight baseball pants. Derek is the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. He has dark, nearly black hair, green eyes and the perfect amount of muscle. He's not too huge, but playing baseball since his childhood had made him lean and perfectly sculpted.
Of course, I never expected to have a class with him. This was not supposed to happen. I'm a sophomore and he's a senior so there is no reason I should have a class with him, even if I am taking some AP classes that are usually for seniors. Okay so maybe having the class with him wasn't that bad, it's the fact that he is sitting in the desk right next to me. I'm not the most subtle person on the planet. Actually I'm probably the least subtle being in the universe. It was only sixth hour of the first day of school and I already couldn't keep my eyes off of the perfection next to me.
"Okay, class," My AP Lit teacher, Ms. Leake, started as the late bell rang. "You were supposed to write an essay this summer that is due today, so if you would, please pass those in right now." The sound of papers shuffling filled the classroom as the papers were passed forward. I glanced to my left and my eyes locked with Derek's. I froze, eyes widening, and I felt my face become hot. Of course he was going to look at me. I was the only sophomore in a class of seniors. I was the freak. He smirked at me and turned away and I felt myself relax.
The worst part about sitting in the middle of the classroom is that, well, you're in the middle. You could get easily distracted by the people in front of you, but at the same time the people behind you can see everything you do. With that thought in mind, I managed to keep my eyes completely off of Derek for the rest of the thirty minute class period. It may have been obvious to some people, especially Ms. Leake who gives me an odd look every time I jerk my head away from Derek.
It's a blessing when the bell rings. I have the next class with Scott, which means other people my age. I'm suddenly wishing I hadn't taken so many AP classes. I stay seated while everyone files out of the classroom. I hate being in crowds by myself. I'm not claustrophobic, but I don't like the feeling of having to shove your way through a group of people…especially if said people are seniors.
Apparently Derek had the same idea because we were the only two still sitting when most of the people were out. I stood up, picking up my books, suddenly anxious to get out of the classroom as fast as I could. I was about halfway to the door when I heard of voice.
"Stiles," It was Derek. Derek Hale knows my name. Derek Hale just said my name. I whirled around, eyes wide, and looked at him. He was only a few steps away from me but I had to look up to meet his eyes.
"Um, yes?" I answered. I was still in shock that he was speaking to me.
"You playing baseball this year?" He asked me. I laughed, shaking my head.
"I haven't played baseball in two years. Even when I did play I sucked."
"I've seen you play. You're pretty good. Even if you haven't played in years you can always relearn." I reach up and scratch the back of my neck, looking at the ground.
"I-I don't know."
"Think about it." My eyes shot up to his face then back down to my feet. I nod and watch as his feet walk away. I sigh in relief and follow him out the door. Scott's there waiting for me, and really, I don't give the guy enough credit. He knows me better than anyone, so I should have known he would figure it out.
"How difficult was hiding your big gay crush last hour?" Scott asks me. I squeak and flail around, and stare at him.
"WHAT?" Scott was very nonchalant while admitting he knew about my crush.
"Dude, I'm not stupid. Every time you look at him you almost start drooling. I was going to wait for you to tell me but I get the feeling you weren't going to." I felt a pang in my chest at Scott's words, and I grimaced. I wasn't planning on telling Scott and I had planned on Scott being too wrapped up in his new girlfriend, Allison, to actually pay attention.
"Sorry, bro. I didn't know how you would take it, and I knew nothing would ever happen between me and, well, anyone, so I didn't really see the point." I explained.
"What happened to Lydia?"
"Have you seen her with Jackson? They have a very self-destructive relationship but she's in love with him. Or at least she thinks she is. That's a lost cause." Stiles chuckled. "Love the Way You Lie is, like, the theme song of their relationship. Except he's not abusive, as far as I know, and they don't cheat on each other." Scott rolled his eyes.
"Whatever, dude. It doesn't bother me and I can't believe you would think it would." They walked into their classroom and sat down in the back.
"I haven't even told my dad yet. Like I said, nothing's going to happen, so it doesn't matter. Although, I would like to know if gays guys find me attractive. Maybe I'll ask Danny." Scott snorted, and then Allison walked in the room, effectively distracting Scott. I couldn't help but sigh. Scott has been my only real friend since grade school. I love Allison to death, and it wasn't her fault, but I couldn't help but resent her a little for stealing my best friend. Maybe I wouldn't mind so much if I had other friends, but…I really don't. Scott's the only one who tolerates my awkwardness enough to be my friend. Plus, if I tried to find another friend, Scott would pout and get that kicked puppy look on his face, and I would end up still being lonely.
For the rest of the class the teacher went over the Syllabus, which was the same in every class. That gave me free time to examine the pros and cons of finding a new best friend, and focus on the way Derek smiled.